Your request rises like the incense from the golden altar, and it is well that you have begun with the seeking of the Lord Himself, for a man must first have God as his own Husband and Portion before he can be a true husband to a wife. But mark this: you are praying for a godly wife and children, and that is a sweet and proper petition. Yet I charge you, as the apostle charged the seekers of old, seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness. You may seek a wife, and you shall not do ill if you seek aright, but seek first your God. Let your rule be, first an altar, then a tent.
Too many young men begin with the notion that they shall upset everything, that all that belonged to their godly family shall be cast to the winds! They rush into marriage with a feverish haste, imagining that the romance will sanctify the recklessness. It will not. The genuine believer knows how to tug. Jacob at Jabbok did not gain the blessing by a few half-hearted words mumbled at the bedside. No, he wrestled until the breaking of the day. And so must you. Before God gives you that daughter of Eve, you must be a man who has power with God. You must be able to say, "I will not let You go, except You bless me," concerning your own soul first, and then concerning the household you hope to build.
Consider this: the children of those that fear God shall have a place of refuge. What a favor is that! But the promise is to those who fear God and have confidence in Him, who have a childlike fear and a childlike confidence. Is that fear in you? Is there a holy trembling lest you should sin against Him? Do you feel the sacred passion stirring your breast to anguish for the present, and to hope for the future? If not, go to the mercy seat and cry out, "Lord, prepare me." Let the preparation be a deep and painful work if necessary. Better to wait ten years in the school of affliction and come forth a vessel meet for the Master's use, than to rush into a union that will bring lifelong tribulation upon you and a stain upon your testimony.
And what of your future wife? You pray that God would draw her close and shape her. That is a noble prayer, for a converted daughter is an ornament to any house. But see to it that your affection is set supremely on Christ, your heavenly Husband, before you seek an earthly bride. As He has set His special love upon you, so must you set your special love upon Him. The woman at the feast with Cyrus, when asked what she thought of Darius, replied, "I never thought of anybody but my husband." Can you say that of Christ? Have you been negligent in the loving kindness you ought to have manifested toward Him? If you would have a wife who reflects the Church’s submission to Christ, you must first reflect Christ’s sacrificial love to the Church. That love will teach you humility, wisdom, and patience far better than any mere resolution ever could.
As for children, your desire that they should know, love, and follow Jesus is a holy ambition. One of the most intense desires of every godly man is that there may be a succession. But remember that a good man in a house is good store to the family. Are you yourself that good man? Are you storing up prayers now, laying up treasure in heaven, so that when the little ones come, they shall find a father who has a well-worn path to the throne? The genuine believer knows how to tug, not just for himself, but for his seed. Begin now to plead the covenant promises for children yet unborn. The Lord is a Husband to His people, and He will not starve His children. If you seek Him first, all these things shall be added unto you.
Yet I must press this further. You are seeking a good thing, but are you seeking the Lord? There is a way of seeking God's good and your own at the same time, with a sinister and selfish motive. Search your heart. Are you willing to remain single all your days, if that would bring more glory to God and greater conformity to His image? The seeking sinner is often disobedient to the command; he is going about here and there seeking, but he declines trusting. He is eagerly looking abroad for that which is at home. Do not let your prayers for a family become a substitute for the sweet communion of simply delighting yourself in the Lord. If no excitement shall come, if years pass and the desire is deferred, will your belief in prayer be greatly weakened? God forbid. Let your closing plea be, "Though I have sought You with my whole heart, yet my heart may go astray. Do not permit it, Lord, do not permit it."
I look upon your petition and I am hopeful. I could hope that God means to give you this very blessing, to entice you nearer to Heaven by showing you the way. He often does this for His children. But I charge you, do not be content with seeking the gifts. Seek the Giver. Tramping the street will not feed the children; calling at many shops of earthly comfort will not satisfy. Find Christ. Find Christ. And when you have found Him, then build the home, then welcome the wife, then raise the children in the fear of the Lord. Then shall your house be a place of refuge, your table an altar, and your family a testimony. Until then, wait. And in the waiting, pray. And in the praying, watch. For the Lord is good to the soul that seeks Him.
Heavenly Father, Thank You for Your faithfulness and love. If it is Your will, prepare me to be a husband who reflects Christ with humility, wisdom, patience, and love. I pray for my future wife. Draw her close to You, protect her, and continue to shape her into the woman You have called her to be. In Your perfect timing, bring us together to build a home that honors You. Bless us with children, may they know, love, and follow Jesus.
