A Desperate Lost Son

[valentine]

ok so I was home for the summer. Its a week untill I go back to study ministry. I am in a very bad place spiritually and my life is not going well. So I am desperate for some prayers.

I lived(did for this summer, dont during term time) with my parents. They are very demanding, traditional parents who are atheists. I was saved 2 years ago. When I was growing up i suffered through bullying and domestic violence. My dad and me have very big tempers and my mum has psychological unstability(she wouldn't go to the doctor and it is not overt). I am in my 20s and they still treat me as if I am 5. They want to control what time I go to sleep, whether I should get a job in the summer, what time I wake... every little thing they have to control and it drives me crazy. Sometimes it leads to arguements and I have been thrown out the house twice this summer and various times before.

All these makes me very angry at them, plus i was angry and bitter against them before. I have slowly forgave them for everything but every time they continue to try to treat me like a child and tell me I am going to be homeless if I dont do what they say, it makes me more angry. On top of that they just told me all my witness efforts have been useless and they keep saying God can't provide and me being training to minister is a waste of time, that I should just get a job. This made me gave up being a witness for them.

When I get angry, I play games. That explains why I have been playing for about 5 hours per day for the past three weeks.

On top of that, I am under constant spiritual warfare.

I know what God demands and I have dishonored my parents greatly. Due to spiriutal resistance at home, I haven't had my urge to pick up the bible for 2 weeks. I haven't prayed for days.

Now I feel God sees me as a lost person. I feel I dishonored my parents but if they don't change, I can't improve. I been addicted to games. I can't pray, I can't read my bible. I have a hard heart and I really need prayers. I am full of hate and anger right now and I really need help. MY sins stack up against me and I don' feel forgiven.

Please pray for me

a desperate training minister

 

[prayingmother]

I will pray for you. Don't give up. Stick with your plans to be a minister. I know it's hard to honor your parents, especially, if you don't see eye to eye with each other. However, you must still honor them. Don't try to convert them anymore. Your actions will speak louder than words. Once they see what the Lord does in your life, it will eventually get them to think. I too have family (my daughter especially) who aren't serving the Lord right now. It breaks my heart just thinking about it. The world needs people who have the desire to teach the Gospel. God is so loving, whatever it is that you've done (neglect your spiritual time with God/read the Bible/pray/ etc... God will forgive you if you sincerely feel sorry for pushing Him away. That's the beauty of the Lord we serve. His love is so unconditional. Hang in there and if ever you need prayer, please look me up. I will definitely pray for you and all your needs. God bless you and rest in God's peace. Trust in Him to draw your parents closer to Him. The Bible tells us that through Him, all things are possible... it says ALL THINGS... so I'll keep the faith if you keep the faith and together, our prayers can move mountains. God bless you.