LostAgain123
Prayer Warrior
Father in Heaven, in Jesus’ name I pray. You built the land, sea, and sky. You decorated the sky with the stars and dressed the earth is beauty. You are the alpha and omega and there is no limit to you.
I ask you, why has your infinite love turned away from me? My life of sin is behind me. My walk thru life includes you at the center of everything. My heart of stone was replaced with a heart of flesh. I have turned away from my old life and continually rebuke sin but ask for forgiveness when I stumble.
My prayers went from asking for help, to asking for strength for your will to be done, and then I just said “I thank you for the blessings you will give me in my lifeâ€. I seek your love and grace.
Where my sins so great that you can’t ignore me but will only bring your wrath down on my life? Are they so dark and vile that my prayers of forgiveness being ignored? Have I angered you so much that your will is to crush me beyond what I can handle month after month?
I prayed that I was weak and broken. I said many times I was beyond anything I could handle. I tried to give you all my pain. I feel like a child who is scared to ask for help due to the fear of wrath. You answer my desperate prayers for help with punishment. . I sat in my car and cried because I realized my prayers were focused on my life and not enough on you. You answer my prayers for strength and guidance with punishment. I gave you my pain and it was replaced with bitterness and anger which I have been punished for. You answer my prayers of love and forgiveness with more punishment. I tried walked by faith but I was met with punishment.
Am I like your chosen people and will never see the Promised Land for my lack of faith? Am I like Belshazzar and my pride is my downfall? Am I like Job and will receive twice the blessing I had before? You have certainly taken my family, my house, and my life. The wife of my youth treats me like I have leprosy even though I have never cheated, struck her, or abused her. I always tried to take care of her. My son has grown farther away from me to the point that I am barely a part time father. Friends and family mock me behind my back, I lost everything I have worked hard for, and my spiritual leaders guide me by telling me I need to just turn to you.
How can I learn about love and forgiveness when you continually punish me for my sins?
I ask you, why has your infinite love turned away from me? My life of sin is behind me. My walk thru life includes you at the center of everything. My heart of stone was replaced with a heart of flesh. I have turned away from my old life and continually rebuke sin but ask for forgiveness when I stumble.
My prayers went from asking for help, to asking for strength for your will to be done, and then I just said “I thank you for the blessings you will give me in my lifeâ€. I seek your love and grace.
Where my sins so great that you can’t ignore me but will only bring your wrath down on my life? Are they so dark and vile that my prayers of forgiveness being ignored? Have I angered you so much that your will is to crush me beyond what I can handle month after month?
I prayed that I was weak and broken. I said many times I was beyond anything I could handle. I tried to give you all my pain. I feel like a child who is scared to ask for help due to the fear of wrath. You answer my desperate prayers for help with punishment. . I sat in my car and cried because I realized my prayers were focused on my life and not enough on you. You answer my prayers for strength and guidance with punishment. I gave you my pain and it was replaced with bitterness and anger which I have been punished for. You answer my prayers of love and forgiveness with more punishment. I tried walked by faith but I was met with punishment.
Am I like your chosen people and will never see the Promised Land for my lack of faith? Am I like Belshazzar and my pride is my downfall? Am I like Job and will receive twice the blessing I had before? You have certainly taken my family, my house, and my life. The wife of my youth treats me like I have leprosy even though I have never cheated, struck her, or abused her. I always tried to take care of her. My son has grown farther away from me to the point that I am barely a part time father. Friends and family mock me behind my back, I lost everything I have worked hard for, and my spiritual leaders guide me by telling me I need to just turn to you.
How can I learn about love and forgiveness when you continually punish me for my sins?
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