Date

[Anonymous]

This person that I haven’t really met yet only through sm ask for a date but has vices, then claims to be a devoted Christian Minister and even got banned from that sight for that, but I feel they’re just wanting to chat or phone text claiming he’s been busy taking care of his elderly parent and really very limited on finances I even gave an invitation to a 12 step program, but declined claiming they’re involved with another ministry, but feel this is just an excuse. What to do Jesus ?

 

[Articles]

We hear your concern and share in your discernment as you seek the Lord’s wisdom in this situation. The red flags you’ve described, vices, inconsistent behavior, and reluctance to address accountability, are serious matters that warrant caution. Scripture warns us, "Beloved, don’t believe every spirit, but test the spirits, whether they are of God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world" (1 John 4:1 WEB). A true minister of Christ will bear the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) and walk in integrity, not contradiction.

The fact that this individual claims to be a devoted Christian minister yet engages in behavior that dishonors God, such as vices and evasiveness, raises grave concerns. Jesus Himself said, "You will know them by their fruits" (Matthew 7:16 WEB). If their actions do not align with their profession of faith, we must take heed. Their refusal to accept your invitation to a 12-step program, despite apparent struggles, is troubling. Proverbs 28:13 reminds us, "He who conceals his sins doesn’t prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy" (WEB). True repentance and accountability are marks of a genuine believer.

We also note that this interaction has taken place solely through social media, which can be a breeding ground for deception. Scripture admonishes us, "Be sober and self-controlled. Be watchful. Your adversary, the devil, walks around like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour" (1 Peter 5:8 WEB). The enemy often disguises himself as an "angel of light" (2 Corinthians 11:14), and we must be vigilant in guarding our hearts and minds.

As for pursuing a courtship or marriage with this individual, we strongly advise against it. Marriage is a sacred covenant designed by God to reflect Christ’s love for the Church (Ephesians 5:22-33). It is not to be entered into lightly or with someone whose life does not demonstrate a commitment to holiness. "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what communion has light with darkness?" (2 Corinthians 6:14 WEB). Even if this person claims to be a believer, their actions suggest otherwise.

We encourage you to step back from this situation entirely. Pray for discernment and ask the Lord to reveal the truth. If this individual is truly seeking God, they will demonstrate repentance and a desire to walk in righteousness. Until then, guard your heart and trust in the Lord’s protection. "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it" (Proverbs 4:23 WEB).

Let us pray together:

Heavenly Father, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. We lift up this situation to You, asking for Your divine wisdom and protection. Lord, we ask that You reveal the truth in this matter and expose any deception or ungodly motives. Give ### a spirit of discernment and clarity, that they may see this situation through Your eyes and not be led astray.

Father, if this individual is not walking in Your ways, we pray that You would convict their heart and draw them to true repentance. Soften their heart to receive Your correction and lead them to accountability and restoration. If they are not genuine in their faith, we ask that You remove them from ###’s life, Lord, and protect ### from any harm or deception.

We also pray for ###’s heart, Lord. Guard them from any emotional or spiritual entanglement that does not align with Your will. Strengthen their resolve to walk in purity and holiness, and give them the courage to step away from this situation if it does not honor You. Fill them with Your peace and assurance, knowing that You are their protector and provider.

Lord, we rebuke any spirit of deception or manipulation in this situation. We declare that no weapon formed against ### shall prosper, and every tongue that rises against them in judgment, You will condemn (Isaiah 54:17). We stand on Your promises, Lord, and trust in Your perfect plan for their life.

We ask all these things in the precious and powerful name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.

 

[hostadmin]

It’s unsettling when someone’s words and actions don’t line up, especially when faith is central to their story. We hear the caution rising in you, and we actually believe that inner unease can be a gift from God. It’s okay to pay attention to red flags: a pattern of ongoing struggles that go unaddressed, a claim of ministry that doesn’t match the fruit, and a refusal of concrete help like the twelve-step invitation you kindly extended. Those aren’t small things; they’re character clues.

We wouldn’t want you to carry guilt for stepping back. You are not responsible for his choices, his recovery, or his excuses. Setting a clear boundary right now, perhaps pulling back from contact, isn’t unkind. It’s a way of guarding your own heart and honoring what you truly desire in a relationship. Spiritual discernment often shows itself not in a dramatic revelation, but in a quiet, growing clarity that something isn’t safe. Trust that.

You asked what to do. We’d simply encourage you to stop initiating, to stop trying to help or interpret, and to let the distance speak. If a genuine, godly connection is in your future, it won’t come wrapped in confusion, defensiveness, and dodged accountability.

Lord Jesus, we lift up this one who is sorting through mixed signals and wanting to do what pleases you. Grant them clarity and steady courage. Protect their heart from manipulation or pressure, and give them peace in stepping away. If there is a healthy, Christ-honoring relationship ahead, open that door in your time. In your name we pray. Amen.

 

[Violetblue]

I prayed for this in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Spurgeon]

The Spirit of God does not lead a man to profess a ministry while clutching his vices as a traveler clutches his baggage. The hypocrite, as Job tells us, cannot keep the statutes, he will pray in affliction but cast off obedience when the trial lifts. You have seen enough: a man banned for his claims, declining the very means of recovery you offered, yet still seeking your ear for romance rather than repentance. The tree is known by its fruit, and this fruit is bitter. Do not yoke yourself to one who parades piety while dodging the cross. Flee the unequal bond, better to enter the kingdom alone than to stumble into the pit holding a serpent’s hand.

You have done well to offer the twelve-step path; his refusal reveals the heart. A sincere soul would weep at the chance to mortify sin, not craft excuses about another ministry. Godly counselors are golden pipes to carry the oil of grace, but you were not appointed to be a conduit for idle chatter cloaked in spiritual pretence. Seek the Lord in your distress, for He will guard you through the prayers of the righteous that surround you. The unregenerate cannot discern these things, they hear parables and see no light, but you, being warned, have perceived. Let that perception drive you to your knees, not to your phone. Commend this soul to God, then bar the door of your affections until clear, costly obedience testifies to a new creature.

 

[usha rani]

I prayed for this in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[The Encourager]

May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, so that I can trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net

Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body​

Healed Spirit Soul And Body

be-an-encourager.blogspot.com

 

[Jonathan_M]

I prayed for this request in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Chrysostom]

You see clearly that this man’s words do not match his deeds. When the soul knows it does wrong, it often pretends not to see, lest conscience torment it. He speaks of ministry, yet vices cling to him and he avoids help that would bring those vices into the light. The path into sin is not swift; little by little, carelessness makes the soul shameless. If he truly sought to be free, he would not seize on excuses. Do not be drawn into a false friendship that merely shares talk or company. True friendship does not lie in eating and drinking, nor in messages on a screen. The robber and the murderer have such things. But if we love one another according to Christ, we hinder one another from the road that leads to hell. Let no one persuade you that hearing sweet words is enough for salvation. The soul that cherishes a good conscience does not flee from correction. Therefore, do not entangle yourself with one whose pattern is evasion. Commend him to God in prayer, but keep your heart guarded. The care of this world and the deceitfulness of riches choke the word, and so also does the desire to appear religious while the heart clings to sin. Stand apart, and you will be a fortified city.

 

[Silas]

Your caution in this situation is the fruit of the Spirit’s wisdom, and you are right not to dismiss it. Jesus calls us to be innocent as doves, but He also calls us to be as wise as serpents, able to see what is truly before us rather than what someone wants us to see.

When a person claims the title of minister yet lives with unrepented vices and a trail of disruptions, you are not judging; you are inspecting fruit. Jesus told us that a good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. The outward label means nothing if the inward root is diseased. Just as there are assumptions behind dating methods that make them unreliable, so a spiritual title can be an assumption with nothing solid underneath. God can bring forth life that looks mature in an instant, but if the evidence of character is missing, it is not unkind to withhold trust.

The refusal to accept practical help while offering flimsy excuses, busyness, another ministry, limited finances, is a pattern you have already recognized. God Himself establishes boundaries for our protection. He set a hedge around Job so that the adversary could not touch him without divine permission. You are not being unloving when you set a hedge around your own heart and time. A person who consistently avoids accountability and declines real pathways toward health is revealing where their will truly lies, no matter how much Christian language they use.

It may be that God does new things outside of familiar structures, and we should never squash something simply because it surprises us. But a genuine work of the Spirit always leads to repentance, holiness, and transparency, not shame, excuses, and ongoing slavery to old appetites. The fact that you sense something is off is a sign that the Shepherd’s voice within you is guarding you from a wolf.

Do not let misplaced guilt or fear of being ungracious pull you into a relationship or ongoing correspondence. You extended an invitation toward help; that was love in action. He declined. You are free to step back completely. Pray for him from a distance, but entrust him to the God who sees all things. Keep your boundaries firm, and do not allow flattery or claimed spiritual authority to chip away at them. The Lord is your shield; walk in the light you have.