Our hearts break for you as we read your cry for help, dear sister. The betrayal and abuse you have endured at the hands of your husband are grievous in the sight of God, and we stand with you in this dark hour, lifting your pain before the Lord. The Scripture is clear that God *hates* deceit, unfaithfulness, and the destruction of His sacred covenant of marriage. Proverbs 6:16-19 declares, *"There are six things which Yahweh hates; yes, seven which are an abomination to him: arrogant eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are swift in running to mischief, a false witness who utters lies, and he who sows discord among brothers."* Your husband’s actions are not just against you—they are an affront to the holy God who sees all things and will bring every deed into judgment.
You have shown incredible strength by turning to the Lord in this storm, and we commend you for placing your trust in Him. But we must also speak truth into this situation with love and urgency: **you are not called to endure abuse.** Marriage is meant to reflect Christ’s love for His Church—a love that is sacrificial, faithful, and protective (Ephesians 5:25-29). What you describe is not love; it is wickedness. First Peter 3:7 instructs husbands to *"dwell with [their wives] according to knowledge, giving honor to the woman, as to the weaker vessel, as being also joint heirs of the grace of life; that your prayers may not be hindered."* Your husband’s refusal to honor you, his deceit, and his unrepentant sin are not only destroying your marriage but also inviting the judgment of God upon his own life.
We must ask: Have you sought safety for yourself and your children? The Bible does not require you to remain in a home where you are being sinned against in such egregious ways. In fact, Scripture allows for separation in cases of unrepentant adultery and abuse (Matthew 19:9, 1 Corinthians 7:15). If you are in danger, we urge you to reach out to trusted believers, your pastor, or a biblical counselor who can help you create a plan for protection. You are not obligated to submit to sin or to enable your husband’s rebellion against God. Your first responsibility is to honor the Lord, and that includes stewarding the safety and well-being of the children He has entrusted to you.
As for your husband, we pray that the Lord would bring conviction upon his heart. Right now, he is walking in the hardness of Pharaoh—his lies have "gotten him away with it" in the eyes of man, but he will not escape the justice of God. Hebrews 13:4 warns, *"Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled; but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers."* His sin is before the Lord, and unless he repents, he will face eternal consequences. Yet even now, we plead with the Lord for mercy—that He would break your husband’s heart of stone and grant him a spirit of repentance (Ezekiel 36:26). True repentance means turning from sin, confessing to those he has wronged (including you and the children), and bearing fruit worthy of repentance (Luke 3:8). Until then, you are under no biblical obligation to trust him or reconcile.
Sister, we also want to address the deep wound in your soul. The betrayal you’ve suffered is traumatic, and it is okay to grieve. Psalm 34:18 reminds us that *"Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit."* You do not have to carry this alone. Lean on the body of Christ—let trusted believers walk with you, pray over you, and help you discern the Lord’s will for your next steps. If you have not already, we strongly encourage you to seek biblical counseling to process this pain in a way that honors God and protects your heart from bitterness. Forgiveness is a command (Colossians 3:13), but it does not mean excusing sin or pretending it didn’t happen. Forgiveness is releasing your right to vengeance into God’s hands, trusting that He will repay (Romans 12:19).
Finally, we want to speak life over you: **You are not defined by your husband’s sin.** You are a daughter of the Most High God, redeemed by the blood of Jesus, and clothed in His righteousness. Your worth is not tied to your husband’s love or approval—it is rooted in Christ’s love for you. He sees your tears, He hears your cries, and He will act on your behalf. Psalm 10:17-18 declares, *"Yahweh, you have heard the desire of the humble. You will prepare their heart. You will cause your ear to hear, to judge the fatherless and the oppressed, that man who is of the earth may terrify no more."*
Now, let us pray over you:
*Heavenly Father, we come before You on behalf of our sister, who is broken and weary from the betrayal and abuse she has endured. Lord, You are a God of justice, and You see the wickedness that has been done in secret. We ask that You would expose every lie, every hidden sin, and bring Your righteous judgment upon this situation. Father, protect our sister and her children—place a hedge of thorns around them and grant them wisdom to know how to walk forward in safety and godliness. If it is Your will, soften her husband’s heart and bring him to true repentance. But if he hardens his heart further, Lord, do not let her remain in bondage to his sin. Give her the strength to take biblical steps to protect herself and her children, even if it means separation.
Lord, heal her heart. Bind up her wounds and restore her joy. Remind her daily that she is Yours—that her identity is not in her marriage but in Christ alone. Surround her with Your people who will uphold her, pray for her, and walk with her through this valley. Give her discernment to know who to trust and how to move forward. And Father, we rebuke the spirit of shame, fear, and despair that the enemy would try to place on her. Fill her instead with Your peace that surpasses understanding and Your hope that does not disappoint.
We ask all this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our Redeemer and our Justice. Amen.*
Sister, we are standing with you. Please reach out to your local church or a biblical counselor for support. You are not alone, and God is not finished writing your story. His plans for you are for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11). Stay in His Word, cling to His promises, and let Him lead you one step at a time. We will continue to pray for you.