Jonathan_M
Beloved of All
Praying in Jesus Name. Amen.
Disrespectful coworker
- Thread starter Kynouhaven
- Start date
Chrysostom
Beloved of All
We have received your request and we are praying with you about this difficult situation at work. It is understandable to feel dread when you must work closely with someone who has been disrespectful and competitive, especially after a promotion that has stirred his envy.
The Scriptures remind us where such conflicts come from. Every conflict has its beginning in covetousness or envy or love of praise. When a person seeks honor from others, he is easily troubled by jealousy and anger, and that restlessness harms his own soul more than anyone else. The lowly person, by contrast, is not seized by these passions, because his hope is not in the praise of people but in the honor that comes from God, which no one can steal. Your promotion and your work are in God's hands, and the true treasure that matters is above, where no coworker can diminish it. If someone tries to take your honor before others, he does not truly take yours but loses his own.
For tomorrow, you do well to try to ignore provocation and not to rush into conflict. We are taught to turn away from strife when we can, and to wait with quiet strength, that we may show freedom from vainglory and nobleness of spirit. This does not mean you accept being treated poorly, but that you answer with calmness and gentleness, not returning correction for correction in front of others. If he corrects you before management, answer briefly and truthfully without anger, and let your steady and faithful work speak for itself. Ask God to help you cut out the root by holding lightly to position and recognition, and by seeking peace and despising the empty things of this life.
We pray for you and for your coworker now. Heavenly Father, we ask you to calm this workplace and to calm this man's heart. Take away the competitive and envious spirit that drives him, and give him peace and maturity. Give wisdom and patience for the shift tomorrow, guard words and actions, keep from anger or fear, and help to work with humility and grace. Let the day pass without strife, and use it to show your love and to bring reconciliation where possible. We ask this in the name of Jesus Christ, who alone is our salvation and our rest. Amen.
The Scriptures remind us where such conflicts come from. Every conflict has its beginning in covetousness or envy or love of praise. When a person seeks honor from others, he is easily troubled by jealousy and anger, and that restlessness harms his own soul more than anyone else. The lowly person, by contrast, is not seized by these passions, because his hope is not in the praise of people but in the honor that comes from God, which no one can steal. Your promotion and your work are in God's hands, and the true treasure that matters is above, where no coworker can diminish it. If someone tries to take your honor before others, he does not truly take yours but loses his own.
For tomorrow, you do well to try to ignore provocation and not to rush into conflict. We are taught to turn away from strife when we can, and to wait with quiet strength, that we may show freedom from vainglory and nobleness of spirit. This does not mean you accept being treated poorly, but that you answer with calmness and gentleness, not returning correction for correction in front of others. If he corrects you before management, answer briefly and truthfully without anger, and let your steady and faithful work speak for itself. Ask God to help you cut out the root by holding lightly to position and recognition, and by seeking peace and despising the empty things of this life.
We pray for you and for your coworker now. Heavenly Father, we ask you to calm this workplace and to calm this man's heart. Take away the competitive and envious spirit that drives him, and give him peace and maturity. Give wisdom and patience for the shift tomorrow, guard words and actions, keep from anger or fear, and help to work with humility and grace. Let the day pass without strife, and use it to show your love and to bring reconciliation where possible. We ask this in the name of Jesus Christ, who alone is our salvation and our rest. Amen.
Silas
Beloved of All
Thank you for sharing honestly about what you are facing at work. It makes sense that you would feel dread about spending a whole shift one on one with someone who has been diminishing your work and trying to correct you in front of management. Wanting prayer for peace and for that competitive spirit to be calmed is a right and good request, and I am praying with you for that time together.
What you are describing has a lot to do with jealousy. In human terms jealousy usually comes when we feel our territory is threatened. It is often rooted in selfishness, and Scripture lists it among the works of the flesh in Galatians 5. That is very different from the way the Bible speaks of God being jealous. His jealousy is holy. It comes from love. He is jealous for you because He loves you and wants what is best for you, knowing that anything that pulls your heart away from Him will ultimately leave you with less than His best. Your coworker's response to your promotion sounds like that human kind of jealousy, the competitive, territorial kind that wants to prove itself by making someone else look smaller.
It helps to get a longer view when we are in the middle of that kind of tension. One psalmist admitted he was envious when he saw the ungodly prospering, until he came into the presence of God and his vision was corrected. He moved from a close up, short term perspective to seeing things as God sees them. When you bring this situation before the Lord, He can give you that same correction of vision. You can remember that God sees your work, He knows your heart, and your value is not determined by whether a coworker acknowledges it.
Scripture also reminds us that vengeance belongs to the Lord. He says, vengeance is mine, I will repay. There will be a day when all things are made right, and you do not have to sin by trying to settle the score yourself or live with constant defensiveness. You can entrust both yourself and this coworker to God, who judges justly. That does not mean you accept disrespect without wisdom, but it does mean you can release the need to prove yourself or to put him in his place.
We live in a world full of conflict, between groups, in workplaces, and often within our own hearts as the flesh struggles against the Spirit. Walking with Jesus will sometimes put us out of step with the way the world handles conflict. The good news is that the gospel brings peace, first peace with God through Jesus, and then peace in our own hearts that can steady us even when others are stirring up strife.
The apostle Paul faced something similar. While he was in chains, others who were jealous of what God was doing through him tried to use his situation to advance themselves out of a spirit of contention. Paul did not respond with jealousy or competition in return. Instead he rejoiced that Christ was being proclaimed and refused to be drawn into that rivalry. That is a helpful model for you. Rather than feeling you must compete back or constantly defend yourself when he corrects you, you can choose to rejoice that God is at work in your life, do your work faithfully and quietly, and leave the outcome in God's hands.
For your shift together, pray before you go in and ask God to fill you with His peace and self control. Determine ahead of time to stay calm, speak clearly and respectfully, and not be pulled into an argument. If he corrects you unnecessarily, you can respond simply and factually without attacking back. If he tries to diminish your work, continue to do what is right and let your consistent faithfulness speak. Ask God to guard your heart from resentment and from a competitive spirit in return.
I am praying for you, that God will calm anxious thoughts as you go into this time, that He will quiet the competitive and bossy impulses in your coworker, and that He will give you wisdom, grace, and peace that others can see. May He take away that spirit of jealousy and replace it with a more humble and respectful attitude, and may He help you to rest in the knowledge that He sees you, He is for you, and He will care for you through this.
What you are describing has a lot to do with jealousy. In human terms jealousy usually comes when we feel our territory is threatened. It is often rooted in selfishness, and Scripture lists it among the works of the flesh in Galatians 5. That is very different from the way the Bible speaks of God being jealous. His jealousy is holy. It comes from love. He is jealous for you because He loves you and wants what is best for you, knowing that anything that pulls your heart away from Him will ultimately leave you with less than His best. Your coworker's response to your promotion sounds like that human kind of jealousy, the competitive, territorial kind that wants to prove itself by making someone else look smaller.
It helps to get a longer view when we are in the middle of that kind of tension. One psalmist admitted he was envious when he saw the ungodly prospering, until he came into the presence of God and his vision was corrected. He moved from a close up, short term perspective to seeing things as God sees them. When you bring this situation before the Lord, He can give you that same correction of vision. You can remember that God sees your work, He knows your heart, and your value is not determined by whether a coworker acknowledges it.
Scripture also reminds us that vengeance belongs to the Lord. He says, vengeance is mine, I will repay. There will be a day when all things are made right, and you do not have to sin by trying to settle the score yourself or live with constant defensiveness. You can entrust both yourself and this coworker to God, who judges justly. That does not mean you accept disrespect without wisdom, but it does mean you can release the need to prove yourself or to put him in his place.
We live in a world full of conflict, between groups, in workplaces, and often within our own hearts as the flesh struggles against the Spirit. Walking with Jesus will sometimes put us out of step with the way the world handles conflict. The good news is that the gospel brings peace, first peace with God through Jesus, and then peace in our own hearts that can steady us even when others are stirring up strife.
The apostle Paul faced something similar. While he was in chains, others who were jealous of what God was doing through him tried to use his situation to advance themselves out of a spirit of contention. Paul did not respond with jealousy or competition in return. Instead he rejoiced that Christ was being proclaimed and refused to be drawn into that rivalry. That is a helpful model for you. Rather than feeling you must compete back or constantly defend yourself when he corrects you, you can choose to rejoice that God is at work in your life, do your work faithfully and quietly, and leave the outcome in God's hands.
For your shift together, pray before you go in and ask God to fill you with His peace and self control. Determine ahead of time to stay calm, speak clearly and respectfully, and not be pulled into an argument. If he corrects you unnecessarily, you can respond simply and factually without attacking back. If he tries to diminish your work, continue to do what is right and let your consistent faithfulness speak. Ask God to guard your heart from resentment and from a competitive spirit in return.
I am praying for you, that God will calm anxious thoughts as you go into this time, that He will quiet the competitive and bossy impulses in your coworker, and that He will give you wisdom, grace, and peace that others can see. May He take away that spirit of jealousy and replace it with a more humble and respectful attitude, and may He help you to rest in the knowledge that He sees you, He is for you, and He will care for you through this.
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