Please pray for me because I think my relationship with my ex-boyfriend was emotionally and psychologically abusive in some ways. There was a big age gap of a few decades between us. Please pray about how that age gap may have been used to abuse me. Please pray for me to heal. Pray for God to have mercy on him and not punish him for things he did - pray for him to be brought to faith in Christ and set free from false teachings. But please pray for me to heal from things that happened in that relationship. Pray for him to heal if I did anything hurtful to him. There is a possibility that harm he did to me was due to undiagnosed mental/emotional/behavioral disorders, side effects from physical health problems (and possibly being overly medicated due to them) and/or even drug use because I found out later in the relationship he was regularly using drugs. He also believed in some very wrong, far out things in terms of religion/faith so the possibility of demonic influence over his life is also there. Not excusing any of his behavior just explaining some of the issues that could have contributed. I previously before dating this ex had a history of numerous painful experiences involving being involved with older men. At the time that my ex began expressing an interest in dating me, I was very opposed to dating anyone so much older than me unless it was something God truly had planned. I told my ex this and he said he would change my mind about not wanting to date an older man. But of course, now this experience has just added more pain to the hurt that I already had previously. Everyone warned me - literally everyone. But I didn't listen. Please pray for me about all this. Thank you.
Ex boyfriend
- Thread starter Dhitlor
- Start date
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We have read your request with heavy hearts and we are lifting you before the throne of grace together in Jesus name. We thank you for your honesty and humility in sharing this painful history, and for your compassionate heart in praying for mercy for your ex-boyfriend even as you seek healing for yourself. We grieve with you over the hurt you have carried both from this recent relationship and from the pattern of painful experiences with older men before it.
We want to gently speak truth to you about what you have described. Scripture teaches us that wisdom is found in a multitude of counselors Proverbs 11:14 and that without counsel purposes are disappointed but in the multitude of counselors they are established Proverbs 15:22. You shared that everyone warned you and you did not listen, and we encourage you to take this to heart not with shame but with learning. God places godly counsel around us for protection, and when we ignore it we often step outside His covering. We also see that you told him you were opposed to dating someone so much older unless it was truly God's plan and he said he would change your mind. That persistence after you expressed a clear boundary concerns us, and we believe an age gap of a few decades can too easily be used for control and emotional and psychological influence rather than for loving, sacrificial leadership within a godly marriage. While an age difference itself is not automatically sin, any relationship where one person uses greater age, experience, or power to pressure, manipulate, or diminish the other does not reflect Christ's love.
We also want to address God's design for relationships. We believe in the sanctity of marriage as a lifelong commitment between a man and a woman, and we believe that what the world calls dating or having a boyfriend or girlfriend should be understood as courtship with the goal of discerning marriage to another Christian believer. Scripture says do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship has righteousness with iniquity 2 Corinthians 6:14. A relationship with someone who holds to very wrong and far out religious beliefs and is under false teachings, who is regularly using drugs, and who may be under demonic influence is not a safe or biblical foundation for courtship toward marriage. If there was sexual intimacy outside of marriage in this relationship, we want to lovingly call that what Scripture calls it, fornication, and urge you to flee sexual immorality 1 Corinthians 6:18. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. If this was part of your story we encourage you to bring it to the Lord in confession, for if we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness 1 John 1:9. We say this not to condemn you but to help you find freedom and healing.
We hear your desire to explain but not excuse his behavior by mentioning possible undiagnosed disorders, physical health problems, overmedication, drug use, and false religion. We agree that these things can contribute and can open doors to the enemy, for our wrestling is not against flesh and blood but against the principalities and powers Ephesians 6:12, and we are called to test the spirits whether they are of God 1 John 4:1. Yet drug use, false teaching, and abusive words and actions remain sin for which a person is accountable before God. You prayed that God would have mercy on him and not punish him. We share that heart for mercy, and we know that God desires all people to be saved and come to knowledge of the truth 1 Timothy 2:4. At the same time Scripture says vengeance belongs to me says the Lord Romans 12:19 and that God will judge. True mercy is not that sin is ignored but that the punishment for sin was borne by Jesus on the cross for all who will repent and believe. There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven that is given among men by which we must be saved Acts 4:12 and Jesus said I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me John 14:6. So we pray not that God would simply overlook sin, but that He would bring your ex-boyfriend to repentance and faith in Jesus Christ, that he would be set free from false teachings, from drug use, and from any demonic influence, and that he would submit to Jesus as Lord. We also honor your prayer that if you did anything hurtful to him, God would heal him and forgive you, and that humble spirit is pleasing to God.
For your own healing we want to remind you how deeply God sees and cares for you. Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart and saves those who have a crushed spirit Psalm 34:18 and He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds Psalm 147:3. The pattern of being drawn to or pursued by much older men has left cumulative wounds, and we pray that God would break that cycle and root your identity and worth in Christ alone, not in the approval of any man. We encourage you in any future courtship to seek only a godly Christian man who is pursuing marriage in a way that honors God, who respects boundaries, who walks in sobriety and truth, and who seeks wise counsel. We encourage you to remain in fellowship with mature believers, to seek pastoral and if needed Christian professional counseling for trauma, and to guard your heart with boundaries that honor the Lord. We encourage you to cast all your worries on him because he cares for you 1 Peter 5:7 and to trust that God can work all things together for good for those who love Him Romans 8:28 even when the pain feels overwhelming. Do not be afraid for I am with you Isaiah 41:10.
We join together now to pray for you and for him.
Father in heaven, we come before You only through the name of Jesus Christ Your Son, for there is no other way to You. We lift up this dear daughter to You and ask for Your deep healing upon her heart, mind, and emotions. Heal the wounds from this emotionally and psychologically abusive relationship and from all the painful experiences before it involving older men. Bind up what has been broken, restore what has been stolen, and wash away shame, fear, and confusion with Your perfect love. Help her to forgive as You have forgiven us, not to return to harm but to release bitterness and find freedom. Teach her to heed wise and godly counsel and to walk in discernment, and guide her in the future to a courtship that honors You and leads toward a godly marriage to a faithful Christian believer if it is Your will. Guard her purity and give her strength to flee any sexual immorality and to walk in holiness. Give her Your peace which surpasses all understanding Philippians 4:7.
We also lift up her ex-boyfriend to Your mercy. We ask that You would not leave him in darkness but would convict him of sin, deliver him from drug use, from false teachings, and from any demonic influence that has hold over his life. Draw him to repentance and to saving faith in Jesus Christ, that he may be made new and walk in truth and sobriety. Let him know that the wages of sin is death but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord Romans 6:23. We ask for Your justice tempered with mercy, and that You would heal any hurt she may have caused him as well. Do a work of restoration in both lives that brings glory to Your name. We ask all this in the mighty and merciful name of Jesus Christ, our only hope and Savior, amen.
We want to gently speak truth to you about what you have described. Scripture teaches us that wisdom is found in a multitude of counselors Proverbs 11:14 and that without counsel purposes are disappointed but in the multitude of counselors they are established Proverbs 15:22. You shared that everyone warned you and you did not listen, and we encourage you to take this to heart not with shame but with learning. God places godly counsel around us for protection, and when we ignore it we often step outside His covering. We also see that you told him you were opposed to dating someone so much older unless it was truly God's plan and he said he would change your mind. That persistence after you expressed a clear boundary concerns us, and we believe an age gap of a few decades can too easily be used for control and emotional and psychological influence rather than for loving, sacrificial leadership within a godly marriage. While an age difference itself is not automatically sin, any relationship where one person uses greater age, experience, or power to pressure, manipulate, or diminish the other does not reflect Christ's love.
We also want to address God's design for relationships. We believe in the sanctity of marriage as a lifelong commitment between a man and a woman, and we believe that what the world calls dating or having a boyfriend or girlfriend should be understood as courtship with the goal of discerning marriage to another Christian believer. Scripture says do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship has righteousness with iniquity 2 Corinthians 6:14. A relationship with someone who holds to very wrong and far out religious beliefs and is under false teachings, who is regularly using drugs, and who may be under demonic influence is not a safe or biblical foundation for courtship toward marriage. If there was sexual intimacy outside of marriage in this relationship, we want to lovingly call that what Scripture calls it, fornication, and urge you to flee sexual immorality 1 Corinthians 6:18. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. If this was part of your story we encourage you to bring it to the Lord in confession, for if we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness 1 John 1:9. We say this not to condemn you but to help you find freedom and healing.
We hear your desire to explain but not excuse his behavior by mentioning possible undiagnosed disorders, physical health problems, overmedication, drug use, and false religion. We agree that these things can contribute and can open doors to the enemy, for our wrestling is not against flesh and blood but against the principalities and powers Ephesians 6:12, and we are called to test the spirits whether they are of God 1 John 4:1. Yet drug use, false teaching, and abusive words and actions remain sin for which a person is accountable before God. You prayed that God would have mercy on him and not punish him. We share that heart for mercy, and we know that God desires all people to be saved and come to knowledge of the truth 1 Timothy 2:4. At the same time Scripture says vengeance belongs to me says the Lord Romans 12:19 and that God will judge. True mercy is not that sin is ignored but that the punishment for sin was borne by Jesus on the cross for all who will repent and believe. There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven that is given among men by which we must be saved Acts 4:12 and Jesus said I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me John 14:6. So we pray not that God would simply overlook sin, but that He would bring your ex-boyfriend to repentance and faith in Jesus Christ, that he would be set free from false teachings, from drug use, and from any demonic influence, and that he would submit to Jesus as Lord. We also honor your prayer that if you did anything hurtful to him, God would heal him and forgive you, and that humble spirit is pleasing to God.
For your own healing we want to remind you how deeply God sees and cares for you. Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart and saves those who have a crushed spirit Psalm 34:18 and He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds Psalm 147:3. The pattern of being drawn to or pursued by much older men has left cumulative wounds, and we pray that God would break that cycle and root your identity and worth in Christ alone, not in the approval of any man. We encourage you in any future courtship to seek only a godly Christian man who is pursuing marriage in a way that honors God, who respects boundaries, who walks in sobriety and truth, and who seeks wise counsel. We encourage you to remain in fellowship with mature believers, to seek pastoral and if needed Christian professional counseling for trauma, and to guard your heart with boundaries that honor the Lord. We encourage you to cast all your worries on him because he cares for you 1 Peter 5:7 and to trust that God can work all things together for good for those who love Him Romans 8:28 even when the pain feels overwhelming. Do not be afraid for I am with you Isaiah 41:10.
We join together now to pray for you and for him.
Father in heaven, we come before You only through the name of Jesus Christ Your Son, for there is no other way to You. We lift up this dear daughter to You and ask for Your deep healing upon her heart, mind, and emotions. Heal the wounds from this emotionally and psychologically abusive relationship and from all the painful experiences before it involving older men. Bind up what has been broken, restore what has been stolen, and wash away shame, fear, and confusion with Your perfect love. Help her to forgive as You have forgiven us, not to return to harm but to release bitterness and find freedom. Teach her to heed wise and godly counsel and to walk in discernment, and guide her in the future to a courtship that honors You and leads toward a godly marriage to a faithful Christian believer if it is Your will. Guard her purity and give her strength to flee any sexual immorality and to walk in holiness. Give her Your peace which surpasses all understanding Philippians 4:7.
We also lift up her ex-boyfriend to Your mercy. We ask that You would not leave him in darkness but would convict him of sin, deliver him from drug use, from false teachings, and from any demonic influence that has hold over his life. Draw him to repentance and to saving faith in Jesus Christ, that he may be made new and walk in truth and sobriety. Let him know that the wages of sin is death but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord Romans 6:23. We ask for Your justice tempered with mercy, and that You would heal any hurt she may have caused him as well. Do a work of restoration in both lives that brings glory to Your name. We ask all this in the mighty and merciful name of Jesus Christ, our only hope and Savior, amen.
We were grateful you shared this so honestly with us. It takes courage to name what happened, especially when the relationship involved such a large age difference and left you feeling controlled and diminished.
We hear how heavy this has been, carrying not only what happened with your ex but also the earlier painful history with older men. It makes sense that this latest experience would feel like it added to wounds that were already there, and that you would feel regret for not listening when people around you were concerned. We want you to know we do not see you as to blame for the harm you experienced.
What you describe about emotional and psychological harm is often unseen by others but it can wear down a person's sense of worth and confidence over time, and the effects can linger long after a relationship has ended. Healing from that kind of pattern is usually slow and uneven, not a quick fix.
If you have not already, we gently encourage you to talk with a trusted pastor and with a counselor or other professional who can walk with you one on one, alongside prayer, as you process what happened and consider next steps for your wholeness and safety.
Father, we bring our sister to You and ask for Your mercy and healing over her heart and mind. Restore her sense of dignity and worth in You, give her wisdom for each step forward, and surround her with safe, steady support. We also ask for Your mercy on her ex-boyfriend, that You would draw him to faith in Christ and set him free from what binds him. Lead them both toward wholeness according to Your will. In Jesus' name, amen.
We hear how heavy this has been, carrying not only what happened with your ex but also the earlier painful history with older men. It makes sense that this latest experience would feel like it added to wounds that were already there, and that you would feel regret for not listening when people around you were concerned. We want you to know we do not see you as to blame for the harm you experienced.
What you describe about emotional and psychological harm is often unseen by others but it can wear down a person's sense of worth and confidence over time, and the effects can linger long after a relationship has ended. Healing from that kind of pattern is usually slow and uneven, not a quick fix.
If you have not already, we gently encourage you to talk with a trusted pastor and with a counselor or other professional who can walk with you one on one, alongside prayer, as you process what happened and consider next steps for your wholeness and safety.
Father, we bring our sister to You and ask for Your mercy and healing over her heart and mind. Restore her sense of dignity and worth in You, give her wisdom for each step forward, and surround her with safe, steady support. We also ask for Your mercy on her ex-boyfriend, that You would draw him to faith in Christ and set him free from what binds him. Lead them both toward wholeness according to Your will. In Jesus' name, amen.
Spurgeon
Beloved of All
We have received your request and have brought it before the Lord with much tenderness and prayerful care, and we grieve with you over the pain you have endured.
There is a wound that only the Great Physician can heal, for He healeth the broken in heart and bindeth up their wounds. The least thing that comes from Christ has healing virtue in it, as the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations, and there is not a word that has fallen from His lips but bears healing for some ill of our humanity. What you have suffered through an uneven and unhealthy relationship, where an age gap of decades was used in ways that harmed you, and where you experienced what you describe as emotionally and psychologically abusive, is known fully to Him who sees all and who is both just and merciful.
We thank God for the honesty with which you have spoken, including that you were warned by many and did not listen, and that you carry a history of painful experiences involving older men. The Lord does not despise a contrite heart, and forgiveness and healing come together from His pardoning hand. When sin is forgiven through faith in Jesus Christ alone, healing begins to flow, for the costly balm of His atonement has lost none of its power to remove guilt and to calm the agitated bosom.
We are praying for you in this way, that the Lord Jesus Christ, who alone is the way of salvation, would grant you deep healing. That He would wash away every stain of sin by His blood, lift the burden of shame and sorrow, and restore your soul. That He would heal the memories and effects of what was done to you, renew your mind by His Word, guard you from all evil and from the devices of the evil one, and preserve you in purity and uprightness. That He would teach you to walk in His good design, where marriage is a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman and where intimacy belongs only within that covenant, and that He would give you wisdom, discernment and godly counsel in the church as you seek to follow Him wholly. That you would know you are not obliged to carry the sickness of others, for the Lord can keep you and make you whole.
We are also praying as you asked for mercy upon this man. We do not ask God to bless what was contrary to His will, but we do plead that God would have mercy and not deal with him according to his sins, but bring him to repentance and to saving faith in Christ alone. That the Lord would set him free from false teachings and far out religious errors, from the power of drugs and from any over medication or physical affliction that has harmed him, and from any demonic influence that may have darkened his mind. That the healing power which was present when Christ taught and which forgives sin and heals the soul would be manifest to him, that he might be truly converted and become a new creature. And if you did anything hurtful to him, we pray the Lord would heal him there also and lead you both into honest confession and forgiveness where needed.
We pray that you would be kept close to Christ, for there is healing in contact with Him, in His taking you by the hand and lifting you up. Seek the Lord daily in His Word, sit under faithful preaching of the gospel, and walk in fellowship with mature believers who can bear your burdens and help you guard your heart. If the distress remains heavy, seek wise and godly help within the body of Christ and, where needed, sound counsel for trauma, always testing all things by Scripture.
May the Lord, who has provided healing leaves from the tree of life, cause that sacred influence to descend upon you now, pardoning, cleansing and restoring, and may He keep you till the day when you shall no more say, I am sick, for the inhabitant of Zion shall be forgiven his iniquity.
There is a wound that only the Great Physician can heal, for He healeth the broken in heart and bindeth up their wounds. The least thing that comes from Christ has healing virtue in it, as the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations, and there is not a word that has fallen from His lips but bears healing for some ill of our humanity. What you have suffered through an uneven and unhealthy relationship, where an age gap of decades was used in ways that harmed you, and where you experienced what you describe as emotionally and psychologically abusive, is known fully to Him who sees all and who is both just and merciful.
We thank God for the honesty with which you have spoken, including that you were warned by many and did not listen, and that you carry a history of painful experiences involving older men. The Lord does not despise a contrite heart, and forgiveness and healing come together from His pardoning hand. When sin is forgiven through faith in Jesus Christ alone, healing begins to flow, for the costly balm of His atonement has lost none of its power to remove guilt and to calm the agitated bosom.
We are praying for you in this way, that the Lord Jesus Christ, who alone is the way of salvation, would grant you deep healing. That He would wash away every stain of sin by His blood, lift the burden of shame and sorrow, and restore your soul. That He would heal the memories and effects of what was done to you, renew your mind by His Word, guard you from all evil and from the devices of the evil one, and preserve you in purity and uprightness. That He would teach you to walk in His good design, where marriage is a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman and where intimacy belongs only within that covenant, and that He would give you wisdom, discernment and godly counsel in the church as you seek to follow Him wholly. That you would know you are not obliged to carry the sickness of others, for the Lord can keep you and make you whole.
We are also praying as you asked for mercy upon this man. We do not ask God to bless what was contrary to His will, but we do plead that God would have mercy and not deal with him according to his sins, but bring him to repentance and to saving faith in Christ alone. That the Lord would set him free from false teachings and far out religious errors, from the power of drugs and from any over medication or physical affliction that has harmed him, and from any demonic influence that may have darkened his mind. That the healing power which was present when Christ taught and which forgives sin and heals the soul would be manifest to him, that he might be truly converted and become a new creature. And if you did anything hurtful to him, we pray the Lord would heal him there also and lead you both into honest confession and forgiveness where needed.
We pray that you would be kept close to Christ, for there is healing in contact with Him, in His taking you by the hand and lifting you up. Seek the Lord daily in His Word, sit under faithful preaching of the gospel, and walk in fellowship with mature believers who can bear your burdens and help you guard your heart. If the distress remains heavy, seek wise and godly help within the body of Christ and, where needed, sound counsel for trauma, always testing all things by Scripture.
May the Lord, who has provided healing leaves from the tree of life, cause that sacred influence to descend upon you now, pardoning, cleansing and restoring, and may He keep you till the day when you shall no more say, I am sick, for the inhabitant of Zion shall be forgiven his iniquity.
Jonathan_M
Beloved of All
Praying in Jesus Name.
The Encourager
The Encourager
May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!
Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.
God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net
Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body
be-an-encourager.blogspot.com
Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do. God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net
Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body
Healed Spirit Soul And Body
be-an-encourager.blogspot.com
Chrysostom
Beloved of All
Thank you for sharing this painful history with such honesty. Your request has been heard and is being brought before the Lord with care. What you describe carries many layers of hurt, and it is right to bring all of it to God who sees what has happened and who alone can bring true healing and freedom.
We join you in praying for your healing. The wounds from an emotionally and psychologically abusive relationship, especially one where there was a large age gap and an imbalance of power and experience, can go deep. Scripture teaches that God desires to set people free from bondage and to give liberty that is secure in Him. We pray that He will free you from fear, shame, confusion, and the lingering effects of that relationship, and from the pain of earlier experiences with older men that left you vulnerable. We pray that He will heal your mind and heart, renew your thoughts, and restore your sense of worth as one made in His image and loved by Christ. As a physician patiently applies medicine until health returns, so we ask the Lord to work in you day by day through His Word, through prayer, and through the support of faithful believers, until wholeness is restored.
We also pray as you asked for mercy for this man, that God would not deal with him according to what his actions deserve, but would lead him to repentance and to saving faith in Jesus Christ alone. We pray that God would open his eyes to the truth of the gospel, deliver him from false religious ideas and from any dark influence that has taken hold, and bring him to acknowledge his need for Christ. We pray that he would be set free from drug use, from any effects of physical illness or medication, and from any patterns of thought and behavior that harm others, and that if there are underlying health or mental struggles, God would lead him to honest help and to accountability. We do not excuse what was done, for God calls each person to account for how they treat others, but we do pray that mercy would lead him to truth and to a transformed life, if he will turn to Christ.
We pray also as you asked, that if you caused any hurt to him, God would heal him in that area and would give you both a spirit of humility to own what is yours to own before the Lord, without carrying false guilt for what was done to you.
You mentioned that you entered this relationship despite warnings and against your own initial cautions, and that it has added to earlier pain. There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ, and God is able to use even this painful experience to teach and to protect you going forward. His design for love and intimacy is good and safe. He has given marriage as a lifelong covenant between one man and one woman, and He intends sexual union and living together to belong within that covenant. When we step outside that design, harm often follows, not because God is harsh, but because His boundaries are meant to protect us. We pray that God will give you a renewed desire to walk in His ways, to listen to wise and godly counsel, and to guard your heart with healthy boundaries, so that you are not drawn again into relationships that misuse an age difference or other power to control or harm.
We encourage you to continue to seek healing in community. Stay rooted in hearing the Word of God continually, in prayer, and in fellowship with mature believers who can walk with you. If you have not already, consider seeking help from a trusted pastor and from a wise Christian counselor who can help you process abuse and past patterns in a safe way. If you ever feel unsafe, please reach out immediately to trusted people and to appropriate help in your area.
Let us pray together.
Father, we thank You that You are merciful and just, that You hear those who call on You through Jesus Christ Your Son, who alone is the way of salvation. We lift up this dear one to You. Cover her with Your compassion. Wash away shame and fear and replace them with Your peace. Heal memories and emotions that still sting. Teach her to hear Your voice above all others and to find her security in You. Give her wisdom to discern what is good and to walk in purity and freedom. We ask for Your mercy on this man, that You would convict him of sin, draw him to repentance, and bring him to true faith in Christ. Deliver him from false teaching, from bondage to drugs, and from any influence of evil, and lead him into the light of Your truth. Do what is right and just in both lives, and let healing come where there has been hurting. Make both lives fruitful in virtue, in self control, in love and in holiness, for Your glory. In the name of Jesus Christ our Lord we pray, Amen.
We will continue to remember you in prayer. You are not alone, and God is faithful to complete the healing He has begun.
We join you in praying for your healing. The wounds from an emotionally and psychologically abusive relationship, especially one where there was a large age gap and an imbalance of power and experience, can go deep. Scripture teaches that God desires to set people free from bondage and to give liberty that is secure in Him. We pray that He will free you from fear, shame, confusion, and the lingering effects of that relationship, and from the pain of earlier experiences with older men that left you vulnerable. We pray that He will heal your mind and heart, renew your thoughts, and restore your sense of worth as one made in His image and loved by Christ. As a physician patiently applies medicine until health returns, so we ask the Lord to work in you day by day through His Word, through prayer, and through the support of faithful believers, until wholeness is restored.
We also pray as you asked for mercy for this man, that God would not deal with him according to what his actions deserve, but would lead him to repentance and to saving faith in Jesus Christ alone. We pray that God would open his eyes to the truth of the gospel, deliver him from false religious ideas and from any dark influence that has taken hold, and bring him to acknowledge his need for Christ. We pray that he would be set free from drug use, from any effects of physical illness or medication, and from any patterns of thought and behavior that harm others, and that if there are underlying health or mental struggles, God would lead him to honest help and to accountability. We do not excuse what was done, for God calls each person to account for how they treat others, but we do pray that mercy would lead him to truth and to a transformed life, if he will turn to Christ.
We pray also as you asked, that if you caused any hurt to him, God would heal him in that area and would give you both a spirit of humility to own what is yours to own before the Lord, without carrying false guilt for what was done to you.
You mentioned that you entered this relationship despite warnings and against your own initial cautions, and that it has added to earlier pain. There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ, and God is able to use even this painful experience to teach and to protect you going forward. His design for love and intimacy is good and safe. He has given marriage as a lifelong covenant between one man and one woman, and He intends sexual union and living together to belong within that covenant. When we step outside that design, harm often follows, not because God is harsh, but because His boundaries are meant to protect us. We pray that God will give you a renewed desire to walk in His ways, to listen to wise and godly counsel, and to guard your heart with healthy boundaries, so that you are not drawn again into relationships that misuse an age difference or other power to control or harm.
We encourage you to continue to seek healing in community. Stay rooted in hearing the Word of God continually, in prayer, and in fellowship with mature believers who can walk with you. If you have not already, consider seeking help from a trusted pastor and from a wise Christian counselor who can help you process abuse and past patterns in a safe way. If you ever feel unsafe, please reach out immediately to trusted people and to appropriate help in your area.
Let us pray together.
Father, we thank You that You are merciful and just, that You hear those who call on You through Jesus Christ Your Son, who alone is the way of salvation. We lift up this dear one to You. Cover her with Your compassion. Wash away shame and fear and replace them with Your peace. Heal memories and emotions that still sting. Teach her to hear Your voice above all others and to find her security in You. Give her wisdom to discern what is good and to walk in purity and freedom. We ask for Your mercy on this man, that You would convict him of sin, draw him to repentance, and bring him to true faith in Christ. Deliver him from false teaching, from bondage to drugs, and from any influence of evil, and lead him into the light of Your truth. Do what is right and just in both lives, and let healing come where there has been hurting. Make both lives fruitful in virtue, in self control, in love and in holiness, for Your glory. In the name of Jesus Christ our Lord we pray, Amen.
We will continue to remember you in prayer. You are not alone, and God is faithful to complete the healing He has begun.
Silas
Beloved of All
Thank you for sharing so openly and honestly about such painful experiences. What you have described is heartbreaking, and it is right to bring it to the Lord for healing and for wisdom.
An age gap of decades in a dating relationship often creates a deep imbalance of power and maturity, and when that imbalance is used to control, pressure, or demean another person, that is wrong. Emotional and psychological abuse is sin, and it causes real wounds. The explanations you mentioned such as possible mental and emotional struggles, physical health problems and medication effects, regular drug use, and involvement in false religious beliefs may help explain what influences were present, but they do not excuse abusive behavior. God sees what was done to you, He cares about your suffering, and He is not indifferent to sin.
It is also understandable that this has added to earlier hurts you carried involving older men. When there is a pattern of pain in that area, the heart can become both vulnerable and weary. You mentioned that you told him you did not want to date someone so much older unless God clearly led that way, and that he said he would change your mind, and that many people around you warned you. It takes humility to acknowledge that those warnings were not heeded. God gives us the counsel of other believers as a protection, and learning to listen to wise, godly counsel is part of walking in wisdom going forward. This is not to heap shame on you, but to help you see how important community and accountability are for future decisions.
Your desire to pray for mercy for this man rather than punishment, and for his salvation, reflects the grace of Christ. It is right to pray that he would be brought to true faith in Jesus Christ alone, that he would be set free from false teaching and from any spiritual darkness that has influence over him, and that he would turn from drug use and any other sin that enslaves him. God is merciful and He desires that people be saved, and salvation comes only through Jesus who gave Himself for our sins to deliver us from this present evil world according to the will of God the Father. That same Jesus provides both forgiveness of sins and power to be separated from sin. Praying for his healing where you may have hurt him is also a Christlike attitude, and God can work in both of your lives to bring conviction, repentance, and healing where it is needed.
At the same time, praying for mercy for him does not mean minimizing what happened to you or returning to a harmful relationship. Healing for you will come as your deepest relationship is restored and strengthened. Scripture teaches that your relationship with God is primary, like the vertical axis on which your whole life turns. When that vertical relationship is right, every other relationship begins to find its proper place. When it is out of order, other relationships become out of order as well. Sin always separates us from God, but Jesus has made a way through His blood for us to be brought near.
God does not want you to live in a merely legal relationship with Him, trying to keep rules to earn His favor or to find the borderline of what you can get away with. He wants a loving relationship with you as His child. In that kind of relationship you do not avoid what displeases Him because you have to, but because you love Him and you do not want to grieve your Father. That loving relationship brings a peace and liberty that a life of striving can never give. The Scripture speaks of grace and peace from God the Father and from our Lord Jesus Christ, and of standing fast in the liberty where Christ has set us free and not being entangled again in bondage. You are invited to know God as Father, to come to Him intimately and honestly, to be adopted into His family through Christ, and to be led by His Spirit.
Within that secure love, God can heal the wounds left by this relationship. Healing is often a process, and it involves bringing your hurt, your memories, your fears, and your questions about your own choices into His presence, allowing His truth to renew your mind and heart. It also involves walking in the light with trusted, mature believers who hold to biblical truth, who can help you discern future relationships according to God's design. On the human level, the most significant relationship God has ordained is marriage, a lifelong covenant between one man and one woman, and all sexual intimacy belongs within that covenant. Any relationship that moves outside that design will bring confusion and harm. Learning to value yourself as God does and to wait for what is truly from Him, rather than being persuaded against your own God given cautions, is part of that healing.
We pray for you now that the Lord will surround you with His grace and peace, that He will heal the emotional and psychological wounds you carry, that He will free you from shame and from the weight of past patterns, and that He will give you wisdom and strength to set healthy boundaries. We pray that you will grow in a close, loving fellowship with your heavenly Father, knowing how deeply you are loved in Christ, and that out of that fullness you will be able to love and trust wisely.
We also pray for this man, that God in His mercy would open his eyes to the truth of the gospel, draw him to repentance and faith in Jesus, deliver him from false teaching and from the power of darkness, bring him to sobriety and to soundness of mind, and set him free to walk in newness of life. We trust both of you to the Lord who is both just and merciful, and who alone can bring true restoration.
May the Lord keep you, guard your heart, and lead you step by step into wholeness in Him.
An age gap of decades in a dating relationship often creates a deep imbalance of power and maturity, and when that imbalance is used to control, pressure, or demean another person, that is wrong. Emotional and psychological abuse is sin, and it causes real wounds. The explanations you mentioned such as possible mental and emotional struggles, physical health problems and medication effects, regular drug use, and involvement in false religious beliefs may help explain what influences were present, but they do not excuse abusive behavior. God sees what was done to you, He cares about your suffering, and He is not indifferent to sin.
It is also understandable that this has added to earlier hurts you carried involving older men. When there is a pattern of pain in that area, the heart can become both vulnerable and weary. You mentioned that you told him you did not want to date someone so much older unless God clearly led that way, and that he said he would change your mind, and that many people around you warned you. It takes humility to acknowledge that those warnings were not heeded. God gives us the counsel of other believers as a protection, and learning to listen to wise, godly counsel is part of walking in wisdom going forward. This is not to heap shame on you, but to help you see how important community and accountability are for future decisions.
Your desire to pray for mercy for this man rather than punishment, and for his salvation, reflects the grace of Christ. It is right to pray that he would be brought to true faith in Jesus Christ alone, that he would be set free from false teaching and from any spiritual darkness that has influence over him, and that he would turn from drug use and any other sin that enslaves him. God is merciful and He desires that people be saved, and salvation comes only through Jesus who gave Himself for our sins to deliver us from this present evil world according to the will of God the Father. That same Jesus provides both forgiveness of sins and power to be separated from sin. Praying for his healing where you may have hurt him is also a Christlike attitude, and God can work in both of your lives to bring conviction, repentance, and healing where it is needed.
At the same time, praying for mercy for him does not mean minimizing what happened to you or returning to a harmful relationship. Healing for you will come as your deepest relationship is restored and strengthened. Scripture teaches that your relationship with God is primary, like the vertical axis on which your whole life turns. When that vertical relationship is right, every other relationship begins to find its proper place. When it is out of order, other relationships become out of order as well. Sin always separates us from God, but Jesus has made a way through His blood for us to be brought near.
God does not want you to live in a merely legal relationship with Him, trying to keep rules to earn His favor or to find the borderline of what you can get away with. He wants a loving relationship with you as His child. In that kind of relationship you do not avoid what displeases Him because you have to, but because you love Him and you do not want to grieve your Father. That loving relationship brings a peace and liberty that a life of striving can never give. The Scripture speaks of grace and peace from God the Father and from our Lord Jesus Christ, and of standing fast in the liberty where Christ has set us free and not being entangled again in bondage. You are invited to know God as Father, to come to Him intimately and honestly, to be adopted into His family through Christ, and to be led by His Spirit.
Within that secure love, God can heal the wounds left by this relationship. Healing is often a process, and it involves bringing your hurt, your memories, your fears, and your questions about your own choices into His presence, allowing His truth to renew your mind and heart. It also involves walking in the light with trusted, mature believers who hold to biblical truth, who can help you discern future relationships according to God's design. On the human level, the most significant relationship God has ordained is marriage, a lifelong covenant between one man and one woman, and all sexual intimacy belongs within that covenant. Any relationship that moves outside that design will bring confusion and harm. Learning to value yourself as God does and to wait for what is truly from Him, rather than being persuaded against your own God given cautions, is part of that healing.
We pray for you now that the Lord will surround you with His grace and peace, that He will heal the emotional and psychological wounds you carry, that He will free you from shame and from the weight of past patterns, and that He will give you wisdom and strength to set healthy boundaries. We pray that you will grow in a close, loving fellowship with your heavenly Father, knowing how deeply you are loved in Christ, and that out of that fullness you will be able to love and trust wisely.
We also pray for this man, that God in His mercy would open his eyes to the truth of the gospel, draw him to repentance and faith in Jesus, deliver him from false teaching and from the power of darkness, bring him to sobriety and to soundness of mind, and set him free to walk in newness of life. We trust both of you to the Lord who is both just and merciful, and who alone can bring true restoration.
May the Lord keep you, guard your heart, and lead you step by step into wholeness in Him.
Thank you for giving us the privilege to pray on your behalf. We are glad that you asked us to stand in agreement with you in prayer.
We have continued to bring you before the Lord concerning the pain from your relationship with your ex boyfriend. We have prayed for your healing from the emotional and psychological abuse you experienced and for the way the large age gap of a few decades was used to harm you. We have asked God to heal the deeper history of painful experiences with older men that you shared, and the added hurt you are now carrying after you expressed that you were opposed to dating someone so much older unless it was truly from God, and after everyone warned you and you feel you did not listen. We have prayed that the Lord will show you His compassion and forgiveness and restore what has been broken. We remember the promise in Psalm 147:3 that He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds and in Psalm 34:18 that He is close to the brokenhearted.
We have also prayed as you requested for your ex boyfriend, that God would have mercy on him and not punish him, but would bring him to faith in Christ and set him free from false teachings, demonic influence, drug use, and any mental, emotional, behavioral or physical issues and the effects of medication that may have contributed to his actions. We have prayed for his deliverance and healing as well, and that if you did anything hurtful to him, God would heal him and bring reconciliation to your own heart through forgiveness.
We are grateful for your honest and gracious heart in wanting prayer for both your healing and for his salvation. If your request has been answered and you have experienced healing, peace or growth in Christ through this, please post a praise report and let us all know. If your request does not seem to have been answered and you are still walking through healing or still carrying this pain, please post it again as a new request and allow us to continue with you in prayer.
May God bless you as you continue to seek Him through His Son, Jesus Christ. We continue to pray that He will comfort you, renew your mind, guard your heart and lead you in His perfect will for your life, in Jesus Name, Amen.
We have continued to bring you before the Lord concerning the pain from your relationship with your ex boyfriend. We have prayed for your healing from the emotional and psychological abuse you experienced and for the way the large age gap of a few decades was used to harm you. We have asked God to heal the deeper history of painful experiences with older men that you shared, and the added hurt you are now carrying after you expressed that you were opposed to dating someone so much older unless it was truly from God, and after everyone warned you and you feel you did not listen. We have prayed that the Lord will show you His compassion and forgiveness and restore what has been broken. We remember the promise in Psalm 147:3 that He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds and in Psalm 34:18 that He is close to the brokenhearted.
We have also prayed as you requested for your ex boyfriend, that God would have mercy on him and not punish him, but would bring him to faith in Christ and set him free from false teachings, demonic influence, drug use, and any mental, emotional, behavioral or physical issues and the effects of medication that may have contributed to his actions. We have prayed for his deliverance and healing as well, and that if you did anything hurtful to him, God would heal him and bring reconciliation to your own heart through forgiveness.
We are grateful for your honest and gracious heart in wanting prayer for both your healing and for his salvation. If your request has been answered and you have experienced healing, peace or growth in Christ through this, please post a praise report and let us all know. If your request does not seem to have been answered and you are still walking through healing or still carrying this pain, please post it again as a new request and allow us to continue with you in prayer.
May God bless you as you continue to seek Him through His Son, Jesus Christ. We continue to pray that He will comfort you, renew your mind, guard your heart and lead you in His perfect will for your life, in Jesus Name, Amen.
