Am now 29yrs old,ever since I turned 25yrs I have been going through spiritual trials and confusion about wether God exists,I have been raised in a christian family,went to church but stopped going since nothing makes sense anymore, I have friends all over the world and once in a conversation I asked a couple of my friends if they believed in God, the response I got was "I don't believe in things I don't see" I was shocked and amazed how someone would say something like that,but after a while I looked at all the hapiness and wealth in there lives and I wondered, what if it were true! why is it that I believe in God yet I know try to believe that He is there, and His son died for our sins, but why is it that I cannot get what my heart desires, I was once told that God gave us free will, ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find and knock and the door shall be answered, well I have tried that but end up getting more confused than before. I am supposed to believe that God created the world, created us from mud, split the red sea into two for the isralites to cross, Jesus walked on water, He rose the dead, gave sight to the blind and lots and lots of Miraculous deeds that happened in the Holy Bible, I am supposed to tell my problems how big my God is! and all those things that the believers I know tell me, but sincerely nothing happens, why is it that I was given free will yet I cannot have God answer my prayers regardless wether I kneel down to pray, shed tears or have faith, none of us can proof what happened in the bible is true! because none of us were there? some of the things are scientifically impossible yet asking God to do such small things never happens, I have clinged on to the Faith and the teachings I was taught in church "sunday school" but now as an adult I can't help but wonder is this really true! why would God make Job suffer just to proove a point to satan???? If I ask God for something am told am testing Him!!!!! if I pray for something it doesn't happen and am told it is not God's will?? then why was I given free will??? I ended up converting to islam then just stopped believing in religion, if I lie,fornicate or commit sins it takes only a day or week for me to get punished and I mean things just go from bad to worse, but if I repent and just try all I can to keep away from sin nothing happens, was once told that to God 1 day is like a thousand years???? does that even make sense? we are human beings and God knows that, last week I had those nights when I feel like am dying and I felt like I was in the deepest sleep and this evil spirits keep comming to me in my sleep and I end up not sleeping at all, I know by now you may think am probably mad? but believe me I have some wierd and scary dreams that I just end up thinking that God is punishing me for not believing in Him, look I see people in asia and lots of other places in the world who worship idols,yet there lives are remarkbly ok, I just don't know if am up to this anymore,and I am now afraid because of what is gonna happen to me for writting this and doubting Him, I just wish that I would believe and worship God because I want to, love Him and choose to, but not be scared of Him, or suffer for not doing so, and when I pray God answers and sincerely I will do anything and give everything to live according to His will,thanx folks for your time and any non-confusing responses out there,much appreciated,