Silas
Beloved of All
Thank you for pouring out your heart so honestly and for bringing this burden before the Lord with so much Scripture. Your desire to see God work for genuine repentance, healing and holiness is right, and your willingness to keep praying when answers have not yet come is itself a mark of faith.
God is not finished with anyone who is still breathing, and it is good to remember that He who began a good work is faithful to complete it. At the same time Scripture makes a clear distinction between sorrow and repentance. Worldly sorrow can feel regret, can even weep over consequences, and yet bring death because nothing changes. Godly sorrow works a real change of mind and direction, a turning away from sin and a turning to God that shows itself in a new life. That is what you are praying for when you ask that she would come to her senses as the prodigal did, acknowledge sin against God and against others, humble herself, and be willing to take the lowest place rather than defend herself. If that work happens, it will be evident because repentance always brings change.
You have asked for the Holy Spirit to convict, for a hedge of thorns to block wrong paths, for clarity and wisdom, and for the church and family to step in according to Matthew 18. Those are biblical requests. Jesus taught that when a brother or sister is caught in sin, the first thought should always be restoration. Go privately, then with one or two others, then tell it to the church, not to shame but to rescue. The purpose of that loving confrontation, and even of being put outside fellowship if there is no listening, is so the seriousness of sin is felt and the person may be restored to fellowship with Christ and His people. The sword that does this work is the Word of God, which is living and sharp and able to expose the heart. Pray that those who love her will speak that Word gently and firmly, watching themselves lest they also be tempted, desiring not to win an argument but to see a soul escape the snare of the devil who holds people captive to do his will.
It is right to pray that the Lord would block ways that lead to adultery and impurity. Hosea shows God hedging a way with thorns so that lovers cannot be overtaken, not to punish for its own sake but to bring a person to the place where she remembers the Lord and returns. Pray also that God would grant what only He can give, a knowledge of Himself. Knowledge alone puffs up, but the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and to hate evil and to love what is good comes from knowing Him. Ask that love would abound with all knowledge and discernment, so that choices are made for what is excellent, blameless and fruitful for the day of Christ, and that all involved would be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding to walk worthy of Him.
You have prayed for inner healing and for deliverance from temptation, lies, evil men and the evil one himself. God is our Shepherd who restores the soul and leads in paths of righteousness, and He does heal the wounds that sin leaves. Yet the pattern in Scripture is not to look to church history or to human experience as the model, but to the teaching of the apostles and the life of the early church where sin was called sin, where leaven was purged so the whole lump would not be leavened, and where holiness and power went together. Even when systems become corrupt, the Lord always keeps a true witness who hears what the Spirit says to the churches, and to most of those churches His word was repent.
Your prayer reflects the patience of the father of the prodigal, who waited with compassion while not excusing sin. That patience is meant to reflect God's own kindness which leads to repentance, for He is not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance, though there remains wrath and distress for every soul that persists in doing evil. It is also right to remember the warning that the fear of man is a snare, and that those who shepherd must fear God more than people and tremble at His Word. Pray that pastors, family and friends would love her enough to speak truth with reverence for God and for His covenant, not negligently but with zeal, so that she might flee youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart, and so that others also might learn to fear sinning.
As you continue to pray, keep your own heart before the Lord as well. Ask for ever increasing clarity and wisdom for yourself, for deliverance from temptation and for a walk that is above reproach. If God does a holy work in her and makes clean what was unclean, that is His prerogative, for with God what is impossible with man becomes possible. Until then, remember the call not to be unequally yoked and that two cannot walk together unless they are agreed. A shared vision to follow Christ, to honor marriage as a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, and to keep sexual intimacy within that covenant is not an extra detail but the foundation. Any future must be built on both lives being truly born again and submitted to that same Lord.
Continue to ask, seek and knock, trusting that God hears and that He works to give a hope and a future according to His will, not ours. Pray with faith that He will answer according to what is best, willing to accept His answer as He gives wisdom generously to those who ask. Keep your prayers gentle, firm, humble and hopeful, entrusting her to the Lord who convicts, who heals, who restores, and who alone can grant repentance unto life.
God is not finished with anyone who is still breathing, and it is good to remember that He who began a good work is faithful to complete it. At the same time Scripture makes a clear distinction between sorrow and repentance. Worldly sorrow can feel regret, can even weep over consequences, and yet bring death because nothing changes. Godly sorrow works a real change of mind and direction, a turning away from sin and a turning to God that shows itself in a new life. That is what you are praying for when you ask that she would come to her senses as the prodigal did, acknowledge sin against God and against others, humble herself, and be willing to take the lowest place rather than defend herself. If that work happens, it will be evident because repentance always brings change.
You have asked for the Holy Spirit to convict, for a hedge of thorns to block wrong paths, for clarity and wisdom, and for the church and family to step in according to Matthew 18. Those are biblical requests. Jesus taught that when a brother or sister is caught in sin, the first thought should always be restoration. Go privately, then with one or two others, then tell it to the church, not to shame but to rescue. The purpose of that loving confrontation, and even of being put outside fellowship if there is no listening, is so the seriousness of sin is felt and the person may be restored to fellowship with Christ and His people. The sword that does this work is the Word of God, which is living and sharp and able to expose the heart. Pray that those who love her will speak that Word gently and firmly, watching themselves lest they also be tempted, desiring not to win an argument but to see a soul escape the snare of the devil who holds people captive to do his will.
It is right to pray that the Lord would block ways that lead to adultery and impurity. Hosea shows God hedging a way with thorns so that lovers cannot be overtaken, not to punish for its own sake but to bring a person to the place where she remembers the Lord and returns. Pray also that God would grant what only He can give, a knowledge of Himself. Knowledge alone puffs up, but the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and to hate evil and to love what is good comes from knowing Him. Ask that love would abound with all knowledge and discernment, so that choices are made for what is excellent, blameless and fruitful for the day of Christ, and that all involved would be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding to walk worthy of Him.
You have prayed for inner healing and for deliverance from temptation, lies, evil men and the evil one himself. God is our Shepherd who restores the soul and leads in paths of righteousness, and He does heal the wounds that sin leaves. Yet the pattern in Scripture is not to look to church history or to human experience as the model, but to the teaching of the apostles and the life of the early church where sin was called sin, where leaven was purged so the whole lump would not be leavened, and where holiness and power went together. Even when systems become corrupt, the Lord always keeps a true witness who hears what the Spirit says to the churches, and to most of those churches His word was repent.
Your prayer reflects the patience of the father of the prodigal, who waited with compassion while not excusing sin. That patience is meant to reflect God's own kindness which leads to repentance, for He is not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance, though there remains wrath and distress for every soul that persists in doing evil. It is also right to remember the warning that the fear of man is a snare, and that those who shepherd must fear God more than people and tremble at His Word. Pray that pastors, family and friends would love her enough to speak truth with reverence for God and for His covenant, not negligently but with zeal, so that she might flee youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart, and so that others also might learn to fear sinning.
As you continue to pray, keep your own heart before the Lord as well. Ask for ever increasing clarity and wisdom for yourself, for deliverance from temptation and for a walk that is above reproach. If God does a holy work in her and makes clean what was unclean, that is His prerogative, for with God what is impossible with man becomes possible. Until then, remember the call not to be unequally yoked and that two cannot walk together unless they are agreed. A shared vision to follow Christ, to honor marriage as a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, and to keep sexual intimacy within that covenant is not an extra detail but the foundation. Any future must be built on both lives being truly born again and submitted to that same Lord.
Continue to ask, seek and knock, trusting that God hears and that He works to give a hope and a future according to His will, not ours. Pray with faith that He will answer according to what is best, willing to accept His answer as He gives wisdom generously to those who ask. Keep your prayers gentle, firm, humble and hopeful, entrusting her to the Lord who convicts, who heals, who restores, and who alone can grant repentance unto life.
