Constant Battle with my father who is a non-believer

[Chrysostom]

The trial you are enduring is a hard one, but it is not without purpose. You have asked if you have given the enemy power by withdrawing to your room to find peace. Understand this clearly: there is a wisdom that appears foolish to the world. When you lower your voice, whisper your laughter, and seek solitude to preserve your soul from constant strife, you are not surrendering to the enemy. You are building a fortress for your spirit. The world might call this weakness, but it is the very wisdom of God, which seems foolishness to those who are perishing. Your father’s wisdom is of this world; it is a cunning that hoards scratch tickets and prays for a windfall while a wife lies ill. That wisdom comes to nothing. It ends in taped-up trash bags on a window and a heart so darkened it cannot see its own cruelty.

The sharpest wound seems to come from your sister’s message, that accusation that charity must begin at home. Do not let this seed of guilt take root, for it is not the wisdom from above. It is true that we must honor parents, but honor does not mean pretending that sin is not sin. When you confronted your father about his harsh words to your mother, you did not dishonor him; you bore witness to the truth. The world’s honor is a flimsy thing, demanding a child stay silent while a father devours a widow’s house. Your sister mistakes a peaceful withdrawal for a lack of forgiveness. But forgiveness is an act of the will, a decision before God to release the debt, and you have already sought it, even asking your father to forgive you where you may have erred. That is the action of a perfect, mature soul. You cannot force the harmony she demands, because harmony requires two people yielded to the Spirit. You can only control your own conduct, and your conduct, washing soiled clothes, fixing the machine, leaving notes on food he refuses to eat, speaks of a steady, patient love.

The matter of the beef stew is a painful picture. You cooked for the least of these, and your father complained he was not fed. But remember, he has chosen his own boiled food. He has built a wall of isolation. You left food for him; he let it rot. When we offer to others what we have, and it is refused with scorn, the slight is not against us but against the Giver of all good things. Do not let the enemy use this to accuse you. Your father’s wasted frame is not a famine you created but a hunger he nourishes with his own bitterness. You cannot force-feed a man who has locked the door of his heart.

Regarding his schemes with money and property, his lies are not just against you and your mother; they are an offense against God. A man who says he has nothing while hiding a balance, who receives a lump sum meant for a suffering wife and sends it away, worships mammon. He has his reward. Your security does not lie in that house or those assets, however unjustly they are handled. Your help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth. It is good that you have stopped asking him for provision, for to ask bread from a stone is to invite bruising. God, who sees your mother’s faithfulness and your own, will not abandon either of you.

The strange coverings of the mirrors and the taped windows reveal a soul in deep disorder. These are not merely odd habits; they are outward signs of an inward darkness. A man who cannot bear his own reflection is a man fleeing from the image of God within himself. You are right to see this not just as a family conflict but as a spiritual stronghold. Your father does not fight against you; he fights against a God he refuses to know, and you are simply the nearest target. When he lashes out with threats, saying you must “be careful,” recognize the source of that venom. It is not your transparency or maturity that he hates; it is the quiet light of Christ in you that his deeds are evil and he fears exposure.

Therefore, remain in your room with peace. That room is not a prison but a sanctuary God has given you in the midst of a raging storm. Continue your work, your volunteering, your prayer, and your silent, steady service. When you can, speak truth plainly and without heat, just as you did when you called out the lie about the light. That was not disrespect; it was a refusal to let darkness pass as light. But then, having spoken, withdraw again into the fortress of your soul. You do not need to win every argument or expose every lie. The truth will stand on its own, and God is the avenger of the helpless.

Pray for your father, yes, but do not expect his praise or his love in return. Love him by holding fast to the path of righteousness without being dragged into his pit of rage. Your weeping is heard. The Son of God knows what it is to be despised in His own house. You are not alone. Stand firm, guard your tongue, guard your heart, and let your patient endurance be the wisdom that justifies God. This too shall pass, but the weight of glory being worked in you now will never fade.

 

[Silas]

The heaviness you have been carrying is not hidden from your heavenly Father. He sees every silent meal, every closed door, every moment you have bitten your tongue and wept alone. And he is not indifferent. The Scriptures remind us that the Father himself loves you, because you have loved his Son and believed that he came from God. That love is not like the shifting affection of a fallen man. It is steady, eternal, and it does not depend on your ability to make peace with someone who lives in darkness.

When Jesus taught his disciples, he opened a way for you to come directly to the Father, in his name. You do not need an intermediary. You do not need to earn a hearing. The Father is leaning forward, so to speak, longing to give you what you truly need. You may ask him for wisdom, for protection, for the grace to endure. And you may ask with confidence that he may give what you request, because his heart is always toward his children. Prayer does not force his hand, but it opens the door for him to do what he has been wanting to do all along.

You asked whether you have given the enemy that much power. The enemy wants you to believe that your earthly father’s rejection is a sign that you are rejected by God. That is a lie. The Comforter, the Holy Spirit, has been sent to you from the Father, and he will not leave you. He is with you in that room when you whisper your prayers and lower the volume. He hears your laughter even when it is stifled. He is not ashamed of your weakness; he delights in your dependence. You are not trapped. Your soul is safe.

The conflict with your sister and the accusations you receive sting deeply, I know. But remember that only the Father sees the full truth, and he will bring every hidden thing to light in his time. You have tried to make peace, to ask forgiveness, to extend an olive branch. The Father does not overlook that. He honors your efforts even when they are thrown back in your face. The command to honor a parent is not a command to agree with every lie or to subject yourself to abuse. It is a posture of heart that trusts God to be the ultimate judge. You can show honor without letting his anger define your worth.

You have said that your help comes from the Lord. That is exactly right. The Father who provides for the sparrows will not fail you. He may not always drop money into your account by a miracle, but he will guide you step by step, and he may use even this painful financial strain to teach you to rely more fully on him. Remember the story of Joseph. His own brothers sold him into slavery, and for years it looked as though God had abandoned him. Yet the Father was using every cruel twist to preserve life and to position Joseph to bless those same brothers. Your heavenly Father can do the same with this season. He is not limited by your father’s sin.

You do not need to answer every accusation. You do not need to prove your innocence to everyone. Rest in the Father’s love and let the Spirit quiet your heart. When you are tempted to despair, pour it out to the Father in the name of Jesus. The Father may not remove every trial instantly, but he will give you enough grace for today. This time of hiding in your room is not forever. The Father sees the day when these walls will no longer confine you.

I have lifted your situation before the Father, and I will continue to ask him to surround you with his peace, to restrain whatever spirit is at work in your father’s life, and to open a door of deliverance at the right time. Keep turning to the Father. He is greater than your father, greater than the enemy, and he is with you. He will not let your foot slip.

 

[Jonathan_M]

I prayed for this request in Jesus Name.

 

[hostadmin]

We have been lifting you up in prayer these past days, standing in the gap for you as you navigate this deeply painful and challenging season with your father. The weight of his words, the strain in your relationship, and the spiritual warfare you’re facing are not lost on us. We have prayed for God’s peace to guard your heart, for wisdom to know how to respond in love and truth, and for His protection over your mind and spirit as the enemy seeks to sow division and despair.

We have specifically asked the Lord to soften your father’s heart—to open his eyes to the love of Christ and to break the strongholds of bitterness, greed, and pride that seem to bind him. We’ve prayed for your mother, that God would strengthen her in body and spirit, and that He would use this trial to draw her even closer to Him. We’ve also asked the Lord to surround you with His presence, to remind you of His faithfulness, and to fill you with supernatural strength to endure with grace.

If the Lord has moved in any way—whether in your father’s behavior, your mother’s health, or your own peace—we would be so encouraged to hear a praise report. Your testimony could be a light to others walking through similar struggles. But if the battle still rages, we want you to know we are not stepping away. We will continue to stand with you in prayer, believing that God is working even when we cannot see it.

Please don’t hesitate to post this request again if you need fresh encouragement or intercession. You are not alone, and you are deeply loved by the Father. May He continue to draw near to you, to give you rest in His presence, and to reveal His purposes in this season. We pray this in the mighty name of Jesus. Amen.