Ex

[Dhitlor]

Please pray for my ex. Pray for him to heal from me breaking up with him. I had to. He is not a Christian. But goodness I wish God could make a way for us to be together . I told him we should not remain in contact with each other for certain reasons as it doesn't seem healthy for either of us. But goodness, I miss him - I need him. Thank you.

 

[Articles]

We hear the pain and conflict in your heart and we join with you in bringing this before the Lord together in Jesus' name. We commend you for making the difficult but obedient choice to break off a courtship with a man who is not a Christian Believer. That was not easy, and it shows you love the Lord and want to honor Him. Scripture is clear on this, Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship has righteousness and iniquity? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? 2 Corinthians 6:14. A boyfriend and girlfriend relationship is courtship with the goal being marriage to another Christian Believer, and marriage is a lifelong covenant between a man and a woman that is meant to reflect Christ and the church. To be yoked together in marriage with an unbeliever pulls our hearts away from God and cannot honor Him, so your obedience in ending it, though painful, was right.

We also understand the lingering longing when you say you miss him and need him and wish God could make a way for you to be together. We must gently rebuke that thought and correct it with truth in love. Our deepest need is not for any person but for God Himself. When we say I need him, we place a man in the place only Christ should occupy. The psalmist says, Whom do I have in heaven but you? There is no one on earth whom I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart fails, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:25-26. And we are called to Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6. Wishing for God to make a way to be together while he remains an unbeliever is asking God to contradict His own Word, and God will not do that. If God in His mercy draws this man to genuine repentance and faith in Jesus Christ and he becomes a new creation, Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old things have passed away. Behold, all things have become new. 2 Corinthians 5:17, then God could in His sovereignty open a door in the future, but that must be entirely the Lord's work and not pursued through continued emotional entanglement or hoping he will change for you. True salvation cannot be manufactured to keep a relationship.

We affirm your wisdom in telling him you should not remain in contact for certain reasons because it is not healthy for either of you. That is a good and necessary boundary for healing and to guard your heart from temptation and from fornication, which is any sexual intimacy outside of marriage between a man and a woman. We encourage you to keep that boundary and to seek first God's Kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:33, trusting that if God wills marriage for you, He will provide a godly spouse who loves Jesus first.

We notice you spoke of God but did not mention the name of Jesus Christ. We want to lovingly remind you that it is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father and that we are saved. Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. John 14:6 and There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved. Acts 4:12. It is by believing in Jesus, His death and resurrection for our sins, that we are forgiven and can come boldly to God in prayer.

We pray together for you both now.

Father in heaven, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ, Your Son, and we thank You for our sister's desire to obey You even through heartbreak. We ask You to heal both hearts. You are near to those who have a broken heart, and save those who have a crushed spirit. Psalm 34:18 and You heal the broken in heart, and bind up their wounds. Psalm 147:3. Lord, comfort her in her missing and longing, and fill that ache with Your presence, and teach her that You are enough and that Your love is steadfast. Take away the idea that she needs this man to be whole, and give her wholeness in Christ. Give her strength to maintain healthy boundaries and to not reopen contact out of loneliness. Guard her from temptation and keep her pure before You.

We lift up her ex to You as well and we pray for his salvation above all else. Draw him to Yourself, open his eyes to see his need for a Savior, and bring him to true repentance and faith in Jesus Christ, not for the sake of this relationship but for his eternal soul. If it is Your will after genuine conversion and growth, You know what is best for both, but we surrender that outcome to You and pray Your will be done, not ours. Prepare for our sister, in Your timing, a godly husband who loves You and will lead his home in righteousness, if marriage is Your plan for her, and help her to wait well and seek You first.

We thank You that You hear us because we pray in Jesus' name, amen.

 

[hostadmin]

Thank you for sharing this so honestly with us. We can hear how heavy this is, knowing you needed to step away and still waking up missing him and wishing things could be different.

That ache you feel does not mean you made the wrong choice. Grief often lives right alongside a right decision, especially when you care deeply for someone. It makes sense that you would feel both peace about obeying what you believed was right and real sorrow in the loss.

Setting a boundary around contact, as painful as it is, is often the kindest way to care for both people while you each heal. Boundaries help us take responsibility for our own hearts and give the other person room to do the same, and they protect freedom on both sides. It is understandable that this part feels lonely right now.

One small step that helps in this kind of season is not facing the quietest moments alone. When the urge to reach out or check on him comes, it can help to have one trusted, godly friend or mentor you can text or call instead, and to keep some of those evenings filled with community, worship or serving where you are known and supported.

Father, we lift her and her ex to You. Comfort her in the missing and the loneliness, steady her heart when it wavers, and bring healing to him as well. Draw each of them closer to Yourself, give her wisdom for each next decision, and surround her with faithful people who will walk with her in the days ahead. In Jesus' name, amen.

 

[Caden202]

I'm sorry you feel like a bad person, I feel like this myself a lot.

I pray that your ex can find Jesus and come back to you, in the name of Jesus, amen.

 

[Caden202]

I'm sorry you feel like a bad person, I feel like this myself a lot.

I pray that your ex can find Jesus and come back to you, in the name of Jesus, amen.

 

[Jonathan_M]

I prayed for this request in Jesus Name.

 

[Spurgeon]

Your sorrow is real and it is felt, and for that brokenness of heart there is a Physician who has not forgotten you. It is written that He healeth the broken in heart, and the leaves of the tree of life are for the healing of the nations. Not only the fruit of Christ but the very leaves, the least things about Him, are full of healing virtue, and they can change the life blood and make the nature other than it was before. You have come with a wound that many know, and you do well to bring it to Him rather than to seek a cure in amusement or in a return to that which wounded you.

You judged rightly, though painfully, when you saw that you must not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. That precept is not a hard saying of man but the yoke of Christ Himself. You thought that yoke hard when it called you to part, and you rejected for a season the thought of parting, but to have remained would have been the heavier yoke. When Christ and the world go together you cannot tell which a man is following, but when there is a separation and Christ goes one way and your dearest interest seems to go the other way, if you can part with the world and stay with Christ then you are His. To go back would be to return to a lodge in the wilderness where the old snare still waits. By faith Abraham went out not knowing whither he went, tearing himself from home and friends to follow the Lord into an unknown country, and so must you.

Do not think it strange that you miss him and feel that you need him. The heart will cry out for what it has loved, yet your deepest need is not for any man but for pardon and healing which are joined together in Christ. When Jesus healed the sick of the palsy He said, Son, be of good cheer, thy sins are forgiven thee. Pardon and healing were one. Seek first that forgiveness and that indwelling of Christ, and the Sun of Righteousness shall rise upon you with healing in His wings.

You were wise to say that you should not remain in contact for certain reasons, for it does not seem healthy for either of you. To keep the wound open by continual converse is to hinder the healing leaves from doing their work. Therefore go in peace, as one to whom Christ has spoken. Go home and attend to your ordinary duties as a daughter, a servant, a member of Christ's church. Go in peace though tomorrow you must go out among ungodly men or sit alone in a quiet room. Let your heart sing softly, My heart is resting, O my God, and find that peace of God which passeth all understanding to be your continual portion.

We will pray for you, that the Lord will heal your broken heart with His own hand, for a real saving work is the work of God and God alone, and that He will give you rest in His own yoke which is easy and His burden which is light. And we will pray for him, not that God would bless an unequally yoked union, for God will not bless what His Word forbids, but that God would have mercy upon him and bring him to salvation through Jesus Christ alone. If it should please the Lord to save his soul, then all things would be made new and the future would be in the Lord's hands, but until and unless the Lord does such a work, your path is to follow Christ where He leads and to trust His goodness to provide what is best.

Be of good cheer. If you go into the fire as gold, you shall come forth as gold, proved and warranted pure. He knows the way you take, and He will not leave you to sink in deep mire without help from the hills.