We hear your cry for help, and our hearts ache with you as you endure this emotional turmoil at the hands of those who should be a source of love and support. The Bible tells us in Ephesians 6:4, "You fathers, don’t provoke your children to wrath, but nurture them in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." It is deeply grievous when family members, especially parents, use their words and actions to tear down rather than build up. The emotional abuse you describe—stonewalling, delaying, ignoring, playing the victim, and undermining—is not only hurtful but contrary to God’s design for family. Proverbs 15:1 reminds us, "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Yet, it seems your family has chosen the path of harshness, and we grieve with you over this brokenness.
First, we must address the peace you claim to feel in your spirit despite these circumstances. While it is good to trust in the Lord’s sovereignty, we must also be honest about the pain and injustice you are enduring. Jesus Himself wept over Jerusalem (Luke 19:41) and was moved with compassion for those who suffered (Matthew 14:14). It is not a lack of faith to acknowledge hurt; rather, it is an opportunity to bring that hurt before the Lord and allow Him to heal and restore. Psalm 34:18 assures us, "Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit." Do not suppress the pain, but bring it to the Father, who sees and cares deeply for you.
We also want to gently rebuke the patterns of manipulation and control you are experiencing. The Bible is clear that love does not behave this way. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 tells us, "Love is patient and is kind; love doesn’t envy. Love doesn’t brag, is not proud, doesn’t behave itself inappropriately, doesn’t seek its own way, is not provoked, takes no account of evil; doesn’t rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." What you are describing is the opposite of love—it is selfishness, pride, and a refusal to honor God’s command to "love one another" (John 13:34). We must call this what it is: sin. And sin, left unchecked, will only bring further destruction to your family and to you.
We also notice that your request does not mention the name of Jesus, and we must address this with urgency. There is no peace, no healing, and no true deliverance outside of Christ. Jesus said in John 14:6, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me." If you have not surrendered your life to Him, we implore you to do so now. Romans 10:9-10 tells us, "If you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart, one believes unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation." Salvation is not found in positive thinking, health, or even family—it is found in Jesus alone. If you have already placed your faith in Him, we encourage you to stand firm in that truth, even when those around you do not.
Now, let us pray for you. Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up this dear one who is enduring emotional abuse at the hands of her family. Lord, You see the stonewalling, the manipulation, the undermining, and the pain it is causing. We ask that You would be her refuge and strength, a very present help in this time of trouble (Psalm 46:1). Father, we pray that You would soften the hearts of her family members, that they would repent of their sin and seek to love and honor her as You command. If they refuse to change, Lord, we ask that You would give her the strength to set boundaries that protect her heart and her spirit, even if it means creating distance for a time.
We also pray for healing in her emotions. Lord, You are the God who heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds (Psalm 147:3). Where there is pain, bring Your comfort. Where there is confusion, bring Your clarity. Where there is fear, bring Your peace. Help her to release any bitterness or resentment, knowing that vengeance belongs to You (Romans 12:19). Fill her with Your love, joy, and peace, even in the midst of this storm.
Father, we ask that You would also guard her physical health. You have promised in 3 John 1:2, "Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be healthy, even as your soul prospers." We pray that her body would be strong and that You would sustain her in every way. Give her wisdom to care for herself, to rest when needed, and to trust in Your provision.
Most of all, Lord, we pray that she would draw near to You. Help her to find her identity, her worth, and her purpose in You alone. Remind her that she is fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14) and that Your plans for her are good (Jeremiah 29:11). Even if her family fails her, You will never leave her nor forsake her (Hebrews 13:5). Strengthen her faith, deepen her trust in You, and fill her with hope for the future.
We also pray for wisdom in how to respond to this situation. Give her discernment to know when to speak and when to remain silent, when to confront and when to walk away. Help her to extend grace, but not to enable sin. May she be a light in her family, reflecting Your love and truth even in the face of mistreatment.
Finally, Lord, we ask that You would break the chains of generational sin in this family. If there are patterns of abuse, manipulation, or control that have been passed down, we pray that You would sever them in Jesus’ name. Raise up godly men and women in this family who will honor You and treat one another with love and respect.
We pray all of this in the mighty name of Jesus, the One who came to bind up the brokenhearted and set the captives free (Isaiah 61:1). May His peace, which surpasses all understanding, guard her heart and mind (Philippians 4:7). Amen.
Beloved, we want to encourage you with the truth that you are not alone. The Lord sees your pain, and He is working even in this difficult situation. Romans 8:28 reminds us, "We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose." Even when it feels like your family is against you, God is for you. He is your defender, your protector, and your healer.
We also encourage you to seek godly counsel, whether through a trusted pastor, a Christian counselor, or a mature believer who can offer wisdom and support. Proverbs 11:14 says, "Where there is no counsel, the people fall, but in the multitude of counselors there is safety." You do not have to navigate this alone.
Lastly, remember that your worth is not defined by how your family treats you. Your worth is found in Christ, who loved you so much that He gave His life for you (Galatians 2:20). You are a child of the King, and no amount of mistreatment can change that. Stand firm in your identity in Him, and trust that He will lead you into a future filled with hope.
