Silas
Beloved of All
Your heartache as a mother who has been met with hurtful words and then with years of silence is very real, and God sees it fully. The love of a parent for a child is one of the deepest loves on earth. Scripture itself first speaks of love as the love of a father for his son, and that picture is given to help us understand the heart of God the Father for His own Son. When you love your son, grieve over his wrong choices, and long for him, you are feeling something that reflects, in a small way, the heart of God, who so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son.
The Bible gives clear instruction to children, even grown children. In Proverbs a father pleads, my son, hear the instruction of your father and do not forsake the teaching of your mother. That word shows that a mother's correction is not to be despised. It also says that the Lord corrects those He loves, as a father delights in his son, and the New Testament repeats it, my son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, for the Lord disciplines every son He receives. Your desire to correct your son when he was doing wrong was not unkind. Correction given in love is part of God's design. Yet an adult child must choose whether to receive it. When he answers with harsh words or withdraws completely, that is his responsibility before God, not a failure of your love.
You know the story of Abraham. God asked him to offer Isaac, his only son, the son whom he loved. Abraham was torn, as any parent would be, because he loved his son deeply. He had also loved Ishmael and grieved to send him away. Scripture shows us a father who loved both sons yet had to entrust them to God. In the same way, Jacob mourned for years believing Joseph was dead, torn by wild beasts, while in truth Joseph was alive and God had placed him in a position where restoration would one day be possible. In a few days Jacob would embrace the son he thought he had lost. These accounts remind us that what looks like a final loss to a parent is not hidden from God, and God is able to work in ways we cannot see during long years of separation.
You cannot force your son's heart to soften, and you are not called to carry guilt for his choices as an adult. What you can do is keep your own heart before the Lord. Scripture says the life we now live we live by faith in the Son of God who loved us and gave Himself for us. Part of that faith is reckoning the old flesh, with its bitterness, anger and desire to retaliate, as put to death and giving it no place. It is also remembering who you are in Christ. God sent His Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons. Because you are His child, He has sent the Spirit of His Son into your heart crying, Abba, Father. You are not alone in this pain. Your Father understands parental love and parental grief more deeply than any human parent.
Continue to pray for your son, not with demands but with entrusting him to God. Pray that God will work in his heart, bring him to see his need for Christ, and grant him repentance. Pray that if it is possible, the wall of silence would come down and that any future conversation would be marked by truth and grace. Keep the door open in love without excusing what is wrong, and guard your own heart from resentment. Trust God with the outcome and with the timing, as Abraham had to trust God with Isaac.
May the Lord comfort you in this long waiting, strengthen you to walk by faith, and guard your heart in His peace. May He draw your son to Himself, bring conviction where there has been hardness, and in His mercy bring restoration in His perfect way.
The Bible gives clear instruction to children, even grown children. In Proverbs a father pleads, my son, hear the instruction of your father and do not forsake the teaching of your mother. That word shows that a mother's correction is not to be despised. It also says that the Lord corrects those He loves, as a father delights in his son, and the New Testament repeats it, my son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, for the Lord disciplines every son He receives. Your desire to correct your son when he was doing wrong was not unkind. Correction given in love is part of God's design. Yet an adult child must choose whether to receive it. When he answers with harsh words or withdraws completely, that is his responsibility before God, not a failure of your love.
You know the story of Abraham. God asked him to offer Isaac, his only son, the son whom he loved. Abraham was torn, as any parent would be, because he loved his son deeply. He had also loved Ishmael and grieved to send him away. Scripture shows us a father who loved both sons yet had to entrust them to God. In the same way, Jacob mourned for years believing Joseph was dead, torn by wild beasts, while in truth Joseph was alive and God had placed him in a position where restoration would one day be possible. In a few days Jacob would embrace the son he thought he had lost. These accounts remind us that what looks like a final loss to a parent is not hidden from God, and God is able to work in ways we cannot see during long years of separation.
You cannot force your son's heart to soften, and you are not called to carry guilt for his choices as an adult. What you can do is keep your own heart before the Lord. Scripture says the life we now live we live by faith in the Son of God who loved us and gave Himself for us. Part of that faith is reckoning the old flesh, with its bitterness, anger and desire to retaliate, as put to death and giving it no place. It is also remembering who you are in Christ. God sent His Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons. Because you are His child, He has sent the Spirit of His Son into your heart crying, Abba, Father. You are not alone in this pain. Your Father understands parental love and parental grief more deeply than any human parent.
Continue to pray for your son, not with demands but with entrusting him to God. Pray that God will work in his heart, bring him to see his need for Christ, and grant him repentance. Pray that if it is possible, the wall of silence would come down and that any future conversation would be marked by truth and grace. Keep the door open in love without excusing what is wrong, and guard your own heart from resentment. Trust God with the outcome and with the timing, as Abraham had to trust God with Isaac.
May the Lord comfort you in this long waiting, strengthen you to walk by faith, and guard your heart in His peace. May He draw your son to Himself, bring conviction where there has been hardness, and in His mercy bring restoration in His perfect way.
