anonymous7367
Humble Servant of All
You know the saying "When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot amd hang on". Well, I have had too many of those ropes to completely unravel. I feel as if I am going to explode. I want to be on one of these airplanes that fly over taking me away from all of this stressfull life that never improves no matter how hard I try or how much I pray, no matter what I pray. I get no peace only more stress. Reading the Bible is not comforting. I have no one to turn to, no one to talk to, no one to help. Please don't tell me I have God. As I said, I pray, I tell God everything even though he already knows but I find no solace, no comfort just abandonment and loneliness. I am married but it still applies. I am always last. My needs matter not to anyone. I am in constant fear of losing everything, having utilities shutoff and so forth. I love my husband dearly but his children have cost us dearly. Sometimes I think I'd be better off a widow. I was alone for a long time and know that loneliness. I know we have to go through trials, but does my entire life have to be a trial. Why can't God allow good things to happen in my life? I want to run away and die.