We hear your heart, and we stand with you in seeking God’s will and wisdom in this painful season. First, we must address the situation with truth and love, as Scripture calls us to walk in righteousness even when emotions are raw. You have shared about a relationship that involves a man who is unmarried but has a child with a former partner. The Bible is clear that sexual intimacy outside of marriage is fornication (1 Corinthians 6:18-20), and while God is gracious and forgiving, we must not ignore the sin that has occurred. Repentance and turning away from sin is the path to healing and restoration in Christ.
The fact that this man has a child outside of marriage and has been in multiple relationships outside of God’s design for marriage is not aligned with Scripture. Marriage is a sacred covenant between one man and one woman (Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:4-6), and any relationship outside of that is not God’s best for His children. We must rebuke the patterns of sin that have led to this brokenness, not to condemn, but to call you and this man to a higher standard in Christ. The pain you feel now is a result of walking outside of God’s perfect plan, and we must acknowledge that truth before we can move forward in healing.
You asked if God permits this situation as part of His will. God does not ordain sin, but He allows us to experience the consequences of our choices so that we may turn back to Him (Galatians 6:7-8). His will is always for repentance, restoration, and holiness. Jeremiah 29:11 tells us, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says Yahweh, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope and a future.” God’s will for you is not confusion or heartbreak, but peace, clarity, and a future rooted in Him. However, we must align our lives with His Word to walk in that blessing.
We also notice that your request does not mention the name of Jesus Christ, and we must emphasize that it is only through Him that we have access to the Father (John 14:6). There is no other name by which we can be saved (Acts 4:12). If you have not yet surrendered your life to Jesus, we urge you to do so now. Confess your sins, believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, and you will be saved (Romans 10:9). Salvation is the first step to true healing and clarity.
Now, let us pray together for you:
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, the only name by which we can approach You. We lift up this dear sister to You, asking for Your mercy, grace, and healing to flood her heart. Lord, You see the pain and confusion she is experiencing, and we ask that You would bring clarity where there is doubt and peace where there is turmoil. Father, we confess the sin of fornication that has occurred in this situation, and we ask for Your forgiveness and cleansing. Wash her clean by the blood of Jesus and set her free from any guilt or shame (1 John 1:9).
Lord, we pray that You would reveal Your will for her life. Help her to seek You above all else, to find her identity in Christ alone, and to cling to You with all her heart. Give her the strength to let go of this relationship that does not align with Your Word and to trust You for her future. Father, we ask that You would heal her heart from the pain of this breakup and fill her with Your joy and hope. Surround her with godly counsel and friends who will encourage her in her walk with You.
We also pray for this man, Lord. Soften his heart to repentance and lead him to a place of surrender to You. If it is Your will, bring him to a godly marriage with a woman who loves You and will honor Your design for marriage. But above all, draw him to salvation in Jesus Christ if he does not already know You.
Father, we rebuke any spirit of confusion, bitterness, or unforgiveness in this situation. We declare that Your peace, which surpasses all understanding, will guard her heart and mind in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:7). Help her to forgive this man and to release him into Your hands, trusting You to work all things together for her good (Romans 8:28).
Lord, we ask that You would reveal Yourself to her in a powerful way. Show her Your love, Your faithfulness, and Your plans for her life. Help her to seek You first in all things and to find her satisfaction in You alone. We pray that she would grow in intimacy with You, studying Your Word and spending time in Your presence. May she become a woman after Your own heart, walking in holiness and obedience to Your will.
We thank You, Father, for hearing our prayer. We trust in Your goodness and Your perfect timing. May Your will be done in her life, and may she come to know You more deeply through this trial. In Jesus’ precious name, we pray. Amen.
Dear sister, we encourage you to seek God’s face above all else. Spend time in His Word, particularly in the Psalms, where you will find comfort and strength. Psalm 34:18 says, “Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit.” God sees your pain, and He is close to you. Draw near to Him, and He will draw near to you (James 4:8).
We also encourage you to surround yourself with a godly community—believers who will pray for you, hold you accountable, and speak truth into your life. Proverbs 13:20 says, “He who walks with wise men grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.” Seek out wise counsel from those who love the Lord and will guide you according to His Word.
As you search for your identity, remember that your true identity is found in Christ. You are a child of God, fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). You are chosen, holy, and dearly loved (Colossians 3:12). You are not defined by this relationship or its outcome, but by who you are in Jesus. Cling to Him, and He will never let you go.
Finally, we urge you to release this man into God’s hands. It is clear that he has expressed his desire to part ways, and while it is painful, you must respect his wishes and trust God to work in both of your lives. Do not pursue him or seek to rekindle this relationship, as it is not aligned with God’s design. Instead, pray for him from a distance, asking God to draw him to repentance and salvation.
God has a plan for your life, and it is a good plan. Trust Him to lead you into the future He has prepared for you. Jeremiah 29:13 says, “You shall seek me, and find me, when you search for me with all your heart.” Seek God with all your heart, and He will reveal Himself to you in ways you cannot imagine. You are not alone, and you are deeply loved by your Heavenly Father. Walk in His truth, and He will guide your steps.
