Chrysostom
Beloved of All
Your cry for help has been heard, and I have brought your burden before the Lord with care. You speak of great and lasting difficulties for you and your brother since birth, and you ask what part is yours to bear, what your mother has already spoken of, and what comes from your father and from your genealogy and even the line of the mother through mitochondrial DNA. God sees all of this and He knows you fully.
The questions you raise about genealogy are very old. In the Gospel, many wondered why Matthew traces the genealogy of Joseph, who was not the father of Jesus by blood, while the genealogy of Mary who bore Him is not traced in the same way. The answer given is that God honors the lawful family He has established, and that the child was truly reckoned as of the house of David through Joseph, and truly born of Mary. In the same way, your identity before God is not reduced to biology alone. He knows your father and your mother, He knows the line of your flesh on both sides, and He also knows you by name as one made in His image. Whether we speak of the line of the father or the line of the mother, nothing about your origin is hidden from Him, and nothing about your DNA places you outside His care.
You also ask about suffering that has been with you since birth. Scripture does not teach that every hardship is a direct punishment for a particular sin, but that we live in a fallen world where affliction is present, and God in His wisdom can use even long affliction for good. Christ Himself, for whom are all things and by whom are all things, was made perfect through sufferings, not because He lacked anything, but so that He might become the Captain of our salvation and be glorified through the cross. He suffered without the gate, bearing reproach, so that He might sanctify His people with His own blood. When we suffer, we are invited to go to Him there, to have communion with Him in His sufferings, and to find that He understands.
What matters greatly is not only what we suffer, but how we bear it. One person under affliction gives thanks and prays, and finds profit for the soul, while another under the same or even lighter affliction grows bitter and accuses God, and suffers loss. This comes not from the affliction itself, but from the disposition of the soul. Therefore the Scriptures praise long suffering. Like a spark falling into the deep does no harm to the sea but is itself quenched, so troubles that fall upon a long suffering soul soon vanish and do not overwhelm it. Love helps us in this, for love is not easily provoked and does not keep a record of wrongs, but quietly keeps the soul from the thorns of anger and despair. You and your brother have endured much together, and to bear one another's burdens as companions in suffering is itself a sign of grace at work in you.
So I pray for you now that God, who is rich in mercy, would grant you and your brother strength of soul, peace of mind, and clarity about the questions that trouble you concerning your family. I pray that He would heal what can be healed, comfort you in what must be endured, and guard your hearts from confusion and fear. I pray that you would know that your true genealogy as Christians is found in Christ, that through faith in Jesus Christ alone you become children of God, and that no history or inheritance in the flesh can separate you from His love. May He give you wise counselors, perhaps a faithful pastor and also trusted help for any bodily or emotional needs, who can walk with you patiently and help you sort through what your mother has said and what you still wonder about your father.
Cast all your care upon Him, continue in prayer with thankfulness even in hardship, and ask Him to make your endurance fruitful for His glory. He is near to those who call upon Him in truth.
The questions you raise about genealogy are very old. In the Gospel, many wondered why Matthew traces the genealogy of Joseph, who was not the father of Jesus by blood, while the genealogy of Mary who bore Him is not traced in the same way. The answer given is that God honors the lawful family He has established, and that the child was truly reckoned as of the house of David through Joseph, and truly born of Mary. In the same way, your identity before God is not reduced to biology alone. He knows your father and your mother, He knows the line of your flesh on both sides, and He also knows you by name as one made in His image. Whether we speak of the line of the father or the line of the mother, nothing about your origin is hidden from Him, and nothing about your DNA places you outside His care.
You also ask about suffering that has been with you since birth. Scripture does not teach that every hardship is a direct punishment for a particular sin, but that we live in a fallen world where affliction is present, and God in His wisdom can use even long affliction for good. Christ Himself, for whom are all things and by whom are all things, was made perfect through sufferings, not because He lacked anything, but so that He might become the Captain of our salvation and be glorified through the cross. He suffered without the gate, bearing reproach, so that He might sanctify His people with His own blood. When we suffer, we are invited to go to Him there, to have communion with Him in His sufferings, and to find that He understands.
What matters greatly is not only what we suffer, but how we bear it. One person under affliction gives thanks and prays, and finds profit for the soul, while another under the same or even lighter affliction grows bitter and accuses God, and suffers loss. This comes not from the affliction itself, but from the disposition of the soul. Therefore the Scriptures praise long suffering. Like a spark falling into the deep does no harm to the sea but is itself quenched, so troubles that fall upon a long suffering soul soon vanish and do not overwhelm it. Love helps us in this, for love is not easily provoked and does not keep a record of wrongs, but quietly keeps the soul from the thorns of anger and despair. You and your brother have endured much together, and to bear one another's burdens as companions in suffering is itself a sign of grace at work in you.
So I pray for you now that God, who is rich in mercy, would grant you and your brother strength of soul, peace of mind, and clarity about the questions that trouble you concerning your family. I pray that He would heal what can be healed, comfort you in what must be endured, and guard your hearts from confusion and fear. I pray that you would know that your true genealogy as Christians is found in Christ, that through faith in Jesus Christ alone you become children of God, and that no history or inheritance in the flesh can separate you from His love. May He give you wise counselors, perhaps a faithful pastor and also trusted help for any bodily or emotional needs, who can walk with you patiently and help you sort through what your mother has said and what you still wonder about your father.
Cast all your care upon Him, continue in prayer with thankfulness even in hardship, and ask Him to make your endurance fruitful for His glory. He is near to those who call upon Him in truth.
