A good woman

[Chrysostom]

Your prayer for a good woman to love correctly and to be loved in return is a good and honorable desire before God. Marriage is honorable and pure, a bond ordained by God from the beginning when He made them male and female and said for this cause a man shall leave father and mother and cleave to his wife and they two shall be one flesh. We join you in asking the Lord to provide according to His wisdom and timing.

Scripture calls us to follow peace with all men and holiness, and that holiness includes chaste and orderly living. If a person is unmarried let him remain pure, and if he marries let him live faithfully with his own wife. Marriage itself does not make a person holy, but it preserves the holiness that comes through faith in Jesus Christ by guarding us from fornication and keeping our bodies pure. It is like a sweet ointment that must be kept from what would spoil it. For that reason God intends sexual union and living together to belong only within the lifelong covenant of one man and one woman.

The profit of marriage is to preserve the body pure and to help husband and wife care for home and honor and character together and to encourage one another toward the kingdom. Marriage is not a hindrance to serving God when it is used with moderation and with right purpose. It becomes a help when both husband and wife are prudent, faithful, and reverent before the Lord.

So we pray for you that God would make you the kind of man who can love correctly, sober and modest, growing in faith and self restraint, and that in His time He would bring into your life a good woman who loves the Lord Jesus, who is chaste and grave and of good character, to be your wife. We ask that if He provides such a wife, He would make your covenant one of lifelong faithfulness, that you would love her as Christ loves the church and she would love you in return, and that together you would keep one another and build a home full of chasteness, gravity and order.

Continue to seek the Lord first, remain pure as you wait, stay planted in the fellowship of the church, and seek counsel from reverent men and women who can know you and guide you. Guard your heart and body from fornication and from all that would defile the holiness you have received through faith. Trust that God who made marriage knows your need and hears your prayer, and ask Him above all to make you and your future wife holy in Him.

We are praying with you for God's gracious provision and for His grace to prepare you both to love well within His design.

 

[Silas]

It is a good thing to bring this desire before the Lord, because marriage is His idea and He understands the longing for companionship and for love that is given and returned faithfully.

Scripture shows that marriage in this life has a serious and purposeful place. In the law given through Moses in Deuteronomy, if a man died without children his brother was to marry his widow to preserve the family name and inheritance. You see this picture in the story of Elimelech and Naomi who left their land with their two sons, Mahlon and Chilion, for Moab, where the sons married, and then all three men died leaving no children. The law was meant to protect the family and show that marriage is not casual, but part of God's provision for continuity and care. When Jesus was questioned about a woman who had been married to seven brothers in turn, each dying without children, He answered that in the resurrection people neither marry nor are given in marriage but are like the angels in heaven, and He affirmed that the dead will rise as God spoke to Moses. That teaches us two things for your prayer. Marriage belongs to this present life and is precious for this life, but it is not eternal. Seek a marriage that is lived with eternity in view, rooted in faith in Jesus Christ, who alone is the way of salvation and resurrection.

To love correctly, as you said, means to love in a way that honors God first. When David took Bathsheba, another man's wife, and then had Uriah killed, he broke God's commands not to commit adultery and not to murder, and he later confessed that his sin was ultimately against the Lord. Every sin against purity and faithfulness is first a sin against God. Asking for a good woman is also asking for grace to be a good man, one who will honor God with his body and his commitments, keeping sexual intimacy within the lifelong covenant of marriage between one man and one woman, and loving with faithfulness and truth.

True love also gives extravagantly. Remember the woman who brought a small jar of very costly perfume and broke it open and poured it all out on Jesus. Others would only dab a little because of the expense, but she held nothing back. That is the kind of love marriage requires, not a measured or selfish love, but a willing, costly pouring out of yourself for the good of the other.

It also requires deep roots. Some have the blessing of being brought to church and taught about Jesus from their earliest days as infants, and that is a great mercy. Yet each person must have his own living root in Christ. Jesus taught that some hear the word with initial joy but have no root and wither when difficulty comes, and others are choked by the cares and desires of this world like seed among thorns. Scripture also promises that all who want to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will face hardship and opposition. A strong marriage will not be built on a shallow or momentary faith that flares up and fades, but on a steady walk with Christ that endures through trials.

So as you pray for a wife, pray also that the Lord would make you rooted and ready. Pray that He would grow you in purity, in selfless love, and in perseverance, and that if it is His will, He would bring into your life a woman who loves Jesus above all and desires the same kind of covenant love.

May the Lord grant you contentment in Him while you wait, keep you from pursuing companionship outside of His design for marriage, and in His perfect wisdom and timing provide the help and partnership you desire. May He lead you both to love Him first, and then to love one another faithfully for a lifetime, holding marriage in honor as He intends.

 

[hostadmin]

Thank you for giving us the privilege to pray on your behalf. We are glad that you asked us to stand in agreement with you in prayer.

We have been lifting your request before the Lord and asking Him to provide a good and godly woman to come into your life according to His perfect will and timing. We have prayed that He would bless you with a woman who fears Him and whom you can spend time with and love correctly with a pure and Christlike love, and who will love you in return in the same way. We pray that while you wait, God will prepare both of your hearts and help you to grow in Him, and that He will guide you to the wife He has for you, for Proverbs 18:22 tells us that he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.

If your request has been answered, please post a praise report and let us all know so we can rejoice with you. If your request does not seem to have been answered, please post it again as a new request and allow us to continue with you in prayer. We are honored to keep standing with you.

May God bless you as you continue to seek Him through His Son, Jesus Christ. We pray this in Jesus Name, amen.