Silas
Beloved of All
Your story reflects deep pain and also a steady love for God, for your wife and for your children, and that love is noticed by the Lord. The loss of daily fellowship with your sons, the sudden court decision while you were not present, the weeping in your classroom, the long stretch of waiting for provision and then the years of hard work, lost jobs, broken friendships and even theft, all of this has been heavy to carry. It is understandable that you still plead for reconciliation and that you miss your family deeply. God sees that sorrow and He also sees the way He has sustained you through gig work and now through this temporary provision of housing and income.
Scripture presents marriage as something God Himself joins. From the beginning He made them male and female, and for this cause a man leaves his father and mother and cleaves to his wife, and the two become one flesh. They are no longer two but one, and what God has joined together, let not man put asunder. That oneness is even pictured in children, who are literally one flesh from the two. Your desire to forgive your wife as Christ loves the church and to be ready to restore your marriage is right before God. His ideal remains a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, and He honors the heart that seeks to keep that covenant.
That same heart is called to forgive from deep within. Jesus taught that if we do not forgive our brother from our hearts, we place ourselves in a hard position before our Father, for we have been forgiven an immeasurable debt through Christ. Forgiveness is not a surface word but a matter of the heart and spirit. God commands it and when we are willing He will give the capacity to do it. It is right to pray honestly, God, I am bitter and hurting, give me a tender heart, make me kind as You are kind, help me to forgive as You for Christ's sake have forgiven me. To copy God in this way is to be an imitator of Him as a dear child imitates a father. That forgiveness does not excuse what was done, but it releases you from torment and keeps your own fellowship with God clear.
Within marriage God has given two simple and searching rules. The husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church and as he loves his own body, and the wife is to reverence her husband. When that pattern is followed, a home can become the closest thing to heaven on earth. When it is broken, that same home can become deeply painful. You cannot control your wife's response, but you can continue to choose love, prayer, and a readiness to reconcile without demanding or forcing. That is Christlike love.
Your concern for your children is also Christlike. Jesus welcomed little children, took them in His arms and laid His hands on them, saying of such is the kingdom of heaven. He is never too busy for them. The Scripture also says to hear the instruction of a father and to keep the commandments and live, for commandments are not restrictions to steal life but directions to give better life. It warns fathers not to provoke children to wrath by unreasonable demands, and it encourages finding joy in faithful family life and in legitimate children who are a blessing. Even when a home is divided, the presence of a believing parent brings a holy covering to the children. God hears your prayers for them and He is able to guard their hearts when you cannot be present.
You have also tasted what it means to leave houses and lands and family for His name's sake. Jesus said there is no one who has left such things for His sake and the gospel's who will not receive a hundredfold in this life and in the life to come, for God will not be a debtor to anyone. Your willingness to step out with no place to live and no car, walking by faith and not by sight, and your determination to grow spiritually on these trips, matters to Him. He has shown His hand already in sustaining you, and He can continue to provide for the practical need of a reliable vehicle and for guidance about where to live and work.
Praying now for you, that God will give you a true heart of forgiveness, that He will heal bitterness and make you tenderhearted, that He will work in your wife's heart to draw her to Himself through Jesus Christ alone, for salvation is in Him alone, and to soften her toward reconciliation if it be His will, that He will protect your sons and your daughter, keep them in His care, and give you opportunities to speak life into them, and that He will give you wisdom about this temporary job, provision for what you need, and peace as you wait on Him. Keep retaining His words in your heart, keep His commandments, and keep asking Him for the spirit of forgiveness and love that only He can supply.
Scripture presents marriage as something God Himself joins. From the beginning He made them male and female, and for this cause a man leaves his father and mother and cleaves to his wife, and the two become one flesh. They are no longer two but one, and what God has joined together, let not man put asunder. That oneness is even pictured in children, who are literally one flesh from the two. Your desire to forgive your wife as Christ loves the church and to be ready to restore your marriage is right before God. His ideal remains a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, and He honors the heart that seeks to keep that covenant.
That same heart is called to forgive from deep within. Jesus taught that if we do not forgive our brother from our hearts, we place ourselves in a hard position before our Father, for we have been forgiven an immeasurable debt through Christ. Forgiveness is not a surface word but a matter of the heart and spirit. God commands it and when we are willing He will give the capacity to do it. It is right to pray honestly, God, I am bitter and hurting, give me a tender heart, make me kind as You are kind, help me to forgive as You for Christ's sake have forgiven me. To copy God in this way is to be an imitator of Him as a dear child imitates a father. That forgiveness does not excuse what was done, but it releases you from torment and keeps your own fellowship with God clear.
Within marriage God has given two simple and searching rules. The husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church and as he loves his own body, and the wife is to reverence her husband. When that pattern is followed, a home can become the closest thing to heaven on earth. When it is broken, that same home can become deeply painful. You cannot control your wife's response, but you can continue to choose love, prayer, and a readiness to reconcile without demanding or forcing. That is Christlike love.
Your concern for your children is also Christlike. Jesus welcomed little children, took them in His arms and laid His hands on them, saying of such is the kingdom of heaven. He is never too busy for them. The Scripture also says to hear the instruction of a father and to keep the commandments and live, for commandments are not restrictions to steal life but directions to give better life. It warns fathers not to provoke children to wrath by unreasonable demands, and it encourages finding joy in faithful family life and in legitimate children who are a blessing. Even when a home is divided, the presence of a believing parent brings a holy covering to the children. God hears your prayers for them and He is able to guard their hearts when you cannot be present.
You have also tasted what it means to leave houses and lands and family for His name's sake. Jesus said there is no one who has left such things for His sake and the gospel's who will not receive a hundredfold in this life and in the life to come, for God will not be a debtor to anyone. Your willingness to step out with no place to live and no car, walking by faith and not by sight, and your determination to grow spiritually on these trips, matters to Him. He has shown His hand already in sustaining you, and He can continue to provide for the practical need of a reliable vehicle and for guidance about where to live and work.
Praying now for you, that God will give you a true heart of forgiveness, that He will heal bitterness and make you tenderhearted, that He will work in your wife's heart to draw her to Himself through Jesus Christ alone, for salvation is in Him alone, and to soften her toward reconciliation if it be His will, that He will protect your sons and your daughter, keep them in His care, and give you opportunities to speak life into them, and that He will give you wisdom about this temporary job, provision for what you need, and peace as you wait on Him. Keep retaining His words in your heart, keep His commandments, and keep asking Him for the spirit of forgiveness and love that only He can supply.
