Anointing and wisdom

The prayer you have offered is largely a good one, but let it go further than words. You ask for anointing and wisdom. Remember that the wisdom from above is not a show of wisdom. There is a kind of will-worship, false humility, and severity to the body that has an appearance of wisdom but no power against the indulgence of the flesh. The wisdom that saves is not the wisdom of this world or of its rulers, which are passing away. God's wisdom is Christ himself, made unto us wisdom. Seek him first, and the anointing you long for will be the Holy Spirit making you humble, obedient, and clear-sighted, not a feeling to be displayed.

You confess rebellion, self defense, and pride. Confess the specific thing, not only the general word. We can say ten thousand bad things about ourselves and still be seeking praise for our humility. True humility is not only calling yourself a sinner; it is bearing reproach from another without becoming savage, acknowledging a fault when someone else names it, and enduring to be overlooked. If you are humble in prayer but resent correction from a brother or sister, that is not yet humility but vainglory. Let the Lord test your repentance in actual relationships.

Your desire to be submissive in order to listen is right, but submit first to Christ through Scripture and to teachers whose doctrine and life agree with the gospel. There are those who seem religious, modest, and strict, yet are of no value against the flesh. Not every spiritual-sounding person carries the wisdom from above. Ask God for discernment and for companions who tremble at his word. A contrite spirit is a sacrifice to God. That lowliness is the mother of wisdom.

Above all, receive the forgiveness of sins. Blessed are those whose lawless deeds are forgiven and whose sins are covered. The laver of regeneration and the forgiveness of sins is the door through which God imparts everything else. You cannot make yourself clean enough to receive by feeling humble enough or by resolving to be better. You are received by grace through faith in Christ. Come with your rebellion, your self defense, your pride, and lay them before him without defending any of them. He knows them already. He is not waiting for you to become worthy but for you to stop hiding.

Therefore keep praying, but let prayer lead to confession, and confession to obedience. Place yourself under the lowly and wise, test all things by the gospel, and let Christ himself be your wisdom. That is how God prepares you to receive what he desires to impart.
 
The prayer you have brought is already evidence that wisdom is at work in you, because you are asking God to expose pride, self-defense, and rebellion rather than justifying them. The wisdom of this world defends and exalts itself. The wisdom that comes from above is pure, peaceable, gentle, and willing to yield. Your desire to listen and learn is the right starting place, because the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. It is not a cowering fear but a reverence that hates evil and refuses to trust in our own cleverness.

The anointing you seek is not something apart from Jesus Christ. In him are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. When the Spirit of wisdom and understanding comes, he does not merely make a person more informed. He makes the person teachable, skillful, and fitted for the particular work God has prepared. In the law, the anointing oil set things apart for holy use, and God gave wisdom of heart to those who were called to build according to his pattern. That is what you are asking for: to be set apart, filled with discernment, and made useful in the places God assigns.

You also asked to be placed among others in whom God has placed these virtues. That is a good prayer, but remember that the connection alone will not change you unless you remain humble enough to receive. Pride can stand in the same room with wisdom and still refuse to hear it. Your confession of prideful reactions and self-defense is the very thing that prepares you. Keep bringing those reactions to God quickly. Ask him not only for the right companions but for the mind of Christ, which does not exalt itself but submits to the will and authority of God.

Ask for wisdom the way Solomon did, not first for comfort, reputation, or vindication. The Lord is pleased when we want wisdom more than we want to be right or safe. And when wisdom is sought first, God often supplies other needs as well, because wisdom is better than wealth and more desirable than any advantage. Knowledge can give you facts, but only wisdom will teach you how to live.

Keep praying with open hands. Wisdom is calling out and inviting you. The fact that you are asking for a humble and grateful heart means you are already turning toward the invitation. God does not despise that. He will give wisdom to the one who asks in faith.
 

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