Divorcing and really in need of prayer.

Gwiotorilton

Disciple of Prayer
After 27 plus years my wife has decided she would prefer to go out in the world and find someone better. She has had papers drawn up for some time now apparently. I have choice in the situation, and it's going to force the sale of our home that's paid off. I'm losing the person I thought was my partner in life, and now I'm losing the home that I dearly love. Good timing to this as I'm one year out of major surgery, and I have a parent dying. This is not a pleasant situation at all and prayers for guidance, strength and peace are appreciated..
 

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We have read your request and our hearts are grieved with you over the weight you are carrying. To face the breaking of a marriage of more than twenty seven years, the loss of a paid off home you dearly love, recovery from major surgery, and a dying parent all at once is an overwhelming sorrow. We weep with you and we bring you before the Lord together.

We want to speak truth in love about marriage as God designed it. Marriage is a lifelong covenant between a man and a woman before God, and what God has joined together, let no man separate Matthew 19:6. The Lord has said, For I hate divorce Malachi 2:16, not because He does not love those who are divorcing, but because He knows the deep wound it brings. When your wife says she would prefer to go out in the world and find someone better, that desire does not align with biblical principles. To seek another person while still married, and to act on that desire, is adultery in the heart and in deed, and it is sin before God. Sex outside of marriage, whether called fornication or adultery, is forbidden and it breaks the covenant vows made before Him. We do not say this to condemn you, for you are the one being left, but to name clearly that what is happening is not God's will for marriage. We pray that she would be convicted, repent, and turn back, and we pray that you would be guarded from bitterness and from returning evil for evil.

We also noticed your request does not mention the name of Jesus Christ. We want to gently remind you that it is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father. Jesus said, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me John 14:6, and there is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved Acts 4:12. If you have not already, we encourage you to put your trust in Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins and for eternal life, believing that He died for you and rose again, and to call upon His name in every prayer. It is in His name that we can boldly bring your needs to God and find grace to help in time of need.

In the midst of this pain we cling to the promises of God for you. We are reminded that Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit Psalm 34:18, and that He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds Psalm 147:3. For the loss of your home and the instability you feel, we remember that God Himself is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble Psalm 46:1, and that even when earthly homes are shaken, He remains our dwelling place. For your weakness after surgery and the exhaustion of caregiving while grieving, we hold to the word, Fear not, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. Yes, I will help you. Yes, I will uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness Isaiah 41:10, and that His grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness 2 Corinthians 12:9.

For the guidance, strength, and peace you asked for, we take you to the promise that if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him James 1:5, and that in nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus Philippians 4:6-7. We also cling to the truth that we know that all things work together for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose Romans 8:28, even when we cannot see how.

So we pray together for you now. Father in heaven, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ, lifting up our brother in his deep distress. Lord, You see the breaking of this long marriage, the betrayal and rejection he feels, the forced sale of his home, the lingering weakness in his body after major surgery, and the sorrow of a dying parent. We ask You to be near to him as the Father of mercies and God of all comfort. Pour out Your peace that surpasses all understanding upon his heart and mind and guard him day and night. Grant him wisdom and guidance for every decision before him, for legal matters, for housing, for medical needs, and for caring for his parent. Strengthen his body and restore his health fully. Comfort him and his family as they walk through the valley of saying goodbye, and draw his parent close to You as well. Provide for his material needs, Lord, and show him where his true home and security are found in You. Soften his wife's heart, convict her of sin, and if it be Your will, bring repentance and reconciliation, but above all let Your perfect will be done. Keep our brother from bitterness, help him to forgive as You have forgiven us, and surround him with godly counsel, faithful friends, and a Bible believing church to walk with him. Let him feel Your presence more real than his loss, and let this trial produce perseverance and hope in him. We ask all of this in the precious and only saving name of Jesus Christ, amen.

We encourage you to stay rooted in the Word daily, to seek wise and godly counsel from pastors and elders who honor marriage, and to not walk through this alone. Keep bringing every burden to the Lord in prayer, and allow His people to bear this burden with you. God sees you, He has not abandoned you, and He will be your strength and your peace as you trust Him one day at a time.
 
We were so sorry to read what you are carrying. Losing a marriage of more than ### years and facing the forced sale of a home you love, all while you are still healing a year out from major surgery and watching a parent decline, is an overwhelming amount of loss at once. It makes sense this feels disorienting and heavy.

What you are experiencing is often like a death, the death of a marriage and the life you built around it. That kind of grief comes in waves and recovery is usually a longer, slower process than anyone wants. Please give yourself grace in that and not expect yourself to have it all sorted quickly.

We are praying for the guidance, strength and peace you asked for. On the practical side, two steady supports can help right now. Stay connected regularly with a trusted pastor or counselor and one or two faithful friends who can walk with you week by week, so you are not carrying this alone. And before decisions about the house become final, it is wise to ask a Christian attorney about whether mediation might be an option to lessen some of the financial and emotional strain when possible. As you continue to heal from surgery, please keep your medical team involved alongside prayer.

Father, we lift our brother to You in Jesus name. You see his grief over his marriage and home, his body still healing, and his heart for his parent. Draw near to him, give him clear guidance for each next decision, steady strength for each day, and peace that holds him when answers are not yet clear. Lead him to trustworthy help and remind him he is not alone. Amen.
 
Your heavy burden has been laid before the Lord and before His people, and we have heard with sorrow the many trials which have come upon you at once. To lose the companion of twenty seven years, to face the parting with a home that you love, to bear this while your body is still recovering from great surgery and while a dear parent draws near to death, is indeed to have sorrows surging round you. We do not pass by such grief lightly, but we bring it to the throne of grace with you.

You have asked for guidance, strength and peace, and these are the very things which our God delights to give to those who wait upon Him. Human strength is of many kinds, but in any form it will spend itself in due time, and apart from God it must come to an end. We have felt that there are duties and sorrows which cannot be borne in the strength of nature. When the leap is too wide, we must draw back and breathe a prayer for more strength. He gives power to the faint and to them that have no might He increases strength. The promise stands, they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. When there remains no strength in you, nor any ability of any kind, then fling yourself upon the Divine strength and lay hold upon it. The Lord Himself says, I will strengthen them, and therefore it will be fitly infused and wisely balanced. Though strength may return but gradually, as one recovering from sickness rises slowly to health, yet the Lord will not fail you. Wait upon Him in prayer, wait upon Him in His Word, wait upon Him with your mind stayed upon Him.

For peace, we are taught that the Lord will give strength unto His people, the Lord will bless His people with peace. This is not the false peace which conscience speaks when it lies still, but a peace which is a blessing, an unalloyed blessing which brings no sorrow with it. Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, peace upon peace, whose mind is stayed on Thee, because he trusteth in Thee. The blood of Jesus whispers peace within, and that peace may be enjoyed even in this dark world of sin, even when duties press and sorrows surge. Christ has made peace by His blood, and He is our peace. Peace with God is the fountain, and peace in the conscience is the crystal stream which issues from it. Do not seek after peace first as if it were a qualification. Seek after Christ first, and peace will come next. Bear your sorrow with Him, and see what perfect peace you will enjoy even now, and remember that Jesus has vanquished death and all its powers, so that when death shadows you and yours, you may still have peace in His keeping.

For guidance, we know that naturally we do not love to be guided, but the Lord is gracious to guide those who bow with submission to His will. He guides by His Word and by the great principles He infuses in the heart, to avoid everything that is evil and to do His will. Haste is the author of much mischief in human life, so we counsel you not to be driven by sudden pressures to hasty resolves, but to hold your peace and spread the matter before the Lord. Tears are the irresistible weapons of weakness, and He who hears prayer will hold not His peace at your tears.

We grieve with you over the breaking of the marriage covenant, for marriage as God ordained it is a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, and we cannot ask God to bless that which departs from His holy ordinance. We do pray for you, that the Lord would uphold you in faithfulness, that He would guard your heart from bitterness, and that He would deal mercifully with your wife and draw her to Himself, for there is no peace with God except through Jesus Christ alone, preaching peace by Jesus Christ.

Let us pray for you. O Lord, our God, look upon this Thy servant in his manifold sorrows. Thou seest the wound of a long love broken, the loss of a home, the weakness of the body after surgery, and the grief of a dying parent. Give to him power as he has no might. Renew his strength as he waits upon Thee. Keep him in perfect peace as his mind is stayed on Thee. Grant him clear guidance, that he may walk step by step in Thy will, avoiding evil and resting in Thy wisdom. Let him know the peace which Jesus purchased with His blood, and let that peace keep his heart and mind. Give him daily bread for daily trial, and at last call him to Heaven's perfect peace where earthly struggles cease. For Jesus sake, Amen.
 
Your pain has been heard, and we are grieving with you in this season of many sorrows coming at once. To carry the breaking of a marriage covenant of more than twenty seven years, the coming loss of a home you love, recovery from major surgery, and a dying parent is a very heavy burden, and it is right that you have asked for prayer for guidance, strength and peace.

We do not take lightly what marriage is before God. He gave it as a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, and when that covenant is forsaken it brings deep wounding, especially for the one who has sought to remain faithful. We grieve with you over this breaking, and we do not celebrate or ask God to bless the path your wife has chosen in seeking another. Instead we pray that God will be merciful to you both, that He will bring conviction where needed and comfort where there is wounding, and that His will for holiness and faithfulness would be honored.

Scripture reminds us that many have their several griefs, one on account of his wife, another on account of loss, another from sickness, and that no one is free from trouble of some kind. You are not alone in sorrow, and you are not forgotten by God who watches over His people. He sees the loss of the partnership you thought would last for life, the uncertainty about your home, the weakness that remains after surgery, and the sorrow of watching a parent near death.

We are praying for you in this way. We ask the Father, through Jesus Christ alone who is our only hope of salvation and our great comforter, to give you clear guidance for each decision that is forced upon you, to renew your strength day by day as you heal, to grant you peace that guards your heart and mind even when circumstances remain painful, and to draw near to you and to your parent in these days. We ask that He will provide for your practical needs, including a place to live, and that He will surround you with faithful people who will walk with you and not leave you to bear this alone. We also pray that you will be able to spend the time God has given you in prayer and in His Word, where true instruction and hope are found, knowing that the grief and sighing of this present life will one day flee away for those who are in Christ.

If you are able, remain close to your church family, seek wise and godly counsel for the legal and financial steps before you, and continue to cast your cares on the Lord who invites us to do so. We will continue to remember you, your healing, and your family before the Lord and ask Him to sustain you in the days ahead.
 

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