extremely personal

[BrazillianBlessing]

I ask for prayer and for agreement in prayer. I have circumstances and situations within my life that have caused me to be in misery and chaos without peace. First, I have problems with my own mother. I have been trying to get her to change and come to God for years. I have been praying for her to get a place of her own that she can afford and be safe, and every time I do, she manages to mess it up. Then, she wants to try and take advantage of people, including her own children. I don't know what to do about that. I have found another place, and now she doesn't want anything to do with it and would rather be homeless, which leads her to go to the hospital each time.

Then, I have my partner who continues to choose his family, everything else, and everyone else over me. We are on thin rope, and I don't think he even cares. I had my mother with me under my partner's roof, and his daughter and grandchildren. They were all told temporary and had to go. My mother kept getting herself shorter and shorter time spans to be here, not only because of her own actions but because he wanted his house back. But yet, he still had his side still there, constantly going in and out and doing this and that, but it's okay because it's his family. Loud noise and not following his rules, but she got an extended stay and moved into the room that my mom had because my mom was the only one that had to follow the deadline. Her temporary stay was temporary, but his daughter's temporary stay was extended, and she has a home to go to. She is married and is being the main cause of her marriage not going well. He is not blameless; he helped but has been trying to change and be better, and she refuses to do anything to help try and fix her marriage, which she started off destroying and keep making it worse and trying to play the blame game and playing games and being a victim at what she has caused. Now, I am stuck with my own relationship being shattered or put on a back burner because of this chaos and manipulation from his daughter. He also has secrets of his own too. He still messages and texts other females from his past and now his present. He is always on different social media platforms messaging other people, especially other women. He friends them, and I have to delete them. He lets others in his ear and lets people/women, especially his daughter, manipulate and be in his ear to make decisions for him or beg and make him feel bad so that he will give them, especially his daughter, what she wants. He enables his daughter to keep acting and doing what she does. I am a side or put in my place and made to see that his place is his; it is not mine, and I am not on his mortgage title or have any claim to his house. He makes it known that we are just roommates that share the house together because we are not married. We are engaged and not sexually active. I have put an ultimatum in place that we would not be having sex or be sexually engaged until we were married. He agreed, but still messes with others. I have to deal with his emotional cheating every day, and I would be surprised if it is physical now too. He has been distant and gets an attitude really quickly and most of the time for slight to no reason at all. I just want my life to prosper and get back to a place of peace. I want a man in my life that is all about me after putting God first, not only in his life like I have done with mine but put it over our relationship and let everything else go and forsake all else and let God be in control.

 

[Articles]

We hear your cry for peace, and we stand with you in agreement before the throne of grace, lifting these heavy burdens to the Lord. The pain and frustration you carry are real, and we grieve with you over the brokenness in these relationships. Let us first acknowledge that your longing for peace, godly love, and order is not only valid but reflects the heart of God for His children. The chaos you describe is not His design, and we declare that He sees your tears and hears your prayers.

We must begin by addressing the foundation of all hope and healing—faith in Jesus Christ. It is only through His name that we have access to the Father, and there is no other name by which we are saved. Jesus said, *"I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me"* (John 14:6). If you have not already, we encourage you to surrender your life fully to Him, confessing your sins and trusting in His sacrifice for your salvation. Without Christ at the center, even our best efforts to change circumstances or people will fall short. He is the Prince of Peace, and true peace can only be found in Him.

Regarding your mother, we see your heart for her salvation and well-being, and we commend your persistence in prayer. However, we must gently but firmly rebuke the pattern of control and manipulation you describe. Scripture warns us, *"Do not be deceived: ‘Bad company corrupts good morals’"* (1 Corinthians 15:33). While we are called to honor our parents, we are not called to enable sin or allow ourselves to be drawn into their chaos. Proverbs 22:24-25 says, *"Don’t befriend a hot-tempered man, and don’t associate with one who harbors anger: lest you learn his ways, and ensnare your soul."* It may be time to set firm boundaries with your mother, not out of bitterness, but out of wisdom and self-preservation. You cannot force her to change or make wise choices; only the Holy Spirit can convict her heart. Continue to pray for her, but do not allow her actions to dictate your peace or stability. Trust God to work in her life, even if the outcome is not what you hope for.

Now, we must address the serious issues in your relationship with your fiancé. First, we must call out the sin of fornication. While we commend you for setting a boundary of abstinence until marriage, the fact that you are living together unmarried is already a violation of God’s design. 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 says, *"Flee sexual immorality! ‘Every sin that a man does is outside the body,’ but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or don’t you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. Therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s."* Living together in this way opens the door to temptation, confusion, and spiritual compromise. We urge you to separate physically until marriage, as this is the only way to honor God fully in this area.

The emotional and potential physical infidelity you describe is deeply grievous. Proverbs 6:32-33 warns, *"He who commits adultery with a woman is void of understanding. He who does it destroys his own soul. He will get wounds and dishonor. His reproach will not be wiped away."* Your fiancé’s actions are not only sinful but reveal a heart that is not fully committed to you or to God. His engagement in secret communications with other women, his prioritization of his daughter’s manipulation over your well-being, and his refusal to establish clear boundaries are all red flags that this relationship is not aligned with God’s will. Marriage is a covenant, and a man who cannot honor you as his future wife—even before the wedding—will not magically change after. We must rebuke the sin of emotional adultery and the enabling of his daughter’s destructive behavior. Ephesians 5:3 says, *"But sexual immorality, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not even be mentioned among you, as becomes saints."*

We also must address the issue of his daughter’s marriage. While we pray for her and her husband to seek God’s healing, her refusal to take responsibility for her actions and her manipulation of her father are sinful. Proverbs 14:1 says, *"Every wise woman builds her house, but the foolish one tears it down with her own hands."* Her behavior is not only destroying her own marriage but is also tearing apart yours. Your fiancé’s enabling of her sin is equally destructive. We must call this what it is: sin. Galatians 6:7-8 warns, *"Don’t be deceived. God is not mocked, for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. For he who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption. But he who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life."*

We urge you to seek godly counsel from a pastor or mature Christian couple who can help you navigate this situation with wisdom. Proverbs 11:14 says, *"Where there is no counsel, the people fall, but in the multitude of counselors there is safety."* You cannot continue in this relationship as it is, and we fear that without drastic change, you will only experience more pain. We must ask you plainly: Is this the man God has called you to marry? Does he demonstrate the fruit of the Spirit—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23)? Does he honor God with his actions, or does he make excuses for sin? These are questions you must answer with brutal honesty before the Lord.

We also encourage you to examine your own heart. Are you seeking validation or security in this relationship rather than in Christ? Psalm 62:5-6 says, *"My soul, wait in silence for God alone, for my expectation is from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress. I will not be shaken."* Your worth and identity are found in Him, not in a man’s affection or approval. If you are clinging to this relationship out of fear of loneliness or desperation, we urge you to surrender it to God. He has a plan for your life, and it is a plan for hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11).

Let us pray for you now:

Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up this precious sister in Christ. Lord, You see the pain, the chaos, and the brokenness she is enduring. We ask that You would be her peace in the midst of this storm. Father, we pray for her mother, that You would soften her heart and draw her to repentance and salvation. Give our sister wisdom and strength to set boundaries that honor You and protect her own heart.

Lord, we rebuke the sin of emotional and physical infidelity in her fiancé’s life. We ask that You would convict his heart and bring him to true repentance. If this relationship is not Your will, we pray that You would make it clear and give her the courage to walk away. Father, we ask that You would heal the wounds caused by manipulation and betrayal, and restore her hope in Your goodness.

We pray for godly wisdom and discernment for her. Surround her with godly counsel and friends who will speak truth into her life. Help her to seek You above all else, and to find her identity and security in Christ alone. Lord, we ask that You would bring a man into her life who loves You first and foremost, and who will cherish and honor her as Your daughter. Until then, we pray that You would be her husband and her provider, meeting every need according to Your riches in glory.

Father, we declare that You are a God of restoration. We ask that You would restore what has been broken and bring order where there is chaos. Give her the strength to walk in obedience to Your Word, even when it is difficult. We trust You to work all things together for her good, and we declare that her story is not over. In the mighty name of Jesus, we pray. Amen.

We encourage you to seek the Lord earnestly in this season. Spend time in His Word, in prayer, and in fellowship with other believers who can support and encourage you. Psalm 34:18-19 says, *"The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all."* You are not alone, and God has not forgotten you. Trust Him to lead you into the peace and prosperity you long for.

 

[hostadmin]

We're here with you, standing in the gap, lifting your burdens to the Lord. We see your heartache and the chaos in your relationships, and we want you to know that God sees it too. He's right there with you, and He's not okay with the pain you're in.

First, let's remember that our hope and healing come from Jesus Christ. He's the only way to the Father, and it's through Him that we find peace, truth, and life. Have you fully surrendered your life to Him? If not, we encourage you to do so. Confess your sins and trust in His sacrifice for your salvation.

Now, about your mother. We understand your desire for her to change and come to God. Keep praying for her, but remember, you can't force her to make wise choices. Set boundaries out of wisdom and self-preservation. You can't control her actions, but you can control how you respond. Trust God to work in her life, even if the outcome isn't what you hope for.

Your relationship with your fiancé is also a concern. Living together unmarried is not God's design, and it opens the door to temptation and spiritual compromise. We urge you to separate physically until marriage. Also, his emotional and potential physical infidelity is deeply grievous. It's time to address this sin and the enabling of his daughter's destructive behavior.

His daughter's marriage is another issue. Her refusal to take responsibility and her manipulation are sinful. They're not only destroying her marriage but also tearing apart yours. Both your fiancé and his daughter need to take responsibility for their actions and seek God's healing.

We urge you to seek godly counsel from a pastor or mature Christian couple. You can't continue in this relationship as it is. Ask yourself: Is this the man God has called you to marry? Does he demonstrate the fruit of the Spirit? Does he honor God with his actions?

Also, examine your own heart. Are you seeking validation or security in this relationship rather than in Christ? Your worth and identity are found in Him, not in a man's affection or approval.

Let's pray:

Dear Lord, we come to You with this precious sister in Christ. We lift her up before You, Lord. We ask that You would be her peace in the midst of this storm. Father, we pray for her mother. Soft her heart, Lord. Draw her to repentance and salvation. Give our sister wisdom and strength to set boundaries that honor You and protect her own heart.

Lord, we rebuke the sin of emotional and physical infidelity in her fiancé's life. Convict his heart, Lord. If this relationship is not Your will, give her the courage to walk away. Heal the wounds caused by manipulation and betrayal, Lord. Restore her hope in Your goodness.

Give her godly wisdom and discernment, Lord. Surround her with godly counsel and friends who will speak truth into her life. Help her to seek You above all else and find her identity and security in Christ alone. Until then, be her husband and provider, Lord. Meet every need according to Your riches in glory.

Father, You are a God of restoration. Restore what has been broken, Lord. Bring order where there is chaos. Give her strength to walk in obedience to Your Word, even when it's difficult. We trust You to work all things together for her good. In the mighty name of Jesus, we pray. Amen.

We encourage you to seek the Lord earnestly in this season. Spend time in His Word, in prayer, and in fellowship with other believers who can support and encourage you. You're not alone, and God hasn't forgotten you. Trust Him to lead you into the peace and prosperity you long for.

 

[EnricoLange]

Lord Jesus please richly bless, protect and guide them. Please help them in accordance with your perfect will Father. Thank you and praise you. In your holy name I pray. Amen.