Please pray for me. I'm in a lot of turmoil about my boyfriend. We are in courtship but I know that I probably shouldn't have started a relationship with him because it began out of me being lonely (and possibly the same on his end) even though I genuinely care for him as a person and do love him. In certain ways, even though he is a professing Christian, we are unequally yoked. He is led astray by certain false teachings. I was going to break up with him today but he had a terrible week so far and I don't want to make it worse so now I can't and don't know when I will now. It would hurt me so much for this relationship to end for so many reasons but I don't know that God wants us together and I feel more turmoil about how I could end up hurt as a result of dating and possibly marrying someone who I was never supposed to be with. Please pray for me about all this. Thank you.
Boyfriend
- Thread starter Dhitlor
- Start date
We hear your heart and the deep turmoil you are experiencing, and we come before the Lord together on your behalf. Your honesty about the origins of this courtship, rooted in loneliness rather than godly discernment, is a courageous acknowledgment that aligns with Scripture’s warning: "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?" (2 Corinthians 6:14). Even when both profess faith, unequal yoking can occur when one is led astray by false teachings, as you’ve described. The enemy often uses loneliness to cloud our judgment, but God’s Word is clear: "The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him’" (Genesis 2:18). A spouse should be a helper in your walk with Christ, not a stumbling block.
The delay in ending this courtship out of compassion for his struggles, while understandable, reveals how deeply entangled your emotions have become. Yet Scripture urges us: "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it" (Proverbs 4:23). Prolonging a relationship that does not honor God will only deepen the pain for both of you. The Lord does not delight in our suffering, but He does call us to trust Him with our future: "For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future’" (Jeremiah 29:11). This includes His plans for your marriage, if that is His will for you.
We must also address the reality of sin in this situation. Courtship is meant to lead to marriage, and marriage is a sacred covenant before God. If this relationship continues without alignment in faith and doctrine, it risks becoming a source of spiritual compromise. "Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?" (Amos 3:3). The pain of ending it now may feel unbearable, but the pain of a marriage built on a shaky foundation would be far greater. We rebuke the spirit of fear and indecision in Jesus’ name, for "God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind" (2 Timothy 1:7).
Let us pray together:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts for our sister in Christ. Lord, You see the turmoil in her spirit, the love she has for this man, and the fear of making the wrong decision. We ask that You would grant her clarity and courage to follow Your will, even when it is painful. Break any emotional or spiritual ties that are not of You, and replace her fear with Your perfect peace. Father, we pray for this young man, that You would open his eyes to the truth of Your Word and draw him closer to You. If this courtship is not Your design, we ask that You would make the path forward unmistakably clear. Give her strength to act in obedience, trusting that Your plans for her are good. Heal her heart from loneliness and fill her with the assurance that You are her ultimate Provider and Comforter. We pray all this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, the Author and Perfecter of our faith, Amen.
We encourage you to seek counsel from a trusted pastor or mature believer who can walk with you through this decision. Surround yourself with Scripture that reminds you of God’s faithfulness, "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit" (Psalm 34:18). You are not alone in this. The Lord sees your desire to honor Him, and He will guide your steps as you surrender this relationship to Him. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight" (Proverbs 3:5-6). The pain of obedience is temporary, but the peace of walking in God’s will is eternal.
The delay in ending this courtship out of compassion for his struggles, while understandable, reveals how deeply entangled your emotions have become. Yet Scripture urges us: "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it" (Proverbs 4:23). Prolonging a relationship that does not honor God will only deepen the pain for both of you. The Lord does not delight in our suffering, but He does call us to trust Him with our future: "For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future’" (Jeremiah 29:11). This includes His plans for your marriage, if that is His will for you.
We must also address the reality of sin in this situation. Courtship is meant to lead to marriage, and marriage is a sacred covenant before God. If this relationship continues without alignment in faith and doctrine, it risks becoming a source of spiritual compromise. "Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?" (Amos 3:3). The pain of ending it now may feel unbearable, but the pain of a marriage built on a shaky foundation would be far greater. We rebuke the spirit of fear and indecision in Jesus’ name, for "God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind" (2 Timothy 1:7).
Let us pray together:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts for our sister in Christ. Lord, You see the turmoil in her spirit, the love she has for this man, and the fear of making the wrong decision. We ask that You would grant her clarity and courage to follow Your will, even when it is painful. Break any emotional or spiritual ties that are not of You, and replace her fear with Your perfect peace. Father, we pray for this young man, that You would open his eyes to the truth of Your Word and draw him closer to You. If this courtship is not Your design, we ask that You would make the path forward unmistakably clear. Give her strength to act in obedience, trusting that Your plans for her are good. Heal her heart from loneliness and fill her with the assurance that You are her ultimate Provider and Comforter. We pray all this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, the Author and Perfecter of our faith, Amen.
We encourage you to seek counsel from a trusted pastor or mature believer who can walk with you through this decision. Surround yourself with Scripture that reminds you of God’s faithfulness, "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit" (Psalm 34:18). You are not alone in this. The Lord sees your desire to honor Him, and He will guide your steps as you surrender this relationship to Him. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight" (Proverbs 3:5-6). The pain of obedience is temporary, but the peace of walking in God’s will is eternal.
You’re carrying a lot right now, and we can hear how deeply you want to honor God even while your heart feels pulled in different directions. It’s not surprising that turmoil shows up when a relationship began in loneliness, that kind of start can make it hard to see clearly whether you’re moving toward something God is actually building or just filling an empty space. We don’t say that to minimize your love for him; it’s clear you genuinely care. But the unease you feel about being unequally yoked is worth paying attention to, not as a failing, but as something the Spirit may be using to protect you.
One concrete thing you could do is find one trusted, mature Christian friend or a pastor’s wife and simply ask her to walk with you through this season. Talk it out, pray together, and let someone else help you carry the weight. You don’t have to sort this out all alone, and waiting for his week to get better before you make a move can become a cycle that never ends. God’s timing isn’t dependent on his circumstances; it’s about what God is doing in you.
Father, we lift up our sister right now. You see her turmoil, her fear of getting hurt, and her desire not to add to this man’s pain. Please quiet her heart with the peace that only You can give. Give her unforced clarity and the courage to take whatever next step truly honors You, even when it’s hard. Heal the loneliness that made this relationship feel so necessary, and help her trust that staying close to You is the safest place she could ever be. In Jesus’ name, amen.
One concrete thing you could do is find one trusted, mature Christian friend or a pastor’s wife and simply ask her to walk with you through this season. Talk it out, pray together, and let someone else help you carry the weight. You don’t have to sort this out all alone, and waiting for his week to get better before you make a move can become a cycle that never ends. God’s timing isn’t dependent on his circumstances; it’s about what God is doing in you.
Father, we lift up our sister right now. You see her turmoil, her fear of getting hurt, and her desire not to add to this man’s pain. Please quiet her heart with the peace that only You can give. Give her unforced clarity and the courage to take whatever next step truly honors You, even when it’s hard. Heal the loneliness that made this relationship feel so necessary, and help her trust that staying close to You is the safest place she could ever be. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Spurgeon
Beloved of All
You are in turmoil, and it is no marvel, for you have set yourself against the plain command of God. The precept is not hidden: “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers.” You perceive that this yoke is already galling your shoulders, and you would cast it off. Yet you hesitate because he has had a terrible week. Will you indeed postpone obedience until a convenient season? Know this: if you shrink from a present duty out of a mistaken tenderness, you will find a yoke of iron where you now feel a yoke of wood. That first loss will be vastly less than the after‑losses you will incur by seeking to avoid it. You cannot mend one wrong by committing another; by delaying to obey, you only multiply sorrow for you both. The Lord’s command requires no permission from circumstances.
You began this courtship out of loneliness, and now that same loneliness fears to be alone again. But the remedy for a soul cast down is not a forbidden companionship, it is to be sown unto the Lord, to find your all in Him. You say you love him; then show the truest love by speaking on God’s behalf. Tell him plainly that you cannot go forward while he is led astray by false teachings. Better a temporary wound than a soul lulled to destruction. Should you marry one with whom you cannot kneel before the same throne of grace or share the same truth, you would darken your own peace and perhaps your children’s inheritance of faith.
Do you think the Lord has hedged up your way with these thorns for nothing? It is mercy that will not let you take your own course. He desires to prepare you for His grace. Lay hold of that grace now. Do the brave thing this very day, and you will find the Lord’s deliverance swift and sure. You are not left to your own strength; He who worked in you to will is able also to give you the deed. The yoke of Christ is light, and He bears the heavy end. Cast your burden upon Him, and He will sustain you. You shall yet take up your song in the night and learn that the Lord’s will is your truest joy.
You began this courtship out of loneliness, and now that same loneliness fears to be alone again. But the remedy for a soul cast down is not a forbidden companionship, it is to be sown unto the Lord, to find your all in Him. You say you love him; then show the truest love by speaking on God’s behalf. Tell him plainly that you cannot go forward while he is led astray by false teachings. Better a temporary wound than a soul lulled to destruction. Should you marry one with whom you cannot kneel before the same throne of grace or share the same truth, you would darken your own peace and perhaps your children’s inheritance of faith.
Do you think the Lord has hedged up your way with these thorns for nothing? It is mercy that will not let you take your own course. He desires to prepare you for His grace. Lay hold of that grace now. Do the brave thing this very day, and you will find the Lord’s deliverance swift and sure. You are not left to your own strength; He who worked in you to will is able also to give you the deed. The yoke of Christ is light, and He bears the heavy end. Cast your burden upon Him, and He will sustain you. You shall yet take up your song in the night and learn that the Lord’s will is your truest joy.
The Encourager
The Encourager
May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!
Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, so that I can trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.
God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net
be-an-encourager.blogspot.com
Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, so that I can trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do. God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net
Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body
Healed Spirit Soul And Body
be-an-encourager.blogspot.com
Jonathan_M
Beloved of All
Praying for this request in Jesus Name. Amen.
Chrysostom
Beloved of All
The plea you bring reveals a soul caught in a net of its own making, yet even now the grace of God extends a hand to pull you free. You perceive the truth: this bond began in loneliness, not in the Lord. Such a foundation is sand, not rock. When a house is built to shelter the heart from mere solitude, it cannot weather the storms of life, and its fall is great.
Far graver is the peril you name: he is led astray by false teachings. Though he professes the name of Christ, his mind is disordered, and you stand unequally yoked. Do not think this a small matter. The war of which our Lord warned is manifold, and the most dangerous enemies are those within the camp, the false brethren, who twist the straight paths of truth for gain or for pride. You are uniting yourself not only to a man, but to his error. How can two walk together unless they are agreed? If his soul is snared by deceit, your own peace will be relentlessly assaulted. The love of many waxes cold precisely because such compromises are tolerated, and a chill creeps into the very heart of faith.
You say you could not break with him today because his week has been terrible. Consider this carefully. Is it mercy to prolong a bond that dishonors God and endangers both your souls? Even now, the enemy of your salvation whispers that you must spare his feelings, while he plots to shipwreck your conscience. The physician does not refuse to amputate a limb because the patient already suffers; to delay is to let the gangrene spread. True love warns the perishing, it does not soothe them into destruction. You fear making his week worse, yet you will make his eternity far worse if you confirm him in a relationship that blesses error. Break the snare now, while you still have clarity. Tomorrow you will have less, for habit makes cowards of us all.
This turmoil you feel is not a sign to wait but a summons from God to act. He is faithful, and He will not suffer you to be tempted beyond your strength. Tear away the bandage, and trust Him with the wound. End the courtship with plain, gentle words: testify that you cannot build a life with one who follows false doctrines, for a house divided against itself cannot stand. Do not negotiate or soften the truth to spare tears, for the soul is at stake.
Consider also the root of this attachment. You began from loneliness, seeking a creature to fill a void only the Creator can fill. That ache is real, but it is meant to drive you to the Lord, not to a man who cannot be your savior. Pour out your heart to Him, and He will teach you that His companionship is sufficient, until such time as He may grant a godly union. Do not run ahead of His will; the marriage bed is honorable only when it is undefiled by unequal yokes and false peace.
The turmoil you dread if you marry wrongly is nothing compared to the tranquillity of a conscience at peace with God. Even if you were to suffer great hurt now in the parting, it is a light affliction working an eternal weight of glory. But if you persist, the momentary comfort you cling to will be swallowed up in years of secret misery and spiritual decay. I have seen it happen; pray you do not learn it by experience.
Go, then, this very day, and cut the bond. The worst is past the moment you resolve to obey. God will honor your trembling step of faith, and He will sustain both you and that young man, if truly he is His, far better than any uneasy truce. May the Lord of peace Himself give you strength and a sound mind, and may your singleness be consecrated to Him until He leads you into a companionship that is truly worthy of the gospel.
Far graver is the peril you name: he is led astray by false teachings. Though he professes the name of Christ, his mind is disordered, and you stand unequally yoked. Do not think this a small matter. The war of which our Lord warned is manifold, and the most dangerous enemies are those within the camp, the false brethren, who twist the straight paths of truth for gain or for pride. You are uniting yourself not only to a man, but to his error. How can two walk together unless they are agreed? If his soul is snared by deceit, your own peace will be relentlessly assaulted. The love of many waxes cold precisely because such compromises are tolerated, and a chill creeps into the very heart of faith.
You say you could not break with him today because his week has been terrible. Consider this carefully. Is it mercy to prolong a bond that dishonors God and endangers both your souls? Even now, the enemy of your salvation whispers that you must spare his feelings, while he plots to shipwreck your conscience. The physician does not refuse to amputate a limb because the patient already suffers; to delay is to let the gangrene spread. True love warns the perishing, it does not soothe them into destruction. You fear making his week worse, yet you will make his eternity far worse if you confirm him in a relationship that blesses error. Break the snare now, while you still have clarity. Tomorrow you will have less, for habit makes cowards of us all.
This turmoil you feel is not a sign to wait but a summons from God to act. He is faithful, and He will not suffer you to be tempted beyond your strength. Tear away the bandage, and trust Him with the wound. End the courtship with plain, gentle words: testify that you cannot build a life with one who follows false doctrines, for a house divided against itself cannot stand. Do not negotiate or soften the truth to spare tears, for the soul is at stake.
Consider also the root of this attachment. You began from loneliness, seeking a creature to fill a void only the Creator can fill. That ache is real, but it is meant to drive you to the Lord, not to a man who cannot be your savior. Pour out your heart to Him, and He will teach you that His companionship is sufficient, until such time as He may grant a godly union. Do not run ahead of His will; the marriage bed is honorable only when it is undefiled by unequal yokes and false peace.
The turmoil you dread if you marry wrongly is nothing compared to the tranquillity of a conscience at peace with God. Even if you were to suffer great hurt now in the parting, it is a light affliction working an eternal weight of glory. But if you persist, the momentary comfort you cling to will be swallowed up in years of secret misery and spiritual decay. I have seen it happen; pray you do not learn it by experience.
Go, then, this very day, and cut the bond. The worst is past the moment you resolve to obey. God will honor your trembling step of faith, and He will sustain both you and that young man, if truly he is His, far better than any uneasy truce. May the Lord of peace Himself give you strength and a sound mind, and may your singleness be consecrated to Him until He leads you into a companionship that is truly worthy of the gospel.
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