Ex boyfriend

Dhitlor

Good and Faithful Servant
Please pray for me because I think my relationship with my ex-boyfriend was emotionally and psychologically abusive in some ways. There was a big age gap of a few decades between us. Please pray about how that age gap may have been used to abuse me. Please pray for me to heal. Pray for God to have mercy on him and not punish him for things he did - pray for him to be brought to faith in Christ and set free from false teachings. But please pray for me to heal from things that happened in that relationship. Pray for him to heal if I did anything hurtful to him. There is a possibility that harm he did to me was due to undiagnosed mental/emotional/behavioral disorders, side effects from physical health problems (and possibly being overly medicated due to them) and/or even drug use because I found out later in the relationship he was regularly using drugs. He also believed in some very wrong, far out things in terms of religion/faith so the possibility of demonic influence over his life is also there. Not excusing any of his behavior just explaining some of the issues that could have contributed. I previously before dating this ex had a history of numerous painful experiences involving being involved with older men. At the time that my ex began expressing an interest in dating me, I was very opposed to dating anyone so much older than me unless it was something God truly had planned. I told my ex this and he said he would change my mind about not wanting to date an older man. But of course, now this experience has just added more pain to the hurt that I already had previously. Everyone warned me - literally everyone. But I didn't listen. Please pray for me about all this. Thank you.
 
We hear the pain and weight in what you have shared and we lift you up together before the Lord in Jesus' name, asking for His healing, wisdom, and mercy to cover every part of this story.

We grieve with you over the hurt you experienced. The Lord does not take lightly emotional and psychological abuse, especially when a position of age, experience, or influence is used to control or manipulate someone younger. His heart is near to the brokenhearted. As it is written, He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds Psalm 147:3 and Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit Psalm 34:18. We thank you for your honesty about the decades wide age gap and how it may have been used to gain power over you. That kind of imbalance can easily become exploitation and is not reflective of the sacrificial, protective love God calls men to show. We rebuke any abuse of power or trust in a courtship, for love does not seek to control or deceive but to honor and protect.

We also want to lovingly speak truth about the pattern you described. You shared a history of painful experiences involving older men, and that you were very opposed to dating someone so much older unless God truly had planned it, yet you entered this relationship even though literally everyone warned you. God gives us counsel and community for our protection. Where there is no wise guidance, the nation falls, but in the multitude of counselors there is victory Proverbs 11:14 and Without consultation, plans are frustrated, but with many counselors they are established Proverbs 15:22. We encourage you not to live in condemnation, for there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus Romans 8:1, but to receive this as an invitation to learn to heed godly counsel, to guard your heart with all diligence Proverbs 4:23, and to bring future decisions about courtship before the Lord and mature believers who will tell you the truth in love.

We also must address what God says about relationships between a man and a woman. In Scripture, a dating relationship is courtship with the goal of discerning marriage to a fellow believer, and marriage is a lifelong covenant between one man and one woman. We are not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers 2 Corinthians 6:14 and we are called to pursue purity. The body is not for sexual immorality, but for the Lord 1 Corinthians 6:13 and we are told to flee sexual immorality 1 Corinthians 6:18. If there was any sexual intimacy outside of marriage in this relationship or in past relationships with older men, God calls that fornication and calls us to turn from it, confess it, and receive His forgiveness. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness 1 John 1:9. His desire for you is not shame but wholeness, and a future marriage, if He wills it, that honors Him from the beginning.

We commend your compassionate heart in asking for mercy for this man and not wanting punishment to fall on him, and in asking prayer for his healing if you hurt him. That humility reflects Christ. At the same time we must remember that God is both merciful and just. We do not pray for sin to be ignored, but for repentance that leads to mercy. He desires all people to be saved and come to full knowledge of the truth 1 Timothy 2:4, and there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved Acts 4:12. Jesus said, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me John 14:6. So we pray not that God simply overlooks what was done, but that this man would be brought to genuine faith in Christ, to repentance, to be set free from false teachings, from drug use which defiles the temple of the Holy Spirit 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, and from any demonic influence. For our wrestling is not against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against the powers, against the world's rulers of the darkness of this age, and against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places Ephesians 6:12. False religion and mind altering drugs can open doors to deception, and only Jesus can set a person free. We agree with you that mental or emotional struggles, physical health problems, overmedication, and drug use do not excuse abusive behavior, though they may help explain patterns that need deep repentance and healing.

We also pray for your complete healing from all that happened in this relationship and from the accumulated pain of earlier experiences with older men. God can redeem what has been broken and restore what has been wounded. He promises I will restore health to you, and I will heal you of your wounds, says Yahweh Jeremiah 30:17. We encourage you to walk this healing journey in the light, confessing your struggles to trusted, godly people, for the prayer of the righteous is powerful James 5:16, and to seek wise Christian counseling and pastoral support, not isolating yourself. This is also a time to establish firm boundaries, including maintaining no private contact with this ex-boyfriend if interaction risks further manipulation or harm, and to allow godly older women and mentors to speak into your life Titus 2:3-5.

We pray together now.

Father in heaven, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ, Your Son, who alone gives us access to Your throne of grace. We lift this dear one to You and ask for Your deep healing over her heart, mind, and memories. Wash away shame, fear, confusion, and the lies spoken over her in that relationship. Renew her mind Romans 12:2 and help her to see herself as You see her, beloved, chosen, and cleansed by the blood of Jesus. Teach her to hear Your voice above all others, to heed wise counsel, and to guard her heart. If there has been any sexual sin, we ask for Your conviction and Your complete forgiveness as she confesses it to You, and we ask You to restore purity and hope for a future godly marriage if it is Your will. Break any lingering soul ties, trauma bonds, or patterns that would draw her back toward older men who would exploit her, and lead her into healthy community where she is protected and discipled.

Lord, we also lift this man to You. Have mercy on him according to Your loving kindness. Do not leave him in false teaching, drug use, or demonic deception, but open his eyes to the truth of the gospel. Bring him to repentance and faith in Jesus Christ, deliver him, and set him free. Where there is sickness, mental torment, or addiction, we ask for Your healing and for him to seek the help he needs. We pray that justice and mercy would meet at the cross, and that he would take responsibility for any harm he caused and turn from it. If she caused him hurt, we ask You to heal him as well and to give both of them the grace to forgive as You have forgiven us.

We ask You to redeem this painful chapter and work it for good Romans 8:28, making her stronger in discernment, rooted in Your Word, and whole in Christ. Surround her with protection, with counselors who love the truth, and with the peace that surpasses understanding. We ask all this in the mighty and merciful name of Jesus Christ, our only hope and Savior. Amen.
 
We're grateful you reached out and shared this so honestly. What you went through sounds deeply painful and confusing, especially with the large age gap and the history of hurt with older men before this relationship. It makes sense you would want prayer for real healing, and also that you would still be sorting through what happened.

What many people don't realize is that emotional and psychological harm can leave a lasting mark even after the relationship has ended, because it wears down a person's sense of worth, safety and confidence. It's understandable you are still untangling what was said and done, how the age difference played a part, and what role other struggles like health problems, medication, drug use or his beliefs may have had. You don't have to have every answer to begin healing, and you don't have to carry this alone.

We hear the regret you feel about not listening when others warned you. Please try to be gentle with yourself as you process that. Regret is heavy, but it does not put you outside God's care.

A steady next step that often helps is to talk one on one with a safe, trusted counselor or pastor who understands abusive dynamics, someone who can listen to your story privately and help you sort through next steps at your own pace. If low mood, anxiety or intrusive thoughts continue, please consider reaching out to a professional counselor as well, alongside prayer.

We are praying for you.

Jesus, we bring her to You and ask for Your healing and protection over her heart and mind. Surround her with wise, safe support and give her peace and clarity day by day. Have mercy on her former boyfriend and draw him to know You truly and walk in freedom, and bring healing to him where he needs it too. Give her gentleness toward herself as she heals. In Jesus' name, amen.
 
it's good that you forgave him and prayed for him to change! that's the right thing to do! i pray that he comes to Jesus and changes his heart, amen
 
Your sorrow has been carried before the Lord with prayer, and we thank you for entrusting it to the care of the church.

There is a balm that can heal the wounds you describe, and there is a Physician who can reach them. It is written, He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds. The soldier who retires from the battlefield knows he must find a hand to extricate the shot and ointments to heal his wounds, how much more does the soul wounded by sin and by the unkindness of others need the hand of Christ. We very speedily care for bodily diseases, but the wounds of the heart, the agitation of the bosom, the furrow upon the brow caused by grief and by harsh treatment, these also He is able to calm and to heal.

You have spoken plainly of pain in a relationship marked by an age gap of decades and by words and actions that were emotionally and psychologically abusive. You have spoken also of warnings not heeded and of a history of painful entanglements with older men before this. We do not affirm what was contrary to the good and holy order of God, for His way is that intimacy and the sharing of a home belong within the lifelong covenant of marriage between one man and one woman, and that our bodies and affections are to be kept in purity and uprightness. Yet we do not meet your confession with condemnation, but with the gospel which is not a power to destroy but to save. Christ brings fire from Heaven not to consume, but that men might be saved from the wrath to come.

We have prayed for your healing. The Scripture says the leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations, and from this we learn that the least thing about Christ is healing. As the leaves fall from the trees, so sacred influence descends from our Lord Jesus in Heaven down to the sons of men, and even the least product of that blessed tree bears healing virtue. There is not a word that ever fell from His dear lips but what bears healing in it for some one or other of the thousand ills that have befallen our humanity. Even a broken text from His mouth is better than the best of others. This medicine is given and appointed for the very purpose of healing, and the costly balm of His atonement has lost none of its power. He healed all that had need of healing while He sojourned here, and that same power is present still to remove the guilt of sin and to breathe into the soul a peace with God which passes all understanding.

We have prayed also as you asked, that God would have mercy upon this man and not deal with him according to punishment alone, but bring him to faith in Christ alone for salvation and set him free from false teachings. We have asked the Lord to deliver him from deceitful errors and sins and from all the devices of the evil one, and to grant him repentance and a new heart. You mentioned the possibility of disorders, physical infirmities, over medication, regular drug use, and religious error that may have darkened his mind, and that there may have been demonic influence. We do not excuse sin by these explanations, and neither do you, but we do pray that the Lord who preserves His people from all evil would preserve the soul and would show that same preserving mercy to him, that he might be washed and made clean. As the leper came saying, If Thou wilt, Thou canst make me clean, and immediately the leprosy departed from him when Christ touched him, so Christ can make sin to depart the moment He touches the worst of sinners.

We have prayed for you, that where you have been hurt, you may know first forgiveness and then healing. O you who are now sick with sorrow, ask to be forgiven and healing will come from the pardoning hand. All the eternal penal consequences are gone from the forgiven man, for him there can be no condemnation. And with pardon, the Lord gives a new principle within, putting His fear in the heart so that His people shall not depart from Him, and keeping them from the pestilence that walks in darkness. In answer to the prayer, Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the Evil One, He keeps His own in purity and uprightness, and that Evil One touches them not.

Do not go blundering out to serve before you have been healed. He must begin with you before you can begin with Him. He took her by the hand and lifted her up, and there was contact established. There is healing in that glorious doctrine of His incarnation, that He has come near to us. Let Him take you by the hand. Bring your wounds daily to Him in the Word and in prayer, and under faithful preaching where Christ is taught, for the healing power was conspicuously present when Christ was teaching, and He still links healing with teaching. Seek the solid truth of God from any faithful ministry, carry it home, eat it on the spot, and let it dwell in you. Walk also in the light of godly counsel in your local church, with mature believers who can help you discern His will and guard your steps, that you may be preserved from returning to old patterns that have brought such pain.

We pray now for you: O Lord, look upon this Thy daughter who has been bruised and wounded. Forgive her sins as she confesses them, and wash her in the blood of Christ. Heal her broken heart and bind up her wounds. Let the least leaf from the tree of life fall upon her and restore her. Keep her from all evil and preserve her soul, and lead her in the way of holiness and peace. Have mercy upon the man of whom she has spoken, forgive him, bring him to know Jesus Christ as the only Saviour, deliver him from false doctrine and from every chain of sin and darkness, and grant him true repentance and new life if it be Thy will. Do for both as only Thou canst do, for Thou alone healest, and Thou alone savest. Amen.

May the Lord keep you near to Himself, and may you prove that His least word has healing in it for your deepest hurt.
 
May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

🙏Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net

Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body
 

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Please pray for me because I think my relationship with my ex-boyfriend was emotionally and psychologically abusive in some ways. There was a big age gap of a few decades between us. Please pray about how that age gap may have been used to abuse me. Please pray for me to heal. Pray for God to...
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Please pray for me because I think my relationship with my ex-boyfriend was emotionally and psychologically abusive in some ways. There was a big age gap of a few decades between us. Please pray about how that age gap may have been used to abuse me. Please pray for me to heal. Pray for God to...
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Please pray for me because I think my relationship with my ex-boyfriend was emotionally and psychologically abusive in some ways. There was a big age gap of a few decades between us. Please pray about how that age gap may have been used to abuse me. Please pray for me to heal. Pray for God to...
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