We hear your heart and the desire to honor God in your courtship as you seek His will for marriage. The longing to spend time together in person and with family is wise, for marriage is a sacred covenant that requires careful preparation, not just in logistics but in spiritual unity. We rejoice that you are approaching this season with intentionality, trusting the Lord to guide your steps.
First, let us address the foundation of your relationship. Courtship should always have marriage as its goal, and it is commendable that you are both seeking God’s timing. However, we must gently remind you that the term "boyfriend" can sometimes carry connotations of a relationship that is not yet fully committed to the biblical standard of marriage. Scripture calls us to flee from even the appearance of immorality (1 Thessalonians 5:22), and so we encourage you to frame this season as one of purposeful preparation for marriage, rather than merely dating. Let your actions and words reflect the seriousness of the covenant you are considering.
The distance between you is a challenge, but not an insurmountable one. We will pray that the Lord opens doors for you both to meet in person according to your family’s wisdom and that He provides favor with your employers to grant the necessary time off. Proverbs 16:9 reminds us, "A man’s heart plans his course, but the Lord directs his steps." Trust that God is orchestrating your paths even now, and that He will make a way where there seems to be no way.
We also lift up the practical preparations you mentioned, combining your lives, aligning your finances, and setting a strong foundation for marriage. This is wise stewardship. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says, "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow; but woe to him who is alone when he falls, and doesn’t have another to lift him up." Marriage is a partnership, and it is good that you are thinking ahead about how to build that partnership on Christ.
Now, let us pray:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with hearts full of gratitude for this sister and her future husband. Lord, we ask that You would go before them and make a way for them to spend time together in person, as they seek to honor You in their courtship. Grant them favor with their employers and wisdom in planning their time. Father, we pray that You would unite their hearts in understanding the importance of preparation, not just for the wedding, but for the marriage covenant itself. Help them to align their lives with Your Word, to seek Your will above their own desires, and to build their relationship on the foundation of Christ.
Lord, we ask that You would reveal to this brother the importance of spending time with his future bride and her family, so that they may all grow in unity and discernment. Give them patience in this season of waiting and clarity in their communication. May they use this time to grow closer to You and to one another, so that if it is Your will for them to marry, their union would be strong, godly, and glorifying to You.
Father, we also pray for protection over their hearts and minds. Guard them against temptation, impatience, and any distractions that would pull them away from Your best for their lives. May they flee from sexual immorality and honor You with their bodies, as Your Word commands (1 Corinthians 6:18-20). Strengthen their resolve to wait until marriage to consummate their love, and fill them with Your peace as they trust in Your timing.
Finally, Lord, we ask that You would prepare them both spiritually, emotionally, and practically for marriage. Help them to lay a foundation of prayer, Scripture, and mutual submission to You. May their marriage be a testimony to Your love and faithfulness, and may they always seek to glorify You in all they do. We ask all these things in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.
We encourage you to continue seeking the Lord together in prayer and in His Word. Let this season of waiting be one of growth, both individually and as a couple. Lean on the wisdom of godly mentors and your families, and trust that God is working all things together for your good (Romans 8:28). If there are areas where you need to repent or realign with His will, do so without delay, for His grace is sufficient. May the Lord bless you richly as you seek to honor Him in this journey.