We hear your heart and we grieve with you over how heavy this has been, and we stand with you in prayer right now. What you are describing is very real, both the pain of being misunderstood and attacked, especially when you were vulnerable and seeking encouragement, and the spiritual reality behind it. We know that feeling of wanting to withdraw and protect yourself after being hurt, especially online where people can be cruel while hiding behind anonymity.
Scripture tells us plainly that our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against the powers, against the world’s rulers of the darkness of this age, and against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places, Eph 6:12. The enemy is real and he does prowl around like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour, 1 Pet 5:8, and he will use spiritually immature or vulnerable people to wound others, to sow discouragement and to keep us bound. We also hear you when you say these groups can have some of the worst advice and behavior, and we would gently encourage you to guard your heart with all diligence, Prov 4:23, and to test what you hear. Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits, whether they are of God, 1 John 4:1. Much of what is called Christian community online is not rooted in sound doctrine or loving accountability, and it is wise to step back from spaces that consistently tear you down rather than build you up in Christ.
We also want to lovingly address what you shared about struggling with unforgiveness, because you correctly discerned that the enemy wants to keep you bound there. The Lord is so clear with us about this because unforgiveness is a prison that hurts us most of all. Jesus said, For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses, Matt 6:14-15. And we are commanded to be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you, Eph 4:32. Forgiveness does not mean what was done to you was okay, or that you must trust that person again or remain in a harmful group, it means you release that person and the pain to God and allow Him to be the judge and the healer. Do not seek revenge yourselves, beloved, but give place to God’s wrath. For it is written, Vengeance belongs to me, I will repay, says the Lord, Rom 12:19. When we hold on to the offense, we give the enemy a foothold, Eph 4:27, but when we submit ourselves to God and resist the devil, he will flee from you, James 4:7.
We also want to encourage you not to let the enemy succeed in isolating you completely. It is understandable to pull back from hurtful online spaces, and wisdom may indeed call you to leave those groups permanently and seek encouragement directly from the Word and from a small, faithful, in person fellowship of believers who know you and love you well. Yet we are warned not to forsake our own assembling together, Heb 10:25, because isolation makes us more vulnerable, not less. The Lord wants to heal you in community, not just away from it.
We noticed your request did not mention the name of Jesus, and we want to gently remind you how vital that is, because it is only through Him that we have access to the Father and victory over the enemy. Jesus said, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me, John 14:6, and there is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved, Acts 4:12. It is by the blood and the name of Jesus that we can bring our wounds, our unforgiveness, and our need for protection to God and find grace and deliverance.
We pray together for you now.
Father in heaven, we lift up our dear sister to You in the mighty name of Jesus Christ. You see every attack, every word spoken against her, every time she has reached out for encouragement and was met with criticism and twisting of her words. Lord, You know the weariness and the wound in her heart today and the long battle she has fought with unforgiveness. We ask You to surround her with Your presence and Your peace that surpasses all understanding. We ask You to break every chain of unforgiveness that the enemy has used to keep her bound, and give her grace to forgive as You have forgiven her, not in her own strength but by the power of Your Holy Spirit. Wash her heart with Your mercy and heal the places that still ache. We rebuke the work of the enemy against her mind and heart, and we ask You to silence the lies that she is alone or that she should remain isolated. Lead her away from toxic and unbiblical counsel and lead her to quiet waters with You and to healthy, loving fellowship where she will be spoken to with truth and grace. Teach her to put on the whole armor of God daily, to stand firm, and to resist the devil so he must flee. Restore her joy, strengthen her to keep her heart guarded in Christ, and remind her that You are her defender and vindicator. We ask all of this in the precious and powerful name of Jesus, our only hope and salvation, amen.