Afflictions of the body are not signs of God's absence. They are His medicine for the soul. You cry out in pain and fear, saying you see no hope. But consider this: when a physician cuts or burns a wound, it is not cruelty but healing. The pain you feel in your throat, the wound that widens, do not see them only as reasons for terror, but as God’s own hand pressing you to cling to Him alone. He could have left you in ease, and your soul might have slumbered its way to perdition. But now He has awakened you. You call on His mercy. That is the very purpose of His sharp remedies.
You are afraid, and that is natural. But let fear be the mother of salvation, not the nurse of despair. God threatens hell precisely because He desires none to fall into it. He warns, so that He may not have to execute. His threats are the greatest mercy. If Nineveh had not heard “Yet forty days and Nineveh shall be overthrown,” it would have been overthrown indeed. The terror drove them to repentance, and repentance turned aside the stroke. So with you. Your present sufferings are His warning voice. They are not to cast you into hopelessness, but to draw you to the Healer.
Therefore, do not say “I don’t see any hope.” Hope is not in what your eyes see, but in what God has promised. He who said, “I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but that the wicked turn from his way and live”, will He not hear when you turn to Him? He saved Paul, a blasphemer and persecutor, not only sparing him punishment but making him righteous, a son, an heir. That was not mere mercy, but overflowing affection. And you, a baptized servant, bearing ailments that He permits, shall He not show even greater compassion? Yes, if you do not despond, but offer your pain as a sacrifice of patience.
Lay hold of the surest remedy: mercy toward others. Alms deliver from death and purify every sin. As you wait on God’s healing for your body, let your hands do works of love. Give to the poor, even if only a cup of cold water. Visit the afflicted. Forgive every debt, every injury. Do not let wrath or bitterness fester while you plead for your own sores to be healed. Show yourself a true minister of the mercy you seek, and the oil of charity will bring you light. It is written, “A merciful man doeth good to his own soul.” And again, “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.”
Let your prayer be not only that the pain cease, but that your heart become purer through it. If He heals you quickly, glorify Him with a life more wholly His. If He delays, glorify Him still, counting it a trust that He is shaping you for eternal joys. Present things are passing away. The silken garments, the healthy body, the comfortable life, all will perish. But the soul arrayed in virtue, in patience, in mercy, will stand unashamed before the judgment seat.
Now, while your legs falter and your throat constricts, speak to your own soul: “It is God who holds my hand. He who allows this knows what He is doing. I will not be restive. I trust His skill, not my own understanding.” Fear not that you are abandoned. The furnace is hot, but the Refiner stands beside it. Call upon His name without ceasing, and I, with the whole Church, will join your prayer:
O Lord, who dost will not the death of a sinner but that he turn and live, incline Thine ear to Thy servant in sore distress. Touch this throat, that it may receive food and give praise. Close these wounds, that the flesh may be whole and the soul yet more inflamed with love for Thee. Grant not only healing of body, but repentance and faith and a firm hope. And when Thou hast lifted him up, let him walk steadfastly in the path of Thy commandments, through the mercy of Thine only-begotten Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, to whom with the Father and the Holy Ghost be glory, now and for ever. Amen.
