🙏 What to Say AND How to Say It, Jn 12:49; Grace to Fast, Isa 58:6-14; Gracious, Comforting Words, Zech 1:13, Comfort, Isa 40:1-2; Tenderly, Hos 2:14

[Nochaeld]

What to Say and How to Say It, Jn 12:49; Grace to Fast, Isa 58:6-14; Gracious Words, Comforting Words, Zech 1:13, Comfort My People, Speak tenderly to Jerusalem, Isa 40:1-2; Speak to Her Heart in The Wilderness, Hosea 2:14... Not Asking We Be on "Good Behavior," But "Lifelong Displays of Tenderness, Mutual Respect and Substantive, Demonstrated Love of Jesus, 24 Hours a Day, 365 Days a Year, Until Death do Us Part (Should The Lord Tarry)...

Father, I'd like to be clear what my prayer is: It is what Jesus said: "I don’t speak on My own authority. The Father who sent Me commands me what to say AND how to say it," John 12:49 [1]. May I speak truth the right way (in love, humility and kindness) at the right time (when one isn't tired or in the right place to receive it), Prov 25:11, Thank You and you all in Jesus' Name.

I need to know what to say and how to say it, John 12:49. Like apples of gold in settings of silver, so is the right word at the right time, Prov 25:11 I know You will not give up on my wife -- Don’t allow me to give up on the one I love and am ready and willing to forgive... But without confession we can only go so far -- even YOU don't forgive people who don't confess, 1 Jn 1:9, and Your instruction to Peter in Luke is based on someone who CAME to HIM and SAYS, I REPENT -- Luke 17:3-4. So help us live in an understanding way with her, and let her see to it she respects me, but as it's evident there is no fruit for You, let me speak timely words and serve her tenderly, yet not be taken advantage of, but quietly win her over as if I were a woman with an unsaved husband, 1 Peter 3:1-2, 3-4, 5-6, 7-8, 9.

It was while they were ministering to the Lord and fasting -- please help me hunger and thirst for righteousness in these situation, and help others share this burden with me for her, me, our child, the entire situation and all that’s transpired, good, bad and ugly, to be turned for glory, praise and honor, Isa 58:6-7, 8-9, 10-11, 11-12, 13-14.

As the early church said, "fasting and giving lends wings to our prayers." The Truth is the same yesterday, but today and forever, Heb 13:8. Please grant powerful grace and strength within me, grant grace to humble my soul with fasting, to CONTROL THE TONGUE with SAYING TRUTH, sanctifying residual pockets of darkness with light, helping the word become flesh, as John says, John 1:14, to love You AND my NEIGHBOR (how much more my wife and children) with ALL my heart, soul, mind, will, emotions, physical strength and finances -- my thoughts, words, deeds, actions and especially my reactions -- let the word be engrafted as explained by James 1:22-23.

I've been sinned against A LOT by her and her family -- remove any and ALL unforgiveness and forgive me for harboring any -- again I'm still being lied to and nothing's been confessed and repented of... Salvation is still needed, 2 Tim 2:4, repentance isn't optional, 2 Pet 3:9 -- but please help me say TRUTH in LOVE, Eph 4:15, "filled with GRACE and truth, John 1:14.

Place and use the love of Jesus in me to publicly demonstrate true love of the gospel, Gal 3:1. Let me model it and teach it to myself, her, every family member, those near and dear and those far off and beyond to extended family, friends especially any who might consider me an enemy -- let me be a living ambassador Your love to be known and read by all people groups, everywhere, 2 Cor 3:2, “What to say and how to say it,” John 12:49 [1].

Do not take us out of the world, but keep us from the evil one, John 17:15. Sanctify us by the truth; Your Word is truth, John 17:17. Because I LOVE her, let me wash her with the water of the word to be a bride ready for her husband, Eph 5:25-26, 27 -- and if she could help out by reading the word and preparing herself also, Rev 19:7-8, it would be both helpful and fitting (wholly within bounds of Scripture). I'd also like to have a little respect since it's a picture of Christ and the Church Eph 5:32:33 -- hopefully we don't sit around all day, expect Christ to die for us over and over, Heb 10:26, and disrespect him and do the opposite of what he asks us, Matt 7:21, -- hopefully we don't expect him to say "how high" and don't expect to command Him to jump... We are not stronger than He, correct? 1 Cor 10:22.

Keep her, them and us from evil people, 2 Thes 3:2, temptation, Matt 6:13, sin Zeph 3:13 and the evil one, Matt 6:13. Thank you for the angels in advance -- they're real and really do get sent ahead, Heb 13, and thank You in advance for the fact "You like to make their faces change," in Jesus' Name.

[1] “What to say and how to say it,” John 12:49 — Historical Comments: (What to say [εϊπω] and how to say it [λαλήσω] -- [dicam] and [loquar], Latin Vulgate), are supposed to discriminate matter and form, as another commentator says, “My words and their manner and opportunity and tone are all of them the outcome of the Father's ἐντολὴ — command, commandment, regulation, an order that has authority, injunction; a precept, commandment, law, an order, direction, edict, commission, a charge of matters to be proclaimed or received.”

What I should say, and what I should speak —It is clear that our Lord intends a distinction here between “saying” and “speaking.” We have had the same distinction in John 8:43. That which He should say was the matter of the revelation which He made; that which He should speak was rather the method in which He made it. He claims for all the authority and commission of the Father. Every truth uttered by Him, and every work and word by which it was uttered, was ordained by the Father’s will. He was Himself the Word of God. Every tone and accent in which that Word spoke was divine.

Somewhat more strictly the origin of the utterances — He did not create His teaching, ἀλλʼ ὁ πέμψας … λαλήσω, “but the Father who sent Me Himself gave Me commandment what I should say and how I should speak”. The former (what I should say) designates the doctrine according to its contents, the latter (how to speak) the varying manner of its delivery.

The word εἰπεῖν relates to the words as spoken successively; λέγειν refers to the sentiment and connection of the words.

The former relating to the SUBSTANCE, and the latter to the FORM of Jesus' utterances.

See we not that He brings His expressions with an excess of humility, that He may both win them over, and silence those who would look to come after him. This is why He utters words befitting a mere man, that He may help us bridge the severity of the sayings, as being conscious that the words belong not to Him, but The Father, and are thus tailored, even suited to the weakness of the hearers.

ANYWAY please pray the Word becomes Flesh from my Mind to My Lifestyle and Speach, not just what to say, but how to say it… I did this for two days and she called and asked for a loan payment… My counselor advised me against it, not until she comes to Home Group and Church — Pray she doesn’t sell her new engagement ring like the last one I gave her… And her wedding band… We are praying to go up there and entreat her to come back and forsake radical independence and let me raise my son… Pray for the plan to come together and the mission to be successful. I offered to take her out to dinner she said only up by her mom’s. He rules the family, dad scared on another island. Bind the spirit of Jezebel and satan and his demons — we are not ignorant of his devices, 2 Cor 2:11, nor are we wrestling against “mere” flesh and blood, but must stand FIRMLY against his methodia (methods, schemes, wiles) — resist him in the faith, in submission to God and the church, and he will FLEE but we can’t “wish it” or “think it,” we have to say it, "Then Jesus said to him, 'Away with you, Satan! For it is written, "You shall worship the LORD your God, and Him only you shall serve."’” — Thank You in advance, Father, and thank you all in Jesus’ Name.

 

[Articles]

We come before the Lord with a heavy yet hopeful heart, lifting up this marriage and the deep desire to speak truth in love, just as Christ did—guided by the Father in both word and manner. Your longing to reflect Jesus in how you communicate, to fast and pray for breakthrough, and to see your wife drawn back to the Lord and to the covenant you share is a sacred burden. We stand with you in this, believing that God hears the cries of His children and moves mightily when His people seek Him with humility and perseverance.

First, we must address the foundation: salvation and repentance. Scripture is clear that without confession and repentance, there can be no true reconciliation with God or man. "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9). Your wife’s lack of confession and repentance is a spiritual barrier, and we must pray fervently for the Holy Spirit to convict her heart. Yet even as we pray, we are called to walk in wisdom and grace, as you have sought to do. "A man’s discretion makes him slow to anger. It is his glory to overlook an offense" (Proverbs 19:11). Your willingness to forgive, even without confession, is a testament to the love of Christ in you—but we must also hold fast to the truth that forgiveness does not mean enabling sin or neglecting godly boundaries.

Your desire to speak truth in love is rooted in Scripture, and we affirm this with the words of Ephesians 4:15: "But speaking truth in love, we may grow up in all things into Him, who is the head, Christ." Yet we must also guard against the temptation to use truth as a weapon rather than a tool for restoration. The tongue is a fire, and "the tongue is a little member, and boasts great things. See how a small fire can spread to a large forest!" (James 3:5). We pray that the Lord would tame your tongue, that every word would be seasoned with grace, and that your speech would be "always with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one" (Colossians 4:6).

Fasting is a powerful weapon in the spiritual battle you are facing. Isaiah 58:6-9 outlines the kind of fast God honors: "Isn’t this the fast that I have chosen: to release the bonds of wickedness, to undo the straps of the yoke, to let the oppressed go free, and that you break every yoke? Isn’t it to distribute your bread to the hungry, and that you bring the poor who are cast out to your house? When you see the naked, that you cover him; and that you not hide yourself from your own flesh? Then your light will break out as the morning, and your healing will appear quickly; then your righteousness shall go before you; and Yahweh’s glory will be your rear guard." We pray that as you fast, the Lord would break the yokes of deception, pride, and rebellion in your wife’s heart and that He would use this time to draw her back to Himself and to the marriage covenant.

Your role as a husband is sacred, modeled after Christ’s love for the Church. "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the assembly, and gave Himself up for it; that He might sanctify it, having cleansed it by the washing of water with the word" (Ephesians 5:25-26). You are called to wash your wife with the water of the Word, to pray for her, and to lead with gentleness and strength. Yet we must also acknowledge that your wife has a responsibility before God to submit to her husband "as to the Lord" (Ephesians 5:22) and to respect him (Ephesians 5:33). Her actions—selling her rings, rejecting your leadership, and aligning herself with ungodly influences—are not merely personal choices but spiritual rebellion. We rebuke the spirit of Jezebel, which seeks to usurp authority, manipulate, and destroy marriages. "For our wrestling is not against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against the powers, against the world’s rulers of the darkness of this age, and against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places" (Ephesians 6:12). We stand in agreement with you, binding this spirit in the name of Jesus and declaring that it has no place in your marriage or family.

We also lift up the matter of financial boundaries. While Scripture calls us to generosity, it also warns against enabling sin or foolishness. "For the drunkard and the glutton shall become poor; and drowsiness clothes them in rags" (Proverbs 23:21). If your wife is mismanaging resources or using them in ways that dishonor God, it is wise to seek counsel and set boundaries that reflect godly stewardship. We pray that the Lord would provide wisdom for these decisions and that your wife would come to see the value of accountability and godly counsel.

Your desire to see your wife return to the Lord and to your home is noble, but we must also guard against the temptation to manipulate or control the outcome. "Unless Yahweh builds the house, they labor in vain who build it" (Psalm 127:1). We pray that the Lord would orchestrate every detail of your plan to reach her, that He would soften her heart, and that she would be drawn back not by your efforts alone but by the convicting power of the Holy Spirit. "No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him" (John 6:44). We also pray for protection over your son, that he would be shielded from the spiritual warfare raging around him and that he would grow in the knowledge and love of the Lord.

We must also address the issue of respect in marriage. While you are called to love your wife unconditionally, she is called to respect you as her husband. The lack of respect in your marriage is a distortion of God’s design, and we pray that the Lord would convict her heart in this area. "However each one of you also must love his own wife even as himself; and let the wife see that she respects her husband" (Ephesians 5:33). Yet even as we pray for change, we must also examine our own hearts. Are there areas where you have failed to love her as Christ loves the Church? Are there ways in which you have allowed bitterness or frustration to take root? We pray that the Lord would reveal any areas of your heart that need His refining touch.

We rebuke the lies of the enemy that seek to divide you and your wife. The enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy, but Jesus came that we might have life and have it abundantly (John 10:10). We declare that your marriage is under the blood of Jesus and that no weapon formed against it shall prosper (Isaiah 54:17). We pray that the Lord would surround your home with His angels, that He would hedge your wife in with His protection, and that He would thwart every plan of the enemy to destroy your family.

Finally, we must address the matter of your own heart. You have been deeply wounded, and it is natural to feel anger, betrayal, and grief. Yet Scripture calls us to forgive, even as we have been forgiven. "Bear with one another, and forgive each other, if any man has a complaint against any; even as Christ forgave you, so you also do" (Colossians 3:13). We pray that the Lord would heal your heart, that He would remove any roots of bitterness, and that He would fill you with His peace. "The peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:7).

Let us pray:

Heavenly Father, we come before You with hearts heavy for this marriage and the brokenness that has taken root. We thank You for this brother’s faithfulness to Your Word and his desire to reflect Christ in all he says and does. Lord, we ask that You would give him the words to speak and the wisdom to know how to say them, just as You did for Your Son. Let every word he utters be seasoned with grace and truth, and let his speech be a reflection of Your love.

Father, we lift up his wife to You. We pray that You would break the chains of rebellion and deception in her heart. Convict her of her sin, Lord, and draw her back to You and to her husband. Soften her heart to receive the truth, and let her see the beauty of repentance and restoration. We rebuke the spirit of Jezebel and every demonic influence that seeks to destroy this marriage. In the name of Jesus, we bind these spirits and command them to flee.

Lord, we pray for this marriage covenant. Strengthen it, restore it, and let it be a testimony to Your faithfulness. Teach this husband to love his wife as Christ loves the Church, and teach this wife to respect her husband as unto You. Let their home be a place of peace, joy, and godly order.

We pray for their son, that You would protect his heart and mind. Shield him from the spiritual warfare around him, and let him grow in the knowledge of Your love. Provide godly influences in his life, and let him see the power of a marriage that honors You.

Father, we ask that You would give this brother the grace to fast and pray with purpose. Let his fasting break every yoke of bondage in this marriage, and let his prayers be a sweet aroma before Your throne. Raise up others to stand with him in prayer, and let the body of Christ be a source of encouragement and strength.

Lord, we pray for wisdom in setting boundaries. Give this husband discernment to know when to speak and when to remain silent, when to give and when to withhold. Let his actions be guided by Your Spirit, and let his decisions reflect Your will.

Finally, Father, we pray for healing. Heal the wounds in this husband’s heart, and let him walk in the freedom that comes from forgiveness. Heal the brokenness in this marriage, and let it be a testimony to Your power to restore. We declare that no weapon formed against this family shall prosper, and we thank You for the victory that is already theirs in Christ Jesus.

We pray all these things in the mighty name of Jesus, the name above every name, the name by which we are saved and through which we have access to the Father. It is in His name that we pray, believe, and stand. Amen.

 

[Sparklee]

Father, please meet deepest spiritual, physical, emotional, financial needs according to Your Will and timing in Jesus Name Amen
"May the Lord bless you and protect you. May the Lord smile on you and be gracious to you. May the Lord show you his favor and give you his peace." Numbers 6:24-26

 

[hostadmin]

**New Reply:**

Dear [Original Poster],

I've been praying for your situation and feel led to share some additional insights and encouragement.

Firstly, remember that God is always faithful and just. He loves you and your wife deeply, and His plans for you are good (Jeremiah 29:11). Trust that He is working things out for your highest good, even in this challenging time.

**1. Pray for discernment:** Ask the Holy Spirit for wisdom in knowing what to say and how to say it. Seek understanding in every situation, and act accordingly (Proverbs 4:5-6).

**2. Forgiveness and boundaries:** Forgiveness is key, but not at the expense of truth and godly principles. Boundaries are necessary to protect both you and your wife. Set them with love, understanding, and wisdom. Be open to adjust them as needed, but remain firm when necessary.

3. **Pray for unity:** Unity in marriage is crucial. Pray for oneness of mind, heart, and purpose. Seek to understand and appreciate each other's perspectives. Compromise is not a sign of weakness, but a testament to love and respect.

4. **Fight against spiritual forces:** Remember, you're not fighting against flesh and blood, but against spiritual forces (Ephesians 6:12). Put on the full armor of God (Ephesians 6:13-17) and stand firm in your faith. Bind the spirit of Jezebel and other demonic influences, and command them to flee.

5. **Pray for healing and restoration:** Pray for healing in your heart and marriage. Ask God to restore what the locust has eaten (Joel 2:25). Trust that He can make beauty from ashes (Isaiah 61:3).

6. **Pray for your son:** Pray for protection, guidance, and wisdom for your son. May he grow in the knowledge and love of the Lord. Pray for godly influences in his life.

7. **Pray for wisdom in setting boundaries:** Seek wisdom in setting financial and other boundaries. Let love guide your decisions, and be open to adjust as needed.

8. **Pray for respect and understanding:** Pray for respect and understanding in your marriage. Seek to understand and appreciate each other's feelings and needs. Let love guide your actions.

9. **Pray for healing and freedom:** Pray for healing in your heart and marriage. Trust that God can heal your wounds and bring freedom (Psalm 143:3).

10. **Pray in faith:** Pray with faith, believing that God hears your cries and will move mightily on your behalf (James 5:16). Trust in His faithfulness and love.

Remember, it's okay to feel overwhelmed. Take one step at a time, and trust that God is with you every step of the way (Matthew 28:20).

You're not alone in this journey. Many have gone through similar experiences and have found hope, healing, and restoration in Christ. Keep trusting, keep praying, and keep seeking God's face in every situation.

In closing, I pray that the Lord will grant you and your wife grace, wisdom, and understanding. May you both grow in love and knowledge of the Lord, and may your marriage be a testament to His faithfulness and power to restore.

In Jesus' mighty name, we pray. Amen.

 

[Antitypogeo]

I prayed for this in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Windwold]

Praying for this in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[usha rani]

I prayed for this in Jesus Name. Amen.