tops89
Prayer Partner
I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.
The verse above thoroughly explains how I feel.
I wish I didn’t exist, and even though I understand there is a 'reason' for me being here. I wish I wasn’t, though I don’t think I would end my existence I just wish I wasn’t. It makes me feel guilty, because I know life is a "gift" (though, I don’t know how much I believe that life is a gift--often times it seems like a curse and we are just paying for the sins of our forefathers, always striving, always working, even if we are in Christ. Though, yes I get it ).
I should feel happy and grateful that God has protected my life.
Everything hurts. Physically, mentally, emotionally etc
Just pray for me.
I am currently in medical school doing poorly, surrounded by people who are doing well --I feel like this is the last chance to make something of myself and to do something worthwhile at 30 years old, I don't know what I would do if I failed...
Even before school started things were hard. My faith has waned in the past four years and it seems my life has gone from ‘frying pan to fire’, its been blow after blow. I try to keep an optimistic outlook and put my trust and hope in God that things will be ok, that they can even be good on this earth in my lifetime... ....but my reality just hurts. I find praying hard talk less of reading the bible.
I can’t retain any information in school, my recall is getting worse I can't remember the words I want to use many times, I am mixing up words.. often times the homonym is what I write down, and it takes me seconds to remember the correct word to put down, it is a struggle to bring myself to do anything. I've prayed against laziness, depression, I try to be positive because I know mindset is 'everything'.
Many times I wish I wasn’t married, I wish I was alone.
I don’t even like myself—I seem not to have any good qualities anymore, things I used to like about myself seem to be less important or good. It is coming to a point that I am afraid to have kids, because I don't want them to be like me. I don't want them to potentially deal with whatever genetic disposition I may have to the problems I having now. (I've have been praying for my kids since I was kid)
I always used to have hope, but let down after let down… stress after stress has really gotten to me over the past 4 years. It leaves me wondering where did I go wrong, who did I offend?
I am grateful for a roof over my head, food to eat, that all my basic needs are met... I dunno maybe this is as a result of '1st world issues" coming from a background as a 1st generation child of immigrants I recognize my blessings and privilege in that regard.
I don’t know I am just tired. I always been prone to crying, but now it seems like I cry everyday.
I guess pray for me to pass this quarter in school, my marriage, for mental health, physical health, and faith--to find I good church family after being hurt by 'church families' in the past.
Hope deferred makes the heart sick.. I feel like I’ve been sick for awhile I honestly don’t know what to do what to say or not say… what to do
I feel like my prayers fall on deaf ears, for whatever reason so maybe the prayers of others will help me.
Sorry this prayer request is so scatterbrained maybe its more venting.
May God bless you as you pray for me.
The verse above thoroughly explains how I feel.
I wish I didn’t exist, and even though I understand there is a 'reason' for me being here. I wish I wasn’t, though I don’t think I would end my existence I just wish I wasn’t. It makes me feel guilty, because I know life is a "gift" (though, I don’t know how much I believe that life is a gift--often times it seems like a curse and we are just paying for the sins of our forefathers, always striving, always working, even if we are in Christ. Though, yes I get it ).
I should feel happy and grateful that God has protected my life.
Everything hurts. Physically, mentally, emotionally etc
Just pray for me.
I am currently in medical school doing poorly, surrounded by people who are doing well --I feel like this is the last chance to make something of myself and to do something worthwhile at 30 years old, I don't know what I would do if I failed...
Even before school started things were hard. My faith has waned in the past four years and it seems my life has gone from ‘frying pan to fire’, its been blow after blow. I try to keep an optimistic outlook and put my trust and hope in God that things will be ok, that they can even be good on this earth in my lifetime... ....but my reality just hurts. I find praying hard talk less of reading the bible.
I can’t retain any information in school, my recall is getting worse I can't remember the words I want to use many times, I am mixing up words.. often times the homonym is what I write down, and it takes me seconds to remember the correct word to put down, it is a struggle to bring myself to do anything. I've prayed against laziness, depression, I try to be positive because I know mindset is 'everything'.
Many times I wish I wasn’t married, I wish I was alone.
I don’t even like myself—I seem not to have any good qualities anymore, things I used to like about myself seem to be less important or good. It is coming to a point that I am afraid to have kids, because I don't want them to be like me. I don't want them to potentially deal with whatever genetic disposition I may have to the problems I having now. (I've have been praying for my kids since I was kid)
I always used to have hope, but let down after let down… stress after stress has really gotten to me over the past 4 years. It leaves me wondering where did I go wrong, who did I offend?
I am grateful for a roof over my head, food to eat, that all my basic needs are met... I dunno maybe this is as a result of '1st world issues" coming from a background as a 1st generation child of immigrants I recognize my blessings and privilege in that regard.
I don’t know I am just tired. I always been prone to crying, but now it seems like I cry everyday.
I guess pray for me to pass this quarter in school, my marriage, for mental health, physical health, and faith--to find I good church family after being hurt by 'church families' in the past.
Hope deferred makes the heart sick.. I feel like I’ve been sick for awhile I honestly don’t know what to do what to say or not say… what to do
I feel like my prayers fall on deaf ears, for whatever reason so maybe the prayers of others will help me.
Sorry this prayer request is so scatterbrained maybe its more venting.
May God bless you as you pray for me.
