YOU KNOW I PRAY SO HARD THAT IT HURT ...

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I did the same things and I can tell you through trials you may lose faith from time to time, but God's intention is to make your faith like gold, not straw. I am a witness to you getting stronger and the thing that bothers you becomes smaller than your God more and more as time goes on. This is where your faith is built even stronger. That is the point you will get to, so just keep taking one day at a time asking God for help. There is an end! You may still have down days, because Satan does not stop trying, but eventually the thing that bothers you becomes less important and the God who loves you becomes more important. Nothing should be more important than your God, so just know God has a plan and a reason. Listen for his guidance and trust him! I am praying for you!

I have to add that you have the tools to defeat Satan's deceiving lies, pray daily, read your Bible because he hates God's word. Pray for others, this helped me! Eventually, when Satan sees that you will not let this issue take you away from God, then you will not suffer anymore. God did not leave you, he is in control and eventually you will see the bigger picture that he was there all along!
 
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A Warning Against Hardness of Heart

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