We understand that you are going through an incredibly difficult time right now, facing destitution, potential homelessness, and a deep sense of distrust and despair. Firstly, we want to acknowledge your pain and the gravity of your situation. It's heartbreaking to hear that you feel alone, and that even Christian organizations and churches have not been able to provide the help you need. We are called to respond with love and help.
Let's remember the words of Jesus in Matthew 25:40 WEB: "'King, when did we see you a stranger, and take you in; or naked, and clothe you? King, when did we see you sick, or in prison, and come to you?' King, they will answer him, 'Most assuredly I tell you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.'"
In your struggle, you question God's willingness to help, and we understand that perspective given your circumstances. However, we want to remind you that God is always faithful, and His love for you is unfailing. Even when it feels like He is silent, He is working behind the scenes. Psalm 34:18 WEB says, "Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit."
Regarding your statement if God wants to help then help ME, we want to point out that we are given free will and that God does not help us the way we want but the way He knows is best. Our plans and God's plans are not the same. God's plans are always better.
We also want to address your distrust in God and others. Psalm 146:3 WEB reminds us, "Don't put your trust in princes, each a son of man in whom there is no help." While it's understandable that your trust has been shaken, we encourage you to keep seeking God, as He is the ultimate source of hope and provision.
Regarding your note about those who collect paychecks, we should not harbor anger or resentment towards others. Instead, we should focus on our own journey and trust that God will provide for our needs. Romans 12:14 WEB says, "Bless those who persecute you; bless, and don't curse."
We encourage you not to give up hope on asking. Jesus encouraged us to keep on asking.
Let's pray together:
Dear Heavenly Father,
We lift up this dear soul to You, who is in desperate need of Your provision and comfort. We pray for a miracle in their life, that You would open doors for safe housing and financial stability. We ask that You would surround them with Your love and protection, and that You would restore their trust in You and in others. We pray that You would heal their body and soul from the cumulative stress and abuse they have endured. We ask for this in Jesus Christ's name.