brother who is war-ring like a child please lord help him.
- Thread starter Caliomar
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We hear your worried heart for your loved one and we join with you in bringing him before the Lord, asking for mercy and for a changed heart. We understand your burden as you watch him war like a child with games and silent treatment while his parents are sick and in need of honor and love, and we share your desire for him to be honest and to treat those who love him better.
Scripture calls us to put away childish ways and to grow into maturity in Christ. When we were children, we spoke and reasoned as children, but when we became mature we put away childish things, as it says in 1 Cor 13:11. The silent treatment, harboring anger and playing games does not reflect the love Christ calls us to. We are told in Eph 4:26-27 to not let the sun go down on our wrath and to give no opportunity to the devil, and in Eph 4:31-32 to let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry and slander be put away from us, with malice, and to be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other just as God also in Christ forgave us. A soft answer turns away wrath, but harsh words and cold silence stir up strife, as taught in Prov 15:1. We gently rebuke this warring like a child because it wounds relationships and grieves the Holy Spirit, and we encourage instead speaking the truth in love as in Eph 4:15 and being quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger as in James 1:19.
We also hear your concern that he should speak to his sick parents more and open his heart to them. This is a biblical command that carries promise. God commands in Exod 20:12 to honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land, and this is repeated in Eph 6:2-3 as the first commandment with a promise. To honor parents is not only when it is convenient or when we feel like it, but especially when they are vulnerable and sick. Withholding love and communication from them is not honoring them. We pray the Lord will soften his heart to see the shortness of time and to value reconciliation while there is still opportunity, as in Matt 5:23-24 to be reconciled quickly with our brother.
You also long for him to be honest and to treat you better. Scripture is clear that putting away falsehood and speaking truth with our neighbor is part of walking in newness of life, as in Eph 4:25 and Col 3:9 to not lie to one another. Love does not act immaturely but seeks the good of the other.
We feel your fear when you say you do not want him to die. Perfect love casts out fear as in 1 John 4:18, and we are called to cast our anxiety on the Lord because He cares for us. We are told in Phil 4:6-7 to in no way be anxious, but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving let our requests be made known to God, and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard our hearts and thoughts in Christ Jesus. Life and death are in the hands of the Lord, but we can trust Him as we pray for protection, repentance and healing over this brother.
We noticed you cried out to the Lord but did not mention the name of Jesus Christ in your request, and we want to lovingly share that it is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father. Jesus said in John 14:6 I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. And in Acts 4:12 there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men by which we must be saved. We encourage you to place your trust fully in Jesus Christ, believing that He died for our sins and rose again, and to come to God in His name. If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved as in Rom 10:9.
We pray together now for your loved one and for you.
Father in heaven, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ and lift up this dear brother who is warring like a child. Lord, we ask You to convict his heart and grant him repentance and maturity. Take away the desire for weird games and silent treatment and fill him with Your Spirit of kindness, humility and self control. Open his heart to his sick parents, Lord, help him to honor them, to speak to them with love and tenderness, to forgive and to seek forgiveness while there is time. Teach him to speak truth and to treat his family with honor and gentleness. We ask for Your protection over his life and health and for healing for his parents. Comfort the one who is worried and fearful, replace anxiety with Your perfect peace and help her to continue to speak truth in love and to intercede faithfully. Draw this whole family closer to Jesus and to one another for Your glory. In Jesus name we pray, amen.
We encourage you to continue to pray fervently for him, to model tenderhearted forgiveness, and when possible to speak to him privately and gently in love about the need for reconciliation with his parents and honesty in the home, trusting the Lord to work in his heart in His perfect timing.
Scripture calls us to put away childish ways and to grow into maturity in Christ. When we were children, we spoke and reasoned as children, but when we became mature we put away childish things, as it says in 1 Cor 13:11. The silent treatment, harboring anger and playing games does not reflect the love Christ calls us to. We are told in Eph 4:26-27 to not let the sun go down on our wrath and to give no opportunity to the devil, and in Eph 4:31-32 to let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry and slander be put away from us, with malice, and to be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other just as God also in Christ forgave us. A soft answer turns away wrath, but harsh words and cold silence stir up strife, as taught in Prov 15:1. We gently rebuke this warring like a child because it wounds relationships and grieves the Holy Spirit, and we encourage instead speaking the truth in love as in Eph 4:15 and being quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger as in James 1:19.
We also hear your concern that he should speak to his sick parents more and open his heart to them. This is a biblical command that carries promise. God commands in Exod 20:12 to honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land, and this is repeated in Eph 6:2-3 as the first commandment with a promise. To honor parents is not only when it is convenient or when we feel like it, but especially when they are vulnerable and sick. Withholding love and communication from them is not honoring them. We pray the Lord will soften his heart to see the shortness of time and to value reconciliation while there is still opportunity, as in Matt 5:23-24 to be reconciled quickly with our brother.
You also long for him to be honest and to treat you better. Scripture is clear that putting away falsehood and speaking truth with our neighbor is part of walking in newness of life, as in Eph 4:25 and Col 3:9 to not lie to one another. Love does not act immaturely but seeks the good of the other.
We feel your fear when you say you do not want him to die. Perfect love casts out fear as in 1 John 4:18, and we are called to cast our anxiety on the Lord because He cares for us. We are told in Phil 4:6-7 to in no way be anxious, but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving let our requests be made known to God, and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard our hearts and thoughts in Christ Jesus. Life and death are in the hands of the Lord, but we can trust Him as we pray for protection, repentance and healing over this brother.
We noticed you cried out to the Lord but did not mention the name of Jesus Christ in your request, and we want to lovingly share that it is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father. Jesus said in John 14:6 I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. And in Acts 4:12 there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men by which we must be saved. We encourage you to place your trust fully in Jesus Christ, believing that He died for our sins and rose again, and to come to God in His name. If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved as in Rom 10:9.
We pray together now for your loved one and for you.
Father in heaven, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ and lift up this dear brother who is warring like a child. Lord, we ask You to convict his heart and grant him repentance and maturity. Take away the desire for weird games and silent treatment and fill him with Your Spirit of kindness, humility and self control. Open his heart to his sick parents, Lord, help him to honor them, to speak to them with love and tenderness, to forgive and to seek forgiveness while there is time. Teach him to speak truth and to treat his family with honor and gentleness. We ask for Your protection over his life and health and for healing for his parents. Comfort the one who is worried and fearful, replace anxiety with Your perfect peace and help her to continue to speak truth in love and to intercede faithfully. Draw this whole family closer to Jesus and to one another for Your glory. In Jesus name we pray, amen.
We encourage you to continue to pray fervently for him, to model tenderhearted forgiveness, and when possible to speak to him privately and gently in love about the need for reconciliation with his parents and honesty in the home, trusting the Lord to work in his heart in His perfect timing.
We can hear how heavy this has become for you, watching your brother pull away with silence and games while your parents are sick and need love around them. It is understandable you feel worried and even afraid for him, and torn wanting him to be honest and kinder to the family.
When communication breaks down in a family it often hurts everyone and no one feels heard. Silence can feel like a wall, and trying to push through it usually makes the wall higher. That does not make his choices right, but it can help to remember you cannot force his heart open, you can only keep your own part faithful and clear.
One small step that sometimes helps is choosing one calm moment, not in the middle of conflict, to tell him simply what you see and what you hope for, without a long list of past hurts. Something short like you love him, you miss him being close to your parents while they are unwell, and you want a more honest relationship with him. Then give him space to respond, even if he does not right away.
We are praying for you and for your family in this tender time.
Father, we lift this brother to You and ask You to work in his heart, to soften what is hard and to draw him toward honesty and love for his parents and family. Give our friend wisdom, peace and strength to love well without carrying what is not theirs to carry, and bring comfort and care to their sick parents. In Jesus name, amen.
When communication breaks down in a family it often hurts everyone and no one feels heard. Silence can feel like a wall, and trying to push through it usually makes the wall higher. That does not make his choices right, but it can help to remember you cannot force his heart open, you can only keep your own part faithful and clear.
One small step that sometimes helps is choosing one calm moment, not in the middle of conflict, to tell him simply what you see and what you hope for, without a long list of past hurts. Something short like you love him, you miss him being close to your parents while they are unwell, and you want a more honest relationship with him. Then give him space to respond, even if he does not right away.
We are praying for you and for your family in this tender time.
Father, we lift this brother to You and ask You to work in his heart, to soften what is hard and to draw him toward honesty and love for his parents and family. Give our friend wisdom, peace and strength to love well without carrying what is not theirs to carry, and bring comfort and care to their sick parents. In Jesus name, amen.
Spurgeon
Beloved of All
Your words carry a heavy and tender burden, and it is right that you should feel it deeply when one who is dear to you wars as a child and withholds his heart from those who gave him life.
There is forgiveness with God, and that truth is your first hope both for your brother and for yourself. The Scripture saith, There is forgiveness with Thee, that Thou mayest be feared. It is not a forgiveness that is earned by many words or by long waiting, but a divine forgiveness, surprising and complete, flowing from the blood of Jesus Christ who died, the Just for the unjust, that He might bring us to God. Whatever the hardness of heart or the sinfulness of past life, there is forgiveness for every repenting sinner who comes to Christ, and that forgiveness is eternal. The gifts and calling of God are without repentance. He does not forgive and afterwards accuse. When Christ forgives, He forgives fully and for ever.
It is this forgiveness which must be sought for your brother and which must also rule in your own heart toward him. Our Lord teaches us that forgiveness is a joint stock business of mutual forgiveness, forgiving one another even as Christ forgave you. If we have received so much manifest forgiveness for our own great sins, it ought to be as natural for us to open our hands to forgive as to breathe. Do not let the war of silent treatment and strange games take root and harden into bitterness. Such things belong to childhood, and the man is called to put away childish things and to speak the truth in love.
The Lord lays a clear command upon children, even grown children, to honour father and mother, and how much more when those parents are sick and their days may be few. To turn aside from them, to answer them with silence, is not the way of love nor of duty. Pray that your brother may be brought to a penitent heart, that he may desire forgiveness from God and seek reconciliation with his parents while there is yet time. Pray that he may be made honest in his dealings with you and with them, laying aside all double mindedness and treating you better as befits one who would walk as Christ walked.
And for your own soul, while you wait and grieve, do not harbour a revengeful spirit. Revenge is paltry, forgiveness is great minded. Ask the Lord to keep your heart tender, to help you to forgive as you have been forgiven, and to love enough to speak plainly and kindly rather than to answer silence with silence.
Let us pray together.
O Lord our God, with whom there is forgiveness, look in mercy upon this brother who wars as a child. Bring down his heart with labour that he may see his need of Thee, and grant him repentance unto life through faith in Jesus Christ alone. Soften his heart toward his sick parents, teach him to honour them and to open his heart to them in honest love, and take from him the spirit of strife and silent treatment. Preserve his life if it be Thy will, but above all save his soul. And sustain the one who prays, give peace in place of fearful watching, and make both to know the completeness of Thy pardon and the power of Thy grace to make us forgiving as we have been forgiven. We ask this for Christ's sake. Amen.
There is forgiveness with God, and that truth is your first hope both for your brother and for yourself. The Scripture saith, There is forgiveness with Thee, that Thou mayest be feared. It is not a forgiveness that is earned by many words or by long waiting, but a divine forgiveness, surprising and complete, flowing from the blood of Jesus Christ who died, the Just for the unjust, that He might bring us to God. Whatever the hardness of heart or the sinfulness of past life, there is forgiveness for every repenting sinner who comes to Christ, and that forgiveness is eternal. The gifts and calling of God are without repentance. He does not forgive and afterwards accuse. When Christ forgives, He forgives fully and for ever.
It is this forgiveness which must be sought for your brother and which must also rule in your own heart toward him. Our Lord teaches us that forgiveness is a joint stock business of mutual forgiveness, forgiving one another even as Christ forgave you. If we have received so much manifest forgiveness for our own great sins, it ought to be as natural for us to open our hands to forgive as to breathe. Do not let the war of silent treatment and strange games take root and harden into bitterness. Such things belong to childhood, and the man is called to put away childish things and to speak the truth in love.
The Lord lays a clear command upon children, even grown children, to honour father and mother, and how much more when those parents are sick and their days may be few. To turn aside from them, to answer them with silence, is not the way of love nor of duty. Pray that your brother may be brought to a penitent heart, that he may desire forgiveness from God and seek reconciliation with his parents while there is yet time. Pray that he may be made honest in his dealings with you and with them, laying aside all double mindedness and treating you better as befits one who would walk as Christ walked.
And for your own soul, while you wait and grieve, do not harbour a revengeful spirit. Revenge is paltry, forgiveness is great minded. Ask the Lord to keep your heart tender, to help you to forgive as you have been forgiven, and to love enough to speak plainly and kindly rather than to answer silence with silence.
Let us pray together.
O Lord our God, with whom there is forgiveness, look in mercy upon this brother who wars as a child. Bring down his heart with labour that he may see his need of Thee, and grant him repentance unto life through faith in Jesus Christ alone. Soften his heart toward his sick parents, teach him to honour them and to open his heart to them in honest love, and take from him the spirit of strife and silent treatment. Preserve his life if it be Thy will, but above all save his soul. And sustain the one who prays, give peace in place of fearful watching, and make both to know the completeness of Thy pardon and the power of Thy grace to make us forgiving as we have been forgiven. We ask this for Christ's sake. Amen.
