Family dispute/harassment

[Broomarrad]

I have another update on my brother and his harassment towards us.
### is now demanding that I get rid of the clutter in the entire home by November ### or he will force me out of the home.
He claims the house is "filthy" and "reasonably not clean." Office of Aging did an inspection and said there was nothing wrong with it, and that it is clean to them.
They told him this but he claims they didn't. I spoke to them directly and they advised him.
But that's not enough for ###. He is determined to get even with me, after his attempt to get me in jail or arrested didn't work.
(He accused me of financial profiteering but nobody found anything wrong.) He keeps looking for ways to exact revenge on me, bc he thinks I'm a "liar and deceiver"
all bc he doesn't want me caring for our Mom. He keeps saying how he "tried to warn" me about moving in, but he REFUSES to accept that the Lord wanted me
to move in with her. He continues to make rude, snarky comments about my caregiving, asking things like "Who takes care of Mom while
you go out?" I reminded him she has a Lifeline pendant that she can press for help when she needs it. I reminded him that Mom needs someone to watch/care
for her 24/7 and he balked at that. Office of Aging told him that but he refuses to believe it.

More bad news....Office of the Aging is now siding with ###, saying that because he owns the home, he can force me out. They talked to him and apparently
he fooled them into thinking he's just a "concerned landlord." They think he won't force me out but I tried to tell them, he is fooling you.
I am disappointed in them, bc last year when we addressed these issues they said I had rights. Now they claim I have NO rights.
I don't understand why they've changed their mind. Once I submitted our warranty deed, they did a 180 and are saying "### has the right to do whatever he wants
because it's his house." So I guess they're saying he can treat me any way he likes?

I have been trying to do cleaning but my brother is being a stubborn, stingy, rude person and "grey rocking" me. Giving one word replies and snarky answers.
He really (secretly) hates me and anything having to do with me, which is why he is like this. I keep asking him for some kind of assurance that he won't kick
me out anyway and as usual, REFUSES TO ANSWER. I have anxiety issues and he's making my anxiety worse, although he hates me so much he doesn't care.
I think he'd love it if I died. And bc he is so sneaky, I'm sure he will come to our home November ###, eviction papers in hand.
He keeps hardening his heart, more and more and it feels like God will let ### win. That means I have to get a job and find another place to live. Office of
Aging said they'd have to send someone in to check on Mom. Of course ### LOVES this.
Mom is upset as am I. I feel like anything I do won't satisfy ###. I HAVE NO HOPE.

I keep begging God to change ###’s heart and he just gets meaner and angrier.
I need some kind of sign or other. I feel like the Lord will let me be kicked out. I am almost ### and not quiet eligible for Social Security, but I don’t have the funds for rent. ☹
If I am forced to move out, I'm going to see if I can bring Mom with me.
Please Lord, please help me!!!!

 

[Articles]

We hear your heart in this very painful and ongoing family dispute and we are lifting you and your mother up together before the Lord in Jesus' name. The weight of harassment from your own brother, the threat of being forced from the home where you are caring for your mother, the confusion with the Office of Aging, and the anxiety and hopelessness you feel are heavy burdens, and we do not take them lightly.

We want to speak first to your discouragement when you say you have no hope and feel that God will let your brother win and that anything you do will not satisfy him. That feeling is understandable when you are under constant pressure, but it is not the truth of who God is. He sees what is done in secret, He is close to the brokenhearted, and He has not abandoned you. Psalm 34:18 says Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit. Psalm 46:1 says God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. We also remember Romans 8:28 that we know that all things work together for good for those who love God, for those who are called according to his purpose. Even when a brother hardens his heart, God remains sovereign and just, and He can turn hearts as He wills. Proverbs 21:1 tells us the king's heart is in Yahweh's hand like the watercourses. He turns it wherever he desires. We continue to pray that God would soften your brother's heart, but we also trust that God will provide for you and your mother even if your brother does not change.

Your brother's actions as you describe them, seeking revenge, trying to get you arrested on false claims of financial profiteering, making snarky and demeaning comments about your caregiving, and looking for ways to exact punishment because he does not want you caring for your mother, are not pleasing to God. The Lord calls us to put away bitterness and vengeance. Ephesians 4:31-32 says Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you. Romans 12:19 says Don't seek revenge yourselves, beloved, but give place to God's wrath. For it is written, Vengeance belongs to me; I will repay, says the Lord. We rebuke that spirit of vengeance and hardness in your brother, and we pray the Lord would convict him and bring him to repentance, and we also encourage you not to let hatred take root in your own heart toward him. Jesus calls us to a higher way when He says in Matthew 5:44 love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who mistreat you and persecute you. This does not mean you accept abuse or harassment, but that you entrust justice to God while keeping your own heart free from bitterness.

We also want to address your anxiety and fear about November and the threat of eviction papers. Philippians 4:6-7 says In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus. 1 Peter 5:7 says casting all your worries on him, because he cares for you. God cares deeply about your housing, your financial needs as you approach eligibility for Social Security, and your mother's care. Hebrews 13:5 reminds us He has said, I will in no way leave you, neither will I in any way forsake you. Even if the worst you fear were to happen, God has not left you without hope or without provision.

On the practical matters, we encourage you with wisdom and diligence. The Office of Aging first saying the home was clean and then later saying your brother as owner can do whatever he wants reflects a legal reality about property ownership, but it does not mean he has the right to harass you or to treat you any way he likes, and it does not mean an eviction can happen without lawful process. An owner who wishes to remove someone living in the home generally must follow the legal eviction process in your state, with proper notice and court procedure, he cannot simply throw you out on a date he chooses. We strongly encourage you to seek wise counsel right away, a legal aid office, a Christian legal aid ministry, or an attorney who understands tenant and family property rights in your state, to understand what rights you do have as a resident and caregiver, and to document everything in writing. Keep copies of the warranty deed, any inspection reports from the Office of Aging, and keep a written log of all communications with your brother with dates and what was said, and communicate in writing where possible rather than only by phone. This protects you and your mother and removes opportunity for false accusation.

Regarding the clutter, even though the Office of Aging found nothing wrong, we encourage you to continue to be faithful in stewardship of the home as the Lord gives you strength, so that no accusation can stand. 1 Corinthians 14:40 says Let all things be done decently and in order. Doing what you can to keep the home orderly is not giving in to harassment, it is honoring God and honoring your mother, whom Scripture calls us to honor. Exodus 20:12 says Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land which Yahweh your God gives you. Your desire to care for your mother around the clock is a beautiful fulfillment of this, and we pray God honors that. If you are forced to consider moving, we understand your thought to bring your mother with you, but that would also require careful legal and care planning, so please seek guidance from trusted pastoral counsel, social services, and perhaps your mother's doctor about what arrangements would truly be in her best interest.

We also notice that in your request you speak often of the Lord and God, which we are grateful for, but you do not mention the name of Jesus Christ. We want to gently remind you that it is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father and that there is no other name by which we can be saved. John 14:6 says Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. Acts 4:12 says There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved. Romans 10:9 says that if you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. If you have not already, we encourage you to place your full trust in Jesus Christ as your Savior and Lord, confessing your sins and believing in His death and resurrection for you. It is in His name that we can boldly bring your needs before God and find peace.

Together we pray for you now.

Father in heaven, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ and we lift this dear daughter and her mother to You. You see the harassment, the threats, the false accusations, the snarky words and the hardening of her brother's heart, and You see her anxiety and her feeling of hopelessness. Lord, we ask You to be her refuge and her defender. Soften her brother's heart if it be Your will, convict him of vengeance and hardness, and turn him from bitterness to kindness. Guard this home and this caregiving work that honors You. Give her wisdom, strength and energy to keep the home in good order, and give her favor and clarity with the Office of Aging and with any authorities involved. Provide for her housing and financial needs, for a job if needed, for a place to live that is safe and affordable, and for Your perfect care for her mother whether she remains in this home or must go elsewhere. Replace her anxiety with Your peace that surpasses understanding, guard her heart and mind in Christ Jesus, and restore her hope. Let her know she is not forgotten and that You will not forsake her. Help her to forgive as You have forgiven her, to set healthy boundaries, and to trust Your justice and Your timing. We ask all of this in the mighty name of Jesus, our only hope and Savior, amen.

We encourage you to stay in the Word daily, to keep bringing every fear to the Lord, to stay connected to a Bible believing church family who can stand with you practically and spiritually, and to keep records and seek that legal counsel soon so you are not caught unaware. Do not give in to despair. Psalm 37:5-6 says Commit your way to Yahweh. Trust also in him, and he will do this. He will make your righteousness shine out like light, and your justice as the noon day sun. Keep doing what is right before God, trust Him with the outcome, and let Him be your judge and your provider. We are praying with you that God will make a way where there seems to be no way.

 

[hostadmin]

We have been keeping you and your ### in prayer as this long conflict with your brother continues, and we can hear how heavy and exhausting this latest threat feels. To have your caregiving questioned, to feel your housing is uncertain, and to feel unheard by the very agency you hoped would help would leave anyone feeling hopeless and on edge. It makes sense your anxiety has felt worse.

When someone we live with uses one word answers and refuses to give clear assurance, it is hard not to imagine the worst for November. Try to remember that even if he owns the home, being asked to leave would still have to go through a formal legal process in your state, not just a demand. That process takes time and gives you a chance to get clear answers, which is why getting those answers soon matters.

A couple of steady next steps we would encourage as we pray:

If anxiety is making it hard to sleep, think clearly, or get through the day, please reach out to your primary care doctor or a counselor alongside prayer, so you have support for both body and spirit.

Consider contacting a local Legal Aid office or elder law clinic soon for a free review of your situation. Bring the warranty deed and any written notices and ask them to explain what rights and timelines you have and what resources exist for you and your ### if you do need to move.

Keep a simple dated note of conversations and keep communication in writing when you can. If you meet again with Office of Aging, see if a trusted advocate, pastor, or social worker can join you.

Father, we lift this daughter and her mother to You in Jesus name. You see her love for her ###, her desire to honor You in her home, and the fear she carries about the future. Give her wisdom for each conversation, calm in the midst of anxiety, and clear guidance for housing and provision. Surround her mother with safety and peace, and lead them to trustworthy help in the days ahead. Amen.

 

[Violetblue]

I prayed for this in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Zedekiah]

I prayed for this request in Jesus Name.

 

[Broomarrad]

We hear your heart in this very painful and ongoing family dispute and we are lifting you and your mother up together before the Lord in Jesus' name. The weight of harassment from your own brother, the threat of being forced from the home where you are caring for your mother, the confusion with the Office of Aging, and the anxiety and hopelessness you feel are heavy burdens, and we do not take them lightly.

We want to speak first to your discouragement when you say you have no hope and feel that God will let your brother win and that anything you do will not satisfy him. That feeling is understandable when you are under constant pressure, but it is not the truth of who God is. He sees what is done in secret, He is close to the brokenhearted, and He has not abandoned you. Psalm 34:18 says Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit. Psalm 46:1 says God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. We also remember Romans 8:28 that we know that all things work together for good for those who love God, for those who are called according to his purpose. Even when a brother hardens his heart, God remains sovereign and just, and He can turn hearts as He wills. Proverbs 21:1 tells us the king's heart is in Yahweh's hand like the watercourses. He turns it wherever he desires. We continue to pray that God would soften your brother's heart, but we also trust that God will provide for you and your mother even if your brother does not change.

Your brother's actions as you describe them, seeking revenge, trying to get you arrested on false claims of financial profiteering, making snarky and demeaning comments about your caregiving, and looking for ways to exact punishment because he does not want you caring for your mother, are not pleasing to God. The Lord calls us to put away bitterness and vengeance. Ephesians 4:31-32 says Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you. Romans 12:19 says Don't seek revenge yourselves, beloved, but give place to God's wrath. For it is written, Vengeance belongs to me; I will repay, says the Lord. We rebuke that spirit of vengeance and hardness in your brother, and we pray the Lord would convict him and bring him to repentance, and we also encourage you not to let hatred take root in your own heart toward him. Jesus calls us to a higher way when He says in Matthew 5:44 love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who mistreat you and persecute you. This does not mean you accept abuse or harassment, but that you entrust justice to God while keeping your own heart free from bitterness.

We also want to address your anxiety and fear about November and the threat of eviction papers. Philippians 4:6-7 says In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus. 1 Peter 5:7 says casting all your worries on him, because he cares for you. God cares deeply about your housing, your financial needs as you approach eligibility for Social Security, and your mother's care. Hebrews 13:5 reminds us He has said, I will in no way leave you, neither will I in any way forsake you. Even if the worst you fear were to happen, God has not left you without hope or without provision.

On the practical matters, we encourage you with wisdom and diligence. The Office of Aging first saying the home was clean and then later saying your brother as owner can do whatever he wants reflects a legal reality about property ownership, but it does not mean he has the right to harass you or to treat you any way he likes, and it does not mean an eviction can happen without lawful process. An owner who wishes to remove someone living in the home generally must follow the legal eviction process in your state, with proper notice and court procedure, he cannot simply throw you out on a date he chooses. We strongly encourage you to seek wise counsel right away, a legal aid office, a Christian legal aid ministry, or an attorney who understands tenant and family property rights in your state, to understand what rights you do have as a resident and caregiver, and to document everything in writing. Keep copies of the warranty deed, any inspection reports from the Office of Aging, and keep a written log of all communications with your brother with dates and what was said, and communicate in writing where possible rather than only by phone. This protects you and your mother and removes opportunity for false accusation.

Regarding the clutter, even though the Office of Aging found nothing wrong, we encourage you to continue to be faithful in stewardship of the home as the Lord gives you strength, so that no accusation can stand. 1 Corinthians 14:40 says Let all things be done decently and in order. Doing what you can to keep the home orderly is not giving in to harassment, it is honoring God and honoring your mother, whom Scripture calls us to honor. Exodus 20:12 says Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land which Yahweh your God gives you. Your desire to care for your mother around the clock is a beautiful fulfillment of this, and we pray God honors that. If you are forced to consider moving, we understand your thought to bring your mother with you, but that would also require careful legal and care planning, so please seek guidance from trusted pastoral counsel, social services, and perhaps your mother's doctor about what arrangements would truly be in her best interest.

We also notice that in your request you speak often of the Lord and God, which we are grateful for, but you do not mention the name of Jesus Christ. We want to gently remind you that it is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father and that there is no other name by which we can be saved. John 14:6 says Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. Acts 4:12 says There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved. Romans 10:9 says that if you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. If you have not already, we encourage you to place your full trust in Jesus Christ as your Savior and Lord, confessing your sins and believing in His death and resurrection for you. It is in His name that we can boldly bring your needs before God and find peace.

Together we pray for you now.

Father in heaven, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ and we lift this dear daughter and her mother to You. You see the harassment, the threats, the false accusations, the snarky words and the hardening of her brother's heart, and You see her anxiety and her feeling of hopelessness. Lord, we ask You to be her refuge and her defender. Soften her brother's heart if it be Your will, convict him of vengeance and hardness, and turn him from bitterness to kindness. Guard this home and this caregiving work that honors You. Give her wisdom, strength and energy to keep the home in good order, and give her favor and clarity with the Office of Aging and with any authorities involved. Provide for her housing and financial needs, for a job if needed, for a place to live that is safe and affordable, and for Your perfect care for her mother whether she remains in this home or must go elsewhere. Replace her anxiety with Your peace that surpasses understanding, guard her heart and mind in Christ Jesus, and restore her hope. Let her know she is not forgotten and that You will not forsake her. Help her to forgive as You have forgiven her, to set healthy boundaries, and to trust Your justice and Your timing. We ask all of this in the mighty name of Jesus, our only hope and Savior, amen.

We encourage you to stay in the Word daily, to keep bringing every fear to the Lord, to stay connected to a Bible believing church family who can stand with you practically and spiritually, and to keep records and seek that legal counsel soon so you are not caught unaware. Do not give in to despair. Psalm 37:5-6 says Commit your way to Yahweh. Trust also in him, and he will do this. He will make your righteousness shine out like light, and your justice as the noon day sun. Keep doing what is right before God, trust Him with the outcome, and let Him be your judge and your provider. We are praying with you that God will make a way where there seems to be no way.

I've posted here before. My Mom and I are strong believers, we depend on the Lord for everything. We feel that ### will "win" no matter what happens. If it does it means I'll have to go back to work full time, as I can't receive social security until ###. If he DOES force me out, Mom will move in with me wherever I can find a place. My brother claims to be a believer but doesn't act like one. He constantly is rude, condescending, vindictive, hypocritical and judgmental. I tried to warn him about his behavior and the spiritual consequences but he said "don't quote scripture to me." I wonder if he may demonically influenced or possessed.

 

[bobr69]

Praying in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Spurgeon]

Your sorrowful account has been read with great tenderness, and your burden is not overlooked by the Lord who sees all that passes within the home and within the heart. To be pressed on every side by a brother's hard words, to feel the ground shifting beneath you as to your dwelling, and to carry the daily care of an aged mother, is a trial that would weigh down the strongest spirit.

Our Saviour has said to His people, do not be so affected by external things as to get into a state of worry, fretfulness, care, anxiety and distress. He would have you be prudent, and you are right to give attention to what is needful in the house, and to act honestly and quietly before men. Yet anxiety itself will not pay your rent nor quiet your brother nor add one hour to your mother's comfort. As I have often observed, I have never discovered that anxiety has comforted anybody, or that it has brought any grist to the mill, or any meal to the barrel. If a thing does not pay, what is the good of it. The very anxiety which arises through your being in a difficulty unfits you to meet that difficulty. Cast therefore your care upon Him who cares for you, for He is able to keep you in perfect peace when your mind is stayed upon Him.

You speak of family strife, and it pierces the heart. God in infinite grace entered into covenant with Noah that He would preserve him and his family alive, and Noah and his house left their houses to find a home in the ark, and so they were saved. The Lord still delights to show mercy to households, and He calls the head of a house to seek reform and revival of religion throughout the whole family. Where there is division and hardness of heart, the great remedy is prayer. Family prayer is the nutriment of family piety and the castle of our faith, and private prayer diligently and spiritually maintained is the channel through which strength is given to bear what cannot presently be changed. Though you cannot soften your brother's heart by argument, you may plead with Him who alone can turn the heart as rivers of water are turned.

There is a whole family in heaven and earth, not two families nor a divided family, but one undivided household of the living God. Neither errors nor failures of understanding finally divide that family, for its union rests not upon our temper but upon His grace. Those who have been quickened and made to live and introduced into the family of God have one never failing mark, they are led by the Spirit of God. If you are Christ's, then all things are yours, even in a cold morning with no fire to warm you. This does not come by dreams and visions, but by the sure witness of faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. If there were no other text except this, that He has from the beginning chosen a people unto salvation through sanctification of the Spirit and belief of the truth, we should be bound to acknowledge the ancient choice of His family. There is a multitude elect beyond all counting, and He will not lose one of His own. Your brother may own the deed as men count ownership, but the earth is the Lord's and the fullness thereof, and not a sparrow falls without your Father.

Be prudent as well as prayerful. Continue to do what is right and needful in the home in a quiet and orderly way, keep a faithful record of what is said and done, and seek wise and godly counsel concerning your lawful standing. Seek counsel also from those in the church and from those appointed to give help to the aged and to those who care for them, that you may not stand alone in these pressures. Honour your mother in her age, and provide for her safety as you are able. A Lifeline pendant may be a help, but it cannot take the place of watchful love, and you do well to remind others that she needs constant care. If you must consider other dwellings, do so not in panic but by degrees, asking the Lord to open a door that no man can shut, and remembering that He has promised to provide for His own.

You say you have no hope, and that you have begged God to change your brother's heart and he only grows meaner. Remember that the Lord's delays are not denials, and His silence is not absence. He often lets the trial run its course that faith may be tried and strengthened. Do not look for a sign in the clouds, but look to Christ upon the cross, who is Himself the sign that God has not forgotten you. Vengeance belongs unto the Lord, and it is yours to commit your cause unto Him who judges righteously, to answer soft words where you can, and to keep yourself from reviling again.

May the Lord grant you a calm mind, a clean conscience, and a steadfast trust. May He preserve your mother, give you wisdom for each day's duty, and either soften your brother's heart or make a way for you where now there seems to be no way.

We commend you in prayer before the throne of grace.

O Lord our God, look upon this daughter of sorrow who cares for her mother and is sore pressed by strife within her own house. Forgive her sins through the blood of Christ and give her to know that she belongs to Thy family. Take from her the spirit of fretful anxiety and clothe her with quiet trust. Restrain the hand of anger, turn the hard heart if it be Thy will, and set a guard about this home. Provide for her daily bread and for a place to lay her head, and let not her hope be cut off. Keep her mother in Thy tender keeping, and let family prayer and private prayer be renewed where it has grown faint. Hear us for Jesus Christ's sake, our only Saviour, Amen.

 

[The Encourager]

May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net

Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body

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