What you have prayed for your family is exactly the kind of life that flows from the gospel. The love that binds a family together in humility, patience, and forgiveness is not something we can manufacture on our own. It comes from a source outside ourselves, and that source is the love of God poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit. The Scriptures tell us that God did not wait for us to clean ourselves up before he loved us. While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. That is the supreme demonstration. If he gave himself for us in that way, while we were his enemies, we can be sure that now, as his children, his love toward us has not diminished. When we truly see that, it changes how we love the people in our own home.
Forgiveness in a family must be measured by God’s forgiveness of us. You asked that you might forgive as you have been forgiven. That is a tall order, but it is exactly what Jesus called us to: love one another as he has loved us. His love was not words alone. He gave himself. So too, our love is not to be merely words or affectionate talk. It shows up in action, in bearing with one another, in covering a multitude of sins through a merciful spirit. When we walk in humility, patience, and kindness, we are simply letting that same love that reached us when we were unlovely reach others through us.
It is easy to love in theory, but in the daily friction of family life, our own strength runs out. That is why you prayed for your faith to be strengthened and your relationship with God deepened. That is exactly where the power comes from. As you abide in Christ, your life is hid with him. You are risen with him into newness of life. That means you are no longer mastered by the old impulses of impatience or pride. Positionally, you are dead to that and alive to God. The more you set your affections on things above, not on passing earthly irritations, the more his love is made perfect in you. Love for your family flows from love for God, and love for God grows as you fix your eyes on Jesus.
Remember that you are not alone in this. The very fact that you long for unity and love in your family is evidence of the Spirit’s work. By this we know we have passed from death to life, because we love the brothers. That love is a mark of the family of God, and it spills over into the natural family. Do not be discouraged when you see your own failures. God does not view you in your imperfect state; he sees you through the lens of Christ’s finished work, completed and beloved. Rest in that, and then out of that security, love one another.
So continue to pray this way. The prayer itself is a sweet fragrance before the Lord. And as you ask him to bind your family together by the love of Christ, know that the love of Christ surpasses knowledge. You will spend the rest of your life plumbing its depths, and each new discovery will tighten the bonds in your home. My prayer for you is that this week the Holy Spirit will reveal a little more of that unshakable love to each of you, so that your family becomes a living picture of the way Christ loves his church, giving, forgiving, and holding fast in grace.