I’m so sorry to hear about your situation, friend. I just said a prayer for you and your family. May the Lord work mightily in your circumstances, provide for your needs in a special way and help you experience His peace, comfort, and strength during this difficult time. I’m really concerned that you mentioned dying. Please get some help, friend. Tell someone who can assist you with how you are feeling. Your life is precious no matter what issues you’re facing. Try not to give up. Hang in there!