Your words have come before the Lord and before His people with a weight that cannot be lightly heard. To be anxious even when you know you should not be, to feel your body failing through want of food, to carry the burden of rent arrears and the wrong done to you by others, and to feel that every hand you have reached for has been empty, this is indeed a sore trial. And to feel your faith itself growing faint under it is perhaps the heaviest part of all.
You write that you are completely on your own, and that word, alone, pierced me. Our blessed Savior knows that place. He said to His own disciples, Ye shall leave me alone, and yet I am not alone, because the Father is with me. There are seasons when a child of God is left alone just when as a man he most needs human sympathy, and friends and helpers seem to scatter. It pained even our Lord, though it did not dismay Him. If you are brought into that same loneliness now, remember that His loneliness sanctifies yours. He understands the sorrow of being friendless in the hour of need, and He stands with you in it. Though men may leave you alone, the Father does not. The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart, and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.
You speak also of anxiety that has taken hold upon your health. Hear what our Lord says so tenderly, Be not anxious about your temporal affairs. He does not forbid prudence, for we are to act honestly and wisely with what God has entrusted to us, but He does forbid that fretfulness and worry which devours strength and unfits us to meet the very difficulty we fear. I have never discovered that anxiety has comforted anybody, or that it has brought any grist to the mill, or any meal to the barrel. It does not pay, and worse, it unfits the mind and the body to do what must be done. What then shall we do with it. Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and He shall sustain thee. Be careful for nothing, but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Tell the Lord about the rent, about the fraud, about the empty cupboard, about the fear that wakes you in the night. If anxiety is confined to yourself, no good will come of it, but if it is turned into prayer, it becomes the very means by which God gives peace.
You have gone without food for two weeks and have lost much weight, and your strength is bitten with hunger. That is not a light thing, and it must be tended to without delay. There is a hunger of the body which is most painful, and there is a hunger of the soul after righteousness which our Lord calls blessed, saying, Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they shall be filled. That spiritual hunger you show when you cry, Father in the name of Jesus Christ will you please finally help me. That cry is itself a sign that the Spirit has not left you, even when faith seems to fight for its very existence, as it does in deep soul conflict. Yet the Lord who opens the gate of Heaven's granary, which is never locked, also cares for the body He has made. He who fed Elijah by the brook and multiplied bread in the wilderness sees your want. Do not despise the means He provides. I beseech you, seek help again this very day for your bodily need. Go to a physician or to urgent care, for two weeks without food brings great danger. Go again to the pantry and to the church, and tell them plainly as you have told us, that you have not eaten and your health is declining. Seek also any local aid for housing and for counsel concerning the property management, perhaps a trusted pastor, deacon, or legal aid service who can look upon your papers and advise you. You are not forgotten because one door did not open. Knock again. The Lord often keeps the granary open through the hands of His people.
For your soul in this fainting time, remember this, the hunger you feel after righteousness shall be filled, not from yourself, for no man can feed upon his own heart, but from Christ Himself, who is the Bread of Life. He that cometh to me shall never hunger. Come to Him just as you are, weary, anxious, hungry, alone, and tell Him you have nothing. He does not turn away a hungry beggar. Your faith may feel as a bruised reed, but He will not break it.
Let us pray together now.
O Father, in the name of Jesus Christ Thy Son, look upon this suffering one whom Thou seest and knowest altogether. Thou hast seen the anxiety, the loss of strength, the days without bread, the burden of debt and the wrong that has been done. Lord, have mercy. Lay Thy hand upon this dear one and sustain the body, provide daily bread, open doors for help that have seemed closed, give wisdom for every temporal care, and vindicate what is right. Forgive us our sins and wash us in the blood of Christ, through whom alone we come to Thee. Lift up the fainting faith, and let this soul know that though forsaken by others, Thou art with him still. Give peace that passeth understanding, and fill the hunger of the heart with Christ. Keep this life, we pray Thee, and restore health and hope, for Jesus sake. Amen.
Do not remain in silence after this prayer. I urge you to let one person near you know today the full extent of your need, and to seek immediate care for your body. You have been heard, you are not alone before God, and we will continue to bear you before the throne of grace.