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I have been pretty down this week because things with my health are not changing the way I want them to change. It is one thing for me to deal with it, but the feeling that everyone wants me to be better, up and active and doing what they want me to do hurts me terribly. If I could just stay in my little world and worship God and be in prayer, I would be able to deal with the pain.
It is in the frustration of having to work and make money for my family, and yet being in pain, the frustration of going to doctors only to have them ultimately insult me because they do not understand what is happening with me, that frustrates me so much. It is the hurt that my extended family just wants me to get better so I can go and do things with them. The problems have been the same for years. It does not change.
My challenges remain my challenges with the only differences becoming increased pressures due to work that has to get done, activities I want to do, expectation of others, bills that have to be paid...same problems...just new pressures.
When I think of all of the struggles on this site I think many of us are dealing with the same problem...the problems have not changed no matter how much we have pleaded, cried, prayed our way for the situation to change...it is our cross to carry. For many of us, it will not be removed from us.
Does that mean that God is not responding to our prayers? Does that mean that all of our pleading to God has been for nothing?
I don't think so. I think God has called us to this very place and time because of who we are and what we are going through. I heard a preacher say that what ever it is that makes us cry is what God has ordained us to heal.
Today, I realized that I needed to reach out to those of you who do not see any change in your situation. The pain remains the same. I am standing in solidarity with you.
Some of you might be called to be in solidarity with the homeless and work to make life better for all those with out homes. Maybe as you struggle to pay your bills and have bill collectors after you, you have what it takes to reach out to your neighbor and wipe away their tears as they experience the very same thing.
Some of you might be called to help people learn better communication skills and to strengthen marriages through the love of Jesus Christ, because you know the pain of it all going terribly wrong.
“Listen to your life. See it for the fathomless mystery that it is. In the boredom and pain of it no less than in the excitement and gladness: touch, taste, smell your way to the holy and hidden heart of it because in the last analysis all moments are key moments, and life itself is grace.”
Just because the things we want changed, are not changing, does not mean that you are left to falter on your own. God has a plan for your life. It is a holy and beautiful and purposeful plan. Even though we want change, maybe the thing that has to change is our willingness to make a difference where ever it is that we find ourselves.
The quote is from Buechner, all of the rest of it is from me. (Frederick Buechner, Listening to Your Life: Daily Meditations with Frederick Buechner, (New York: HarperCollins, Publishers), 1992, p. 2.)
It is in the frustration of having to work and make money for my family, and yet being in pain, the frustration of going to doctors only to have them ultimately insult me because they do not understand what is happening with me, that frustrates me so much. It is the hurt that my extended family just wants me to get better so I can go and do things with them. The problems have been the same for years. It does not change.
My challenges remain my challenges with the only differences becoming increased pressures due to work that has to get done, activities I want to do, expectation of others, bills that have to be paid...same problems...just new pressures.
When I think of all of the struggles on this site I think many of us are dealing with the same problem...the problems have not changed no matter how much we have pleaded, cried, prayed our way for the situation to change...it is our cross to carry. For many of us, it will not be removed from us.
Does that mean that God is not responding to our prayers? Does that mean that all of our pleading to God has been for nothing?
I don't think so. I think God has called us to this very place and time because of who we are and what we are going through. I heard a preacher say that what ever it is that makes us cry is what God has ordained us to heal.
Today, I realized that I needed to reach out to those of you who do not see any change in your situation. The pain remains the same. I am standing in solidarity with you.
Some of you might be called to be in solidarity with the homeless and work to make life better for all those with out homes. Maybe as you struggle to pay your bills and have bill collectors after you, you have what it takes to reach out to your neighbor and wipe away their tears as they experience the very same thing.
Some of you might be called to help people learn better communication skills and to strengthen marriages through the love of Jesus Christ, because you know the pain of it all going terribly wrong.
“Listen to your life. See it for the fathomless mystery that it is. In the boredom and pain of it no less than in the excitement and gladness: touch, taste, smell your way to the holy and hidden heart of it because in the last analysis all moments are key moments, and life itself is grace.”
Just because the things we want changed, are not changing, does not mean that you are left to falter on your own. God has a plan for your life. It is a holy and beautiful and purposeful plan. Even though we want change, maybe the thing that has to change is our willingness to make a difference where ever it is that we find ourselves.
The quote is from Buechner, all of the rest of it is from me. (Frederick Buechner, Listening to Your Life: Daily Meditations with Frederick Buechner, (New York: HarperCollins, Publishers), 1992, p. 2.)
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