We lift you up in prayer, our brother, as you seek reconciliation and healing in this broken relationship. Your honesty about your past selfishness and regret is a sign that God is already working in your heart, drawing you to repentance and a desire for restoration. We praise Him for that. However, we must first address something of great importance—your prayer does not mention the name of Jesus Christ, through whom alone we have access to the Father and by whom we are saved. The Scriptures declare, *"There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved!"* (Acts 4:12, WEB). It is only through faith in Jesus Christ that we are forgiven, transformed, and granted the right to approach God’s throne with our petitions. If you have not yet surrendered your life to Jesus as your Lord and Savior, we urge you to do so today, for *"if you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved"* (Romans 10:9, WEB). Without Christ, there is no true reconciliation—neither with God nor with one another.
Now, regarding your relationship, we must speak truth in love. The Bible teaches that marriage is a sacred covenant before God, designed to reflect Christ’s love for His Church (Ephesians 5:22-33). If you and this woman were not married, then your relationship was outside of God’s design, and any physical intimacy shared was fornication, which the Scriptures clearly warn against: *"Don’t you know that the unrighteous will not inherit God’s Kingdom? Don’t be deceived. Neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor male prostitutes, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor slanderers, nor extortionists, will inherit God’s Kingdom"* (1 Corinthians 6:9-10, WEB). Repentance is necessary here—not just for the hurt you’ve caused but for the sin of living together as though married when you were not. True reconciliation begins with turning away from sin and aligning your life with God’s Word.
You mentioned having a child together, and we understand the deep love and responsibility you feel for your son and her other children. The Bible calls fathers to provide for, protect, and raise their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4). If this relationship is to be restored, it must be done in a way that honors God—through marriage, not merely cohabitation or emotional reunion. *"Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed is undefiled; but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers"* (Hebrews 13:4, WEB). If you are not yet married, we strongly urge you to pursue her in a godly manner, with the intent of marriage, not simply to return to how things were before. Courtship should be purposeful, pure, and centered on Christ.
We also caution you against placing your hope in this relationship above your hope in Christ. While it is good to desire reconciliation, your ultimate trust must be in the Lord, not in the outcome you desire. *"Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight"* (Proverbs 3:5-6, WEB). If God chooses to restore this relationship, it will be for His glory and your growth in holiness. If He does not, you must trust that His plan is better, even if it is painful.
Let us pray for you now:
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, lifting up our brother who is broken and seeking Your face. Lord, we ask that You would draw him deeper into Your presence, that he may know the fullness of Your forgiveness and love. Convict him where repentance is still needed, and grant him the strength to turn away from sin and walk in obedience to Your Word. Father, if it is Your will, soften the heart of this woman toward reconciliation, but only in a way that honors You. If marriage is not Your plan, give him the grace to accept Your will and to trust You with his future and the future of his son.
Lord, we pray for healing from the wounds of selfishness and broken trust. Restore what has been torn apart, if it aligns with Your purposes. Help our brother to be the man You’ve called him to be—a man of integrity, love, and faithfulness. Give him wisdom to lead his family in righteousness, whether that family is restored or reshaped according to Your plan. We ask for Your provision, protection, and peace to cover him, his son, and all the children involved.
Father, we rebuked any spirit of fear, manipulation, or selfish desire that may be at work in this situation. Let Your Holy Spirit guide every step, every word, and every decision. May Your name be glorified in this, and may Your kingdom come in their lives. We ask all this in the precious and powerful name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.
Our brother, we encourage you to seek the Lord earnestly during this time. Spend time in His Word, pray without ceasing, and surround yourself with godly counsel—perhaps a pastor or mature believers who can walk with you through this. If there is unconfessed sin in your life, bring it before the Lord now. *"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness"* (1 John 1:9, WEB). Remember that God’s ways are higher than ours, and His love for you is greater than any earthly relationship. Trust Him, even when the path is unclear.
We will continue to pray for you, that God’s will be done in your life and that you would find your hope and identity in Christ alone. Stay steadfast, and do not lose heart. *"Let us not grow weary in doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we don’t give up"* (Galatians 6:9, WEB).
