K
kristie
Guest
Everyone else out there in the world will tell you to give up. Even the best Christians who do not know His word will tell you that with good intentions. They do not know His word about it and they do not like seeing you in pain, so that is their first reaction to it all. They are good intentions but they are misleading you about God's word and will. Pastors even do that, the easy way out.
The Matthew passage that allows divorce for adultery is not original. It was someone's addition added to the text at an early stage (click here for more info). That is why the same passage in Mark and Luke do not have the exception:
One very good indication that you are straying out of Gods will is the separation you feel with God. When I found out the first time, I could not forgive and for weeks I felt like I was in a dark void and God was absent from me, I could not find Him, it was like He was not there. This void was horrible, to have a wall up between you and God is the most horrible feeling in the world, I know it well because I was where you are at now. I finally crawled on my face and cried out for Him to help me, that I could not find forgiveness in my heart, and I needed Him to help me find it because I could not bear being separated from Him. He instantly gave me that vision of the other woman’s mom brokenhearted and crying for her baby who was so lost and in sin. Instantly as well, all unforgiveness fell away from me and love flowed into me for this other woman and has been there ever since. I have never laid eyes on her again, but I have always known that if I ever do, I will walk up and hug her and tell her that Jesus loves her and so do I. When you ask God to help you, He goes all the way, only He could have put that in me. But I guess you have to wander around in that dark place without God long enough that it breaks you and you do cry out for that help, then He is swift to come to you and give it.
When we read the Scripture in Mark, Jesus said that Moses' law for divorce was merely a concession to human weakness. He did not consent to divorce. One should not even divorce for adultery -- it is against Gods will. But rather, one should pray for repentance and redemption of the adulterous spouse and let God heal the marriage:
I personally have had to deal with my stepping out of Gods will, and I did not have anyone to help me understand His will and word about divorce. In fact, I had well intentioned church leaders that led me the opposite direction straight to divorce court because they could not handle my pain and obviously were not standing on God's word themselves, were twisting it to soothe the situation. I now know in my heart of hearts that if I would have known then what I know now, about God, His will, His word, His way, I would have not went down the path I did, instead I would have stood and prayed with God, letting him fix the mess.
God did not bring you here for nothing, put you down smack dab into the middle of others for help and support. God knows what He is doing. You could not have stood for as long as you have now without God behind it, your flesh would not have handled it. So you need to stop listening to the doom and gloom sayers with their good intentions, because they do not have a clue what God is doing and has been doing, they only see pain and unforgiveness and are reacting to that, not to God. You need to just get with God and discuss it with Him, not them. What have you got to lose? Just keep on doing what you are doing, because the pain you are feeling is not going to magically go away just because you choose to stop standing, it will still be right there until you work through it with God, the unforgiveness as well. Quitting is not going to solve your problems within yourself with this. So just press on, and let God do what He wants to do. If you want to stay in Gods will and have Him guide you as to what to do, then you yourself do nothing. Just keep doing what you are doing and if Gods will is for you to stop, then He will bring it to a sure end for you. Again, you have nothing to lose if you let God.
I also want to note to you at this time that I have always felt in my spirit that God has you in this trial by fire to raise you up in Him. That there is a reason for this with you, and that is to bring you wisdom, faith and strength in God that you have not had before. He is taking you up levels with Him. Satan can only do to us what God allows, and God allows things like this so you can come to know Him better and serve Him better, then you can go forth and help others who He is bringing up. It is not all in vain, and what you gain from it, when you finally get there, far exceeds what you went through to get it. Does not seem like it now, but when you get to that place with God, you will look back and be grateful in many ways for what you went through. Trials transform us in Christ, and that is what He is doing in you, but you have to hang on and let Him do it. It is the school of suffering. The good news is that you cannot fail, it is a open book test, and it can be retaken again and again until you pass. That is the bad news though, pass the first time because you do not want to take it again and again. Walk through it this time and be past it altogether.
This is the best that I can advise you. I would stop talking to anyone about it and what has happened, is to happen, except to other standers who know where you are and have the same leading by God. Others will not only trip you up, but they will leave you and talk about your situation with others. So if you have others who do not understand Gods will, and why you stand, they are just unhappy because they see you in pain, they then go saying things to others, like your spouse is a cheater and a bum, or whatever. This is why we should stay with like-minded people who support us in what God wants us to do and avoid those who could worsen our situation by their words and thoughts on the matter. To those people you just remain silent and tell them that all is well with your soul. Then you rebuke and bind all this evil by word thought or deed by all persons known and unknown in the Name of Jesus, daily.
Anyway, just get with God about it and God only, He is the only one that can help you and really tell you which way to go and to take you that way.
Hugs and God bless you,
Kristie
The Matthew passage that allows divorce for adultery is not original. It was someone's addition added to the text at an early stage (click here for more info). That is why the same passage in Mark and Luke do not have the exception:
It is best to accept this and the other passages at face value, such as:
If there were an adultery or other exception to remarry while the previous spouse is still alive, Paul or Jesus, or someone would have stated it. Instead, they repeatedly say only one who is widowed can re-marry.
One very good indication that you are straying out of Gods will is the separation you feel with God. When I found out the first time, I could not forgive and for weeks I felt like I was in a dark void and God was absent from me, I could not find Him, it was like He was not there. This void was horrible, to have a wall up between you and God is the most horrible feeling in the world, I know it well because I was where you are at now. I finally crawled on my face and cried out for Him to help me, that I could not find forgiveness in my heart, and I needed Him to help me find it because I could not bear being separated from Him. He instantly gave me that vision of the other woman’s mom brokenhearted and crying for her baby who was so lost and in sin. Instantly as well, all unforgiveness fell away from me and love flowed into me for this other woman and has been there ever since. I have never laid eyes on her again, but I have always known that if I ever do, I will walk up and hug her and tell her that Jesus loves her and so do I. When you ask God to help you, He goes all the way, only He could have put that in me. But I guess you have to wander around in that dark place without God long enough that it breaks you and you do cry out for that help, then He is swift to come to you and give it.
When we read the Scripture in Mark, Jesus said that Moses' law for divorce was merely a concession to human weakness. He did not consent to divorce. One should not even divorce for adultery -- it is against Gods will. But rather, one should pray for repentance and redemption of the adulterous spouse and let God heal the marriage:
We know your spouse's state with God as being in adultery, but we also need to consider your state if you choose to divorce because your spouse committed adultery. If you choose to do such and being young you go on and remarry yourself, which you would, that new marriage is going to be troubled, you can count on that. The reason most second marriages fail is because we reap what we sow. When we go against the word of God, especially when we know and understand the word, but we do it anyway because of our flesh, which bitterness, unforgiveness, resentfulness, even the pain we feel because of the betrayal is just our flesh, and these things are what drive us to going against the word of God, then we step out of His perfect will for us. When we do this, then we bring a reaping for doing so. God would forgive you and if you remarried it may even work out in the end, but you will reap a harvest in that marriage for walking away from the first one, and my self as a personal testimony and for many others that I have spoken with who have done the same, the second time around can be twice as bad as the first, but spiritual law is that when we reap, we reap two fold. I do not want that for you either. As painful as this is, you could set yourself up for twice as painful, just ask me, I know. God will help you the next time around also, but I do not advise anyone to go there, from the heart. It is better to just not sin against Gods word at all, and let Him fix things the first time around, stay out of that sin. If we walk with God and avoid stepping out of His will, we then avoid messier situations that take that much more to clean up.
I personally have had to deal with my stepping out of Gods will, and I did not have anyone to help me understand His will and word about divorce. In fact, I had well intentioned church leaders that led me the opposite direction straight to divorce court because they could not handle my pain and obviously were not standing on God's word themselves, were twisting it to soothe the situation. I now know in my heart of hearts that if I would have known then what I know now, about God, His will, His word, His way, I would have not went down the path I did, instead I would have stood and prayed with God, letting him fix the mess.
God did not bring you here for nothing, put you down smack dab into the middle of others for help and support. God knows what He is doing. You could not have stood for as long as you have now without God behind it, your flesh would not have handled it. So you need to stop listening to the doom and gloom sayers with their good intentions, because they do not have a clue what God is doing and has been doing, they only see pain and unforgiveness and are reacting to that, not to God. You need to just get with God and discuss it with Him, not them. What have you got to lose? Just keep on doing what you are doing, because the pain you are feeling is not going to magically go away just because you choose to stop standing, it will still be right there until you work through it with God, the unforgiveness as well. Quitting is not going to solve your problems within yourself with this. So just press on, and let God do what He wants to do. If you want to stay in Gods will and have Him guide you as to what to do, then you yourself do nothing. Just keep doing what you are doing and if Gods will is for you to stop, then He will bring it to a sure end for you. Again, you have nothing to lose if you let God.
I also want to note to you at this time that I have always felt in my spirit that God has you in this trial by fire to raise you up in Him. That there is a reason for this with you, and that is to bring you wisdom, faith and strength in God that you have not had before. He is taking you up levels with Him. Satan can only do to us what God allows, and God allows things like this so you can come to know Him better and serve Him better, then you can go forth and help others who He is bringing up. It is not all in vain, and what you gain from it, when you finally get there, far exceeds what you went through to get it. Does not seem like it now, but when you get to that place with God, you will look back and be grateful in many ways for what you went through. Trials transform us in Christ, and that is what He is doing in you, but you have to hang on and let Him do it. It is the school of suffering. The good news is that you cannot fail, it is a open book test, and it can be retaken again and again until you pass. That is the bad news though, pass the first time because you do not want to take it again and again. Walk through it this time and be past it altogether.
This is the best that I can advise you. I would stop talking to anyone about it and what has happened, is to happen, except to other standers who know where you are and have the same leading by God. Others will not only trip you up, but they will leave you and talk about your situation with others. So if you have others who do not understand Gods will, and why you stand, they are just unhappy because they see you in pain, they then go saying things to others, like your spouse is a cheater and a bum, or whatever. This is why we should stay with like-minded people who support us in what God wants us to do and avoid those who could worsen our situation by their words and thoughts on the matter. To those people you just remain silent and tell them that all is well with your soul. Then you rebuke and bind all this evil by word thought or deed by all persons known and unknown in the Name of Jesus, daily.
Anyway, just get with God about it and God only, He is the only one that can help you and really tell you which way to go and to take you that way.
Hugs and God bless you,
Kristie
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