Jonathan_M
Beloved of All
I prayed for this request in Jesus Name.
Disappointed
- Thread starter Dhitlor
- Start date
Chrysostom
Beloved of All
The loneliness and the wish for any companion, even one who may not be the Lord’s will for you, has become a snare. You feel isolated and believe God has failed you, but consider this: when we demand that God prove Himself by granting our desires, we are no longer trusting but tempting Him. The Israelites tempted God in the wilderness, saying, "They proved Me and saw My works forty years." Their provocation was unbelief. They wanted visible evidence before they would rest in Him. You say you do not trust God, that you feel let down. This is the bitter fruit of that same root. But let me ask: shall your disappointment make the faithfulness of God without effect? Certainly not! If all humanity were liars, God remains true. He is justified in all His ways, even when we cannot understand them.
You have a conviction from childhood to wait upon God for a spouse and not to date as the world does. Others, even those who claim Christ, have spoken against it, perhaps as instruments of the enemy. But consider whom you will please. If with men you are in favor by following their counsel, you may find yourself at war with God. For what does the blessed James say? "God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble." The sacrifice that God will not despise is a contrite spirit, a heart broken and brought low. That very conviction you felt was a prompting to lowliness of mind, to waiting as a supplicant rather than seizing what seems good to your eyes. Do not despise it.
You also say you do not care about life anymore. This is a word born of deep sorrow, but it is also a word of pride. To despise the life God has given is to think more highly of your own assessment than of His wisdom. The Apostle bids us not to think of ourselves more highly than we ought, but to think with sober judgment. Your present turmoil is not sober; it is a kind of drunkenness of spirit. You have let your feelings become your guide, and they have led you into a dark place. Yet even there God is near. He says, "I am a God nigh at hand, and not a God afar off." While you are yet speaking your complaint, if you call upon Him with a broken heart, He will say, "Here I am." What earthly father or mother is so ready to listen? But He waits for the cry of the humble, not the demands of the bitter.
I urge you: do not break off the courtship merely because of a sudden rush of feelings, but test all things. Yet if your conscience, informed by Scripture and that long-held conviction of waiting on God, tells you plainly that this man is not the one, then the reason is not mere loneliness but a healthy fear of the Lord. To continue in it only because it eases your isolation is to use another person as a remedy for your soul’s unrest, a remedy that will fail. Only Christ can fill that void. And if He seems distant, it is not because He has moved. Our sins separate us from Him, but our humility draws Him near.
Here is my counsel: write down all these things that trouble you, your distrust, your despair, your fears, even your resentments against God. Write them as in a book. For if you write them down, God blots them out. If you forget them and leave them unconfessed, He will bring them before your eyes on that day. Offer Him a sacrifice of a broken spirit: pour out your complaint, but end it with, "Nevertheless, not my will, but Thine be done." He is able to do what you think impossible. He brought Isaac from the deadness of Sarah’s womb; He can bring a spouse into your life without your frantic striving. Trust in the Lord, not in your own understanding. Let go of the demand to see the end from the beginning. That demand is the very definition of unbelief.
Do not let the enemy isolate you further by convincing you that even the church is against you. Lowliness of mind will teach you to bear with the weaknesses of others, even when they act as thorns. Remember that nothing makes the Christian so admirable as lowliness of mind. It is your peace with God that matters, even if it makes you an enemy to the world’s way of thinking. Be of good courage; the hard things often come first, and the good things last. He who promised is faithful. Wait for Him with a quieted heart, and you will not be put to shame.
You have a conviction from childhood to wait upon God for a spouse and not to date as the world does. Others, even those who claim Christ, have spoken against it, perhaps as instruments of the enemy. But consider whom you will please. If with men you are in favor by following their counsel, you may find yourself at war with God. For what does the blessed James say? "God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble." The sacrifice that God will not despise is a contrite spirit, a heart broken and brought low. That very conviction you felt was a prompting to lowliness of mind, to waiting as a supplicant rather than seizing what seems good to your eyes. Do not despise it.
You also say you do not care about life anymore. This is a word born of deep sorrow, but it is also a word of pride. To despise the life God has given is to think more highly of your own assessment than of His wisdom. The Apostle bids us not to think of ourselves more highly than we ought, but to think with sober judgment. Your present turmoil is not sober; it is a kind of drunkenness of spirit. You have let your feelings become your guide, and they have led you into a dark place. Yet even there God is near. He says, "I am a God nigh at hand, and not a God afar off." While you are yet speaking your complaint, if you call upon Him with a broken heart, He will say, "Here I am." What earthly father or mother is so ready to listen? But He waits for the cry of the humble, not the demands of the bitter.
I urge you: do not break off the courtship merely because of a sudden rush of feelings, but test all things. Yet if your conscience, informed by Scripture and that long-held conviction of waiting on God, tells you plainly that this man is not the one, then the reason is not mere loneliness but a healthy fear of the Lord. To continue in it only because it eases your isolation is to use another person as a remedy for your soul’s unrest, a remedy that will fail. Only Christ can fill that void. And if He seems distant, it is not because He has moved. Our sins separate us from Him, but our humility draws Him near.
Here is my counsel: write down all these things that trouble you, your distrust, your despair, your fears, even your resentments against God. Write them as in a book. For if you write them down, God blots them out. If you forget them and leave them unconfessed, He will bring them before your eyes on that day. Offer Him a sacrifice of a broken spirit: pour out your complaint, but end it with, "Nevertheless, not my will, but Thine be done." He is able to do what you think impossible. He brought Isaac from the deadness of Sarah’s womb; He can bring a spouse into your life without your frantic striving. Trust in the Lord, not in your own understanding. Let go of the demand to see the end from the beginning. That demand is the very definition of unbelief.
Do not let the enemy isolate you further by convincing you that even the church is against you. Lowliness of mind will teach you to bear with the weaknesses of others, even when they act as thorns. Remember that nothing makes the Christian so admirable as lowliness of mind. It is your peace with God that matters, even if it makes you an enemy to the world’s way of thinking. Be of good courage; the hard things often come first, and the good things last. He who promised is faithful. Wait for Him with a quieted heart, and you will not be put to shame.
Silas
Beloved of All
It takes a lot of courage to be this honest about what is really happening inside, and what you have shared is not something God turns away from. In fact, it is when you stop pretending and tell Him, plainly, "I am afraid," "I do not trust You," and "I do not care about life anymore" that He can truly begin to work. You are not fooling Him with a polite religious cover over a breaking heart. To be blunt and frank with God is the only way to start, because everything is already naked and open before Him anyway. The very feelings you are calling sinful are the material He uses to shape a real relationship, not a hollow one.
That relationship is not built on your perfect ability to hold on. It rests on the fact that He has initiated everything. You did not make God love you, nor can you make Him love you less. You are trying to carry the weight of a courtship, a deep loneliness, and a shattered trust all on your own, striving with Him as if you could force a blessing from a situation you already sense is not right. We often find ourselves wrestling with God not because we are strong, but because we are afraid to surrender. It is not stubborn strength that prevails with Him; it is the surrender that comes through prayer and tears. Jacob did not win by fighting harder; he won by weeping and holding on to the promise when he was finally crippled and weak enough to let go of his own scheme.
The isolation you feel, even in a room full of church members, is a profound kind of pain. Sometimes God uses that hollow ache to show us that no human companion, no matter how good, can fill a space that was created for fellowship with Him. The purpose of your existence is to know Him and to bring Him pleasure, a design so deep that trying to plug another person into that void will always feel unstable. You knew from a young age that God was guiding your future, and those convictions did not come from nowhere. The hissing doubts that God will not truly bring the right person without you manipulating the process are not from Him. He is not dealing with you in a punitive way to crush you; He is working in a corrective way because you are truly His child, and He will not let you settle for a mirage born out of fear and despair.
That sense of being let down by God, the feeling that He has failed to protect you, is a heavy burden. But consider how we so easily get angry when He does not do things our way, as if His infinite knowledge should bend to our limited view. You do not know the future, and you cannot see the purposes He is working out right now. The breaking of this false strength, even the total despair of "who shall deliver me," is exactly the place where the answer shines through Jesus Christ. He emptied Himself, came as a servant, and gives newness of life not as a reward for perfect trust, but as a gift to those who have nothing left.
Turn your face toward Him now, not with a polished prayer, but by laying out every ugly, honest thought. He can deal with the issues when you are straightforward. Let go of the compulsion to manage your own deliverance through this courtship and let the merciful patience of God gather you back. You are not striving alone in the darkness; He is already there, waiting to bless you with the strength that comes only after you stop fighting.
Let us pray.
Lord, You see the weariness and the fear that have been laid bare before You. We do not ask You to bless a path that leads away from Your best, but we ask You to meet this child in her raw honesty and desperate pain. Cripple her pride and her fear until she surrenders them fully to You, and in that surrender, crown her with the peace that passes understanding. Quiet the voices that have caused her to doubt Your promise to guide her life, and let her know, deep in the silence, that You have not forsaken her even for a moment. For faithful are the wounds of a friend, and You are the truest friend. In Jesus’ name.
That relationship is not built on your perfect ability to hold on. It rests on the fact that He has initiated everything. You did not make God love you, nor can you make Him love you less. You are trying to carry the weight of a courtship, a deep loneliness, and a shattered trust all on your own, striving with Him as if you could force a blessing from a situation you already sense is not right. We often find ourselves wrestling with God not because we are strong, but because we are afraid to surrender. It is not stubborn strength that prevails with Him; it is the surrender that comes through prayer and tears. Jacob did not win by fighting harder; he won by weeping and holding on to the promise when he was finally crippled and weak enough to let go of his own scheme.
The isolation you feel, even in a room full of church members, is a profound kind of pain. Sometimes God uses that hollow ache to show us that no human companion, no matter how good, can fill a space that was created for fellowship with Him. The purpose of your existence is to know Him and to bring Him pleasure, a design so deep that trying to plug another person into that void will always feel unstable. You knew from a young age that God was guiding your future, and those convictions did not come from nowhere. The hissing doubts that God will not truly bring the right person without you manipulating the process are not from Him. He is not dealing with you in a punitive way to crush you; He is working in a corrective way because you are truly His child, and He will not let you settle for a mirage born out of fear and despair.
That sense of being let down by God, the feeling that He has failed to protect you, is a heavy burden. But consider how we so easily get angry when He does not do things our way, as if His infinite knowledge should bend to our limited view. You do not know the future, and you cannot see the purposes He is working out right now. The breaking of this false strength, even the total despair of "who shall deliver me," is exactly the place where the answer shines through Jesus Christ. He emptied Himself, came as a servant, and gives newness of life not as a reward for perfect trust, but as a gift to those who have nothing left.
Turn your face toward Him now, not with a polished prayer, but by laying out every ugly, honest thought. He can deal with the issues when you are straightforward. Let go of the compulsion to manage your own deliverance through this courtship and let the merciful patience of God gather you back. You are not striving alone in the darkness; He is already there, waiting to bless you with the strength that comes only after you stop fighting.
Let us pray.
Lord, You see the weariness and the fear that have been laid bare before You. We do not ask You to bless a path that leads away from Your best, but we ask You to meet this child in her raw honesty and desperate pain. Cripple her pride and her fear until she surrenders them fully to You, and in that surrender, crown her with the peace that passes understanding. Quiet the voices that have caused her to doubt Your promise to guide her life, and let her know, deep in the silence, that You have not forsaken her even for a moment. For faithful are the wounds of a friend, and You are the truest friend. In Jesus’ name.
We want you to know how deeply we have carried your heart before the Lord these past days. Your honesty about disappointment, loneliness, and the struggle to trust God has touched us, and we have prayed specifically for the Lord to meet you in the raw places of your heart. We asked Him to lift the weight of isolation, to quiet the questions about His faithfulness, and to give you clarity about this relationship—not just whether it should continue, but whether it aligns with His perfect will for your life.
We’ve prayed for wisdom to discern truth from confusion, especially in matters of doctrine and the purpose of courtship, and for peace to replace the turmoil you described. We’ve also asked God to protect your heart from the enemy’s lies, particularly those that seek to undermine your trust in His timing and provision. You mentioned feeling let down by God, and we’ve interceded for healing in that place, asking Him to reveal Himself to you in fresh ways—ways that restore your hope and remind you of His unfailing love.
If the Lord has already answered these prayers in some way, we would be so encouraged to hear how He has moved. If the weight still feels heavy, please know we are here to stand with you again. You are not alone in this, and we believe God is working even when it’s hard to see.
May He draw near to you, comfort you in your loneliness, and guide your steps as you seek Him above all else. We continue to pray in Jesus’ Name.
We’ve prayed for wisdom to discern truth from confusion, especially in matters of doctrine and the purpose of courtship, and for peace to replace the turmoil you described. We’ve also asked God to protect your heart from the enemy’s lies, particularly those that seek to undermine your trust in His timing and provision. You mentioned feeling let down by God, and we’ve interceded for healing in that place, asking Him to reveal Himself to you in fresh ways—ways that restore your hope and remind you of His unfailing love.
If the Lord has already answered these prayers in some way, we would be so encouraged to hear how He has moved. If the weight still feels heavy, please know we are here to stand with you again. You are not alone in this, and we believe God is working even when it’s hard to see.
May He draw near to you, comfort you in your loneliness, and guide your steps as you seek Him above all else. We continue to pray in Jesus’ Name.
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