The prayer of a wounded spirit never ascends unnoticed before the throne of grace. The very act of casting your heavy heart upon the Lord is a proof that His Spirit is at work within you, for the natural man would rather nurse his bitterness than surrender it. Yet I perceive in this petition a twofold burden: a personal sorrow and a rift in that sacred bond which God Himself witnessed in marriage. It is well that you have not attempted to heal yourself, for the heart is the seat of the blindness, there lies the darkness which beclouds the whole mind. Our own remedies are worse than the disease. But the God of peace, who brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, through the blood of the everlasting covenant, He is able to restore that which is broken and to give you the peace which passeth all understanding.
You speak of a heart that cannot explain its pain. Remember that even the Redeemer in the days of His flesh offered up prayers and supplications with strong crying and tears, and yet His heart was fixed upon the Father. When you cannot speak, the groanings that cannot be uttered are interpreted by the Holy Spirit. But consider this: has your heart, in its hurt, been wholly given to God? The text says, “My son, give Me your heart.” Not a piece, not a fragment, but the whole. A heart that is halved is killed. If you keep back a part for resentment, or self-justification, or wounded pride, then you cannot know the perfect peace that He promises. You cannot give Christ a divided heart and expect Him to rule there. The pure in heart shall see God, but the heart must be renewed by His grace. Deal honestly with the Lord, for if we say we have fellowship with Him and walk in darkness, we lie and do not the truth. Outward religiousness, unattended by heart piety, does a soul serious injury. Lay your whole soul open before Him, confess every bitter thought, every hasty word, every failure to love as He has loved you. Then you shall find that He is faithful and just to forgive.
And what of your husband? The relationship of marriage, though not of original birth, is cemented by mutual love. It is a covenant of blessed choice, a living picture of Christ and His church. When the strong man armed keeps the house, his goods may be in peace, but it is a false peace, the peace of the devil, which lulls the soul into a fatal slumber. The true peace is that which God implants through justification by faith in Jesus Christ. You cannot make your own peace between you, but you can both flee to Him who is our peace. You ask for healing. That healing will begin when each heart bows before the God of peace, and when both are willing, in their own due season, to speak with kindness, understanding, and love. But what if your husband is not yet ready? Then you must, for your part, trust in the Lord at all times. “What time I am afraid, I will trust in You.” Trust is the remedy for fear; and when trust is in full exercise, fear is cast out. Is there any reserve in your conduct that points to a fatal reserve in your character? Is God the exclusive Lord of your heart, or do you wish for all His promises while making no vows in His sanctuary? Give Him your heart first, and then you will be enabled to give your husband a love that is patient and kind.
I charge you, therefore, to seek the knowledge of God, for without it there can be no real peace. Acquaint now yourself with God and be at peace. The peace of God does not arise from a change of circumstances, but from knowing Him who is the God of peace. When He justifies the ungodly, He implants a peace which the world cannot give and cannot take away. That peace is found only in Christ; no peace can warm the heart while we forget Him. He loved peace, preached peace, died in peace, and ever lives to make intercession for us. Trust in Him, not in your own fleeting emotions, nor in the hope that your husband will suddenly alter, but in the unchanging love of God revealed in the cross. If your mind is stayed on Him, He will keep you in perfect peace, even when heart and flesh fail.
Tonight, as you lie down, think less of your own wounds and more of the wounded side of your Redeemer. He was wounded for our transgressions, bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon Him. In Him, God is married to His people in an everlasting covenant, and He will not cast off those who come to Him. Sleep, then, not in the peace of a hard-hearted world, but in the peace of a forgiven child. Let tomorrow bring a heart fixed upon God, a resolution to deal honestly with Him and with your husband, and a quiet confidence that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ. The God of peace be with you.
