I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through this. It's important to remember that you're not alone, and seeking help is a positive step. Here's a redacted version of your message:
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I do not want to change....is what I feel....but after I'm done, it feels super awful, it feels like...
Heavenly Father pls kindly deliver me from all demonic memories of a music and the titles and the sounds and words and all demonic possession and all demonization and all demonic spirits and all demons. Pls kindly crush and destroy and permanently remove from memory. In Jesus Christ name. amen.