Anonymous
Beloved of All
Count the Cost
How mere Human beings in their delusions of grandeur with them selves can use their twisted minds to misinterpret words written in a book called the bible by men and wreak havoc in people's lives in their time of weakness, need and distress. way back in 1994 when I got saved, I was not instructed to (Count the Cost) first before making that decision. I was not told before hand how god delighted in seeing his own son hanging nailed and dying on a cross. So what are the Cost?: 1.Putting family, and even one s own life, second to Jesus.2..Bearing one's cross and following after Jesus.3.Renouncing all one has (including your own psychical life).4.Having a target put on you that the devil will aim at to destroy you from day one. No one told me ahead of time that my judgement as a christian will be as severe as someone who never heard of the gospel and accepted Jesus. Because now that I accepted Christ if I don't walk a perfect straight and narrow line (Daily) that when I do fall, the lnjury will be way more severe than just one having life's problems because now on top of life's problems I now have the devil aiming at me constantly and adding heat to an already unbearable fire. And then you have those (Perfect) one's who from birth, do everything as god/jesus instructs, why? when all the pieces of one's life (Family, Job, Personal) fall perfectly into place like a divine intervention from above well one is to feel like god love's them and that is why they strive to stay on that path, but what about people like me who at their time of birth God hated them Just as it is written: 'Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated.' The fact is, God loved Jacob, and he did not love Esau; The fact is he did choose Jacob, but he did not choose Esau; The fact is god did bless Jacob, but he never blessed Esau; The fact god's his mercy followed Jacob all the days of his life, even to the last, but his mercy never followed Esau; he permitted him still to go on in his sins, and to prove that dreadful truth, ('Esau have I hated.') Others, in order to get rid of this ug]y text, say, It does not mean Esau and Jacob; it means the nation; it means Jacob's children and Esau's children; It means the children of Israel and Edom. I would like to know where the difference lies? Is the difficulty removed by extending it? Why did God love Jacob and hate Esau? If God is love (1 John 4:8), how could He hate anyone? but he hated and hates me. It has everything to do with God choosing one man and rejecting another man and his descendants. It seems in a perverted way that god with the help of Satan (after all Satan does work for him) is slowly and methodically destroying me from the inside out. and like when jesus hung on the cross dying, he is delighted in my suffering. and since god is sovereign we are not to question his ways. That explains so much to me now years later. Just like me with my earthly father who died years ago. That explains why my children are unsuccessful and hate me years later. That explains a lifetime of unanswered prayers, That explains a lifetime of illnesses, That explains a lifetime of no friends and loneliness, That explains a lifetime of one failed relationship after another, That explains a lifetime of one bad decision after another (Falling in and out of sin),and It explains why I am being sued by a person that I took pity on and gave Food, Money and Prayer to. Now looking back on a failed and destroyed life as a christian, That is proof enough to me that a god of Love can hate without provocation. so now that I have written so, so many letters over many, many months to have turned into years to all these So-called cristian prayer groups and prayer ministries and had people praying weaker prayers than my now labored breathing. I can look forward to the surprise when I die and watching some successful rich man enter the gates of heaven, not because he was right with god, just because god is a respecter of person's and because of that man's wealth, successes in life whatever they be, only god can give one the Midas touch ( Deuteronomy 8:18). So am I wrong in saying: I would make a deal with the devil to get me out of this jam I am in with a sovereign god who hates me. So now what do I do? I dread every waking hour of the day and night. but I am too much of a coward to take my own life and end my suffering because this god full of mercy sure won't be merciful and do it for me. He supposedly made everything in 6 days so what is the problem with stopping one beating heart? Such a horrible place to be, having no choice but to live with a Sovereign god that hates me.
How mere Human beings in their delusions of grandeur with them selves can use their twisted minds to misinterpret words written in a book called the bible by men and wreak havoc in people's lives in their time of weakness, need and distress. way back in 1994 when I got saved, I was not instructed to (Count the Cost) first before making that decision. I was not told before hand how god delighted in seeing his own son hanging nailed and dying on a cross. So what are the Cost?: 1.Putting family, and even one s own life, second to Jesus.2..Bearing one's cross and following after Jesus.3.Renouncing all one has (including your own psychical life).4.Having a target put on you that the devil will aim at to destroy you from day one. No one told me ahead of time that my judgement as a christian will be as severe as someone who never heard of the gospel and accepted Jesus. Because now that I accepted Christ if I don't walk a perfect straight and narrow line (Daily) that when I do fall, the lnjury will be way more severe than just one having life's problems because now on top of life's problems I now have the devil aiming at me constantly and adding heat to an already unbearable fire. And then you have those (Perfect) one's who from birth, do everything as god/jesus instructs, why? when all the pieces of one's life (Family, Job, Personal) fall perfectly into place like a divine intervention from above well one is to feel like god love's them and that is why they strive to stay on that path, but what about people like me who at their time of birth God hated them Just as it is written: 'Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated.' The fact is, God loved Jacob, and he did not love Esau; The fact is he did choose Jacob, but he did not choose Esau; The fact is god did bless Jacob, but he never blessed Esau; The fact god's his mercy followed Jacob all the days of his life, even to the last, but his mercy never followed Esau; he permitted him still to go on in his sins, and to prove that dreadful truth, ('Esau have I hated.') Others, in order to get rid of this ug]y text, say, It does not mean Esau and Jacob; it means the nation; it means Jacob's children and Esau's children; It means the children of Israel and Edom. I would like to know where the difference lies? Is the difficulty removed by extending it? Why did God love Jacob and hate Esau? If God is love (1 John 4:8), how could He hate anyone? but he hated and hates me. It has everything to do with God choosing one man and rejecting another man and his descendants. It seems in a perverted way that god with the help of Satan (after all Satan does work for him) is slowly and methodically destroying me from the inside out. and like when jesus hung on the cross dying, he is delighted in my suffering. and since god is sovereign we are not to question his ways. That explains so much to me now years later. Just like me with my earthly father who died years ago. That explains why my children are unsuccessful and hate me years later. That explains a lifetime of unanswered prayers, That explains a lifetime of illnesses, That explains a lifetime of no friends and loneliness, That explains a lifetime of one failed relationship after another, That explains a lifetime of one bad decision after another (Falling in and out of sin),and It explains why I am being sued by a person that I took pity on and gave Food, Money and Prayer to. Now looking back on a failed and destroyed life as a christian, That is proof enough to me that a god of Love can hate without provocation. so now that I have written so, so many letters over many, many months to have turned into years to all these So-called cristian prayer groups and prayer ministries and had people praying weaker prayers than my now labored breathing. I can look forward to the surprise when I die and watching some successful rich man enter the gates of heaven, not because he was right with god, just because god is a respecter of person's and because of that man's wealth, successes in life whatever they be, only god can give one the Midas touch ( Deuteronomy 8:18). So am I wrong in saying: I would make a deal with the devil to get me out of this jam I am in with a sovereign god who hates me. So now what do I do? I dread every waking hour of the day and night. but I am too much of a coward to take my own life and end my suffering because this god full of mercy sure won't be merciful and do it for me. He supposedly made everything in 6 days so what is the problem with stopping one beating heart? Such a horrible place to be, having no choice but to live with a Sovereign god that hates me.
