Want to end it all

[Anonymous]

I wanna leave this earth. I’m constantly bullied and persecuted by my family and community of ### . The hometown I grew up in. I’m a cast out . Life will be better without me. It’s an ungodly people who hate me and resent me. And I’m Im ugly to them. They love the outward appearances. My brother and everyone I grew up with betrayed me. If God loved me he won’t send me to hell, it’s selfish of God for me to be here when I’m obviously to weak and stupid to make a life of my own . I’m beyond heartbroken . I wanan leave this world. Even the Christians are very evil and do no have the heart of Christ. God must hate me. He can never vindicate me or punish the evil people who are doing evil things ! They love money and the power they have over me financially. I hate God for the suffering . God is not real . God is cruel and evil just like the cruel and evil people around me. I don’t believe in that evil god anymore !

 

[Articles]

We hear the depth of your pain, and our hearts ache with you. What you’re enduring is not just difficult, it is unjust, cruel, and deeply wounding. The rejection, betrayal, and persecution you’ve faced are real, and no one should have to bear such weight alone. But we want you to know this: your life has immense value, not because of what others say or how they treat you, but because the God of the universe sees you, knows you, and loves you with a love that is fierce, unshakable, and eternal.

You say God must hate you, but Scripture tells us the opposite. In Jeremiah 31:3, the Lord says, "I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore with loving kindness I have drawn you." And in Romans 8:38-39, we read, "For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from God’s love which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Even when it feels like the world has turned against you, God has not. He sees every tear, every injustice, and every moment of your suffering. He is not indifferent, He is near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18).

You feel weak and powerless, but God’s strength is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). You feel stupid, but God does not measure you by the world’s standards, He looks at the heart (1 Samuel 16:7). You feel ugly, but in God’s eyes, you are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). The people who have hurt you are wrong. Their cruelty does not define you, God does.

You say God is cruel, but let us tell you about the God we know. He is not distant or cold. He entered into our suffering through Jesus Christ, who was despised and rejected, acquainted with grief (Isaiah 53:3). Jesus knows what it is to be betrayed, mocked, and abandoned. He knows what it is to cry out, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" (Matthew 27:46). But He also rose from the dead, defeating sin and death so that we could have hope, not just for this life, but for eternity. If you feel like God has abandoned you, look to the cross. That is where He proved His love for you.

You say God won’t send you to hell, but the truth is, we have all sinned and fallen short of God’s glory (Romans 3:23). Hell is not God’s desire for anyone, He does not wish for any to perish but for all to come to repentance (2 Peter 3:9). But sin separates us from God, and the only way to be reconciled to Him is through Jesus Christ. In John 14:6, Jesus says, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." There is no other name by which we can be saved (Acts 4:12). If you feel far from God, it is not because He has moved, it is because sin has created a distance. But Jesus bridged that gap when He died for you.

You say the Christians around you are evil and do not have the heart of Christ. Sadly, this can be true. Not everyone who claims to follow Jesus lives like Him. But do not let the failures of people keep you from the truth of who God is. Jesus warned that there would be wolves in sheep’s clothing (Matthew 7:15), but He also promised that His true followers would be known by their love (John 13:35). If you have been hurt by those who claim to be believers, we grieve with you. That is not the love of Christ. But do not let their hypocrisy turn you away from the One who is faithful.

You feel like you have no vindication, no justice. But God sees everything. In Romans 12:19, He says, "Vengeance belongs to me; I will repay." The people who have hurt you will answer to God for their actions. But your job is not to seek revenge, it is to trust God with your pain. In Isaiah 61:7, God promises, "Instead of your shame you will have double; and instead of dishonor, they will rejoice in their portion. Therefore in their land they will possess double. Everlasting joy will be theirs." This is His promise to you.

You say you want to leave this world, but we beg you, don’t. Your life matters. Your story is not over. God has a purpose for you, even if you cannot see it right now. In Jeremiah 29:11, He says, "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says Yahweh, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope and a future." You may feel like a cast-out now, but God can restore what has been broken. He can turn your mourning into dancing (Psalm 30:11). He can take the ashes of your life and make them beautiful (Isaiah 61:3).

We know you are exhausted. We know you are in pain. But we also know that God is bigger than your suffering. He is bigger than the people who have hurt you. He is bigger than your doubts, your anger, and your despair. And He is reaching out to you right now, not to condemn you, but to save you.

So we pray for you now, with everything in us:

Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up this precious soul who is hurting so deeply. Lord, You see every wound, every tear, every moment of betrayal and rejection. You know the weight they carry, and You are near to them in their pain. Father, we ask that You would wrap Your arms around them right now. Let them feel Your presence in a tangible way. Remind them that they are not alone, that You are with them, and that You will never leave them nor forsake them (Deuteronomy 31:6).

Lord, we rebuke the lies of the enemy that tell them their life has no value, that they are unloved, and that You have abandoned them. We speak truth over them: they are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14), they are loved with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3), and You have plans for them, plans for hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). Break the chains of despair, Lord. Lift the heaviness from their heart. Replace their sorrow with Your peace, which surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7).

Father, we ask that You would heal the wounds inflicted by those who have persecuted them. Where there has been betrayal, bring restoration. Where there has been rejection, show them Your acceptance. Where there has been injustice, bring Your justice. Lord, we pray for the people who have hurt them, that You would soften their hearts, open their eyes to their own sin, and draw them to repentance. But we also pray that You would protect this one from bitterness. Help them to forgive, not because what was done to them was right, but because You have forgiven them (Colossians 3:13).

Lord, we know they are struggling to see You right now. They feel like You are cruel, but we know that You are good. You are love. You are light, and in You there is no darkness at all (1 John 1:5). Help them to see You as You truly are. Help them to understand that the cross is proof of Your love, that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). Draw them to Yourself, Lord. Let them encounter Your love in a way that transforms their heart.

We pray for their physical and emotional safety. If they are in danger, intervene, Lord. Provide a way of escape. Surround them with people who will love them, support them, and point them to You. Give them the strength to keep going, one day at a time. And if they are struggling with thoughts of ending their life, we ask that You would break the power of those lies. Remind them that You have a purpose for them, that their story is not over, and that joy comes in the morning (Psalm 30:5).

Lord, we ask that You would reveal Yourself to them in a powerful way. Let them know that You are real, that You are good, and that You are for them. Let them experience Your peace, Your comfort, and Your hope. And if they do not yet know You as their Savior, we pray that today would be the day. Open their heart to receive Jesus Christ as Lord. Let them understand that salvation is found in no one else (Acts 4:12), and that through Him, they can have eternal life (John 3:16).

We trust You, Lord, with their life. We trust You with their pain. We trust You to work all things together for their good (Romans 8:28). And we declare that their best days are not behind them, they are ahead. In Jesus’ mighty name we pray, Amen.

Please, beloved, do not give up. Reach out to someone, a pastor, a counselor, a trusted friend. You do not have to carry this alone. And if you are in immediate danger, please seek help. Your life is worth fighting for. God is fighting for you, even when you cannot see it. Hold on. Better days are coming.

 

[hostadmin]

We read your words, and our hearts ache. The pain you’re describing, the rejection, the constant hurt, the exhaustion of feeling beaten down by people who should have been safe, is enormous, and we are so sorry you’re carrying all of that alone right now.

If you are in immediate danger, contact your local emergency services right now. For free, confidential support, find a helpline in your country at findahelpline.com. You don’t have to sort through this darkness by yourself; trained listeners are ready to stay on the phone with you tonight.

We won’t argue with what you’re feeling toward God right now. The anger, the doubt, the sense that if He were real He would have stepped in, it all makes complete sense when you have been crushed by people who claim His name. Please know we don’t see a weak or stupid person in your message. We see someone who has been treated with terrible cruelty and is still honest enough to put that into words. That takes a kind of strength you may not be able to feel yet.

Right now the most urgent thing is your safety. Suicidal thoughts don’t mean life has no future; they often mean the pain has simply gotten too heavy to carry without help. We are asking you to let someone bear a little of it with you. Please reach out to that helpline, even just to talk and let the pressure out for a few minutes. You matter. We would be heartbroken to lose you.

Jesus, be near this hurting person right now. You know what it is to be rejected and betrayed. Quiet the voices that say they are worthless, and surround them with Your protection. Give them even the smallest flicker of hope to hold onto tonight. Send someone to show them kindness that doesn’t wound. In Your name, amen.

 

[halleluiah33]

Praying for this request in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[flora]

I prayed for this request in Jesus Name.

 

[Zdoraomoor]

Praying for this request in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Spurgeon]

When the pain cuts so deep that every breath feels like a wound, and the darkness presses in until you cannot remember what light ever looked like, I would not rush past that. I would sit with you in it. But I must first say plainly: if the thought of leaving this earth is more than a cry tonight, if it has hardened into a settled purpose, please, reach out now to those who are trained to stand with you in such an hour. Go to someone you can see face to face, or if no one is near, go to findahelpline.com and speak with a soul who will listen. Do not let the shadows swallow you while help is still within reach.

Now let me come alongside you, not with polished phrases, but with a hand on your shoulder and a quiet word.

You have been betrayed. I hear that. Not by strangers, that would be easier, but by your own brother, by the faces you grew up watching, by the very streets you once called home. And when Christians themselves have shown you a heart nothing like Christ's, the wound goes deeper still. It is one thing to be wounded by the world; it is another to be wounded in the place you fled to for shelter. No wonder you feel cast out. No wonder you have begun to believe that God Himself must be like them, cold, cruel, loving only what looks lovely on the outside.

But what if the God you are rejecting is not the true God at all? What if the god you have seen in those people is an idol carved from their own hardness, and the living Christ is nothing like that? They have shown you a religion of outward appearance, a faith that loves money and power. That is not new. The worst wounds our Lord ever received came from religious men who polished their public prayers while their hearts were far from Him. He knows what it is to be betrayed by His own. The kiss in the garden was not from an enemy, it was from a friend who had walked with Him for years. So when you say you are beyond heartbroken, there is One who does not merely pity you from a distance. He has walked that road Himself, and He knows every stone on it.

You say you are too weak and too stupid to make a life of your own. Good. That is a truer thing than you perhaps realize, though not in the way you mean it. The truth is that none of us can make a life of our own. We were never meant to. A branch cannot grow fruit by its own effort when it has been severed from the vine. The strength you have been trying to summon from within yourself was never going to be enough, not because you are especially deficient, but because no human soul carries that kind of resource inside itself. The very weakness you despise may be the one honest place in you where God can finally get a grip.

You hate God for the suffering. I will not pretend that is a small thing to say, or that it shocks Him. He has heard worse from lips He still loved. The psalmists cried out in bitterness, and He preserved their words in Scripture for all to read. He is not afraid of your anger. He does not retreat from your accusations. He is large enough to hold them. But I would ask you gently: is the God you hate the God who hung on a cross? Because if you are picturing a deity who sits at a safe distance, untouched, unmoved, watching you drown while demanding praise, that is not the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. The God of the Bible did not stay remote. He came into the very mess, into the betrayal, into the spitting and the mocking and the nails. He did not send a servant to suffer for us; He came Himself. Whatever else you believe tonight, believe this: God has not asked you to endure anything He was unwilling to taste.

You said it is selfish of God to keep you here. But think of it another way. A ship in deep water may feel itself abandoned, especially when the waves climb over the bow and the wind screams. But the anchor is down in the dark where no one can see it, and the hand that cast it holds firm. You feel you are adrift. You are not. The very fact that you are still breathing means God has not finished with you yet. He does not keep people alive out of cruelty. If He wanted to be rid of you, He could have let you go long ago. There is a reason you are here this very hour, reading these words. There is something He means to do in you and through you that no one else can fulfill.

And as for vindication, you say He can never punish the evil people who are doing evil things, and that He can never clear your name. But you are judging a story that has not reached its final page. The Egyptians thought they had Israel crushed under their heels forever. They multiplied the burdens, they tightened the grip, they laughed at the idea that any Deliverer would ever come. And all the while, while they were counting their bricks and their profits, God was quietly multiplying the groaning people in the shadows. The more they were afflicted, the more they grew. The very oppression meant to destroy them became, in God's strange and sovereign hands, the soil out of which their deliverance would spring. He does not always settle accounts on our timetable. But He does settle them. Not one cruel word, not one cold glance, not one betrayal escapes His notice. The Psalmist said that God's thoughts toward us are more than the sand. Every single grain of your sorrow has been counted. Not one has fallen to the ground unnoticed.

I know your thoughts are a storm right now. Multitudes of them, rushing in like angry waves, each one telling you a different version of despair, that you are ugly, that you are hated, that God has turned His face away, that death would be sweeter than another day of this. But listen to me carefully: those thoughts are not the truth. They are the noise of the tempest, not the voice of the Navigator. And in the midst of that roaring, there is a still, small word being spoken over you. It is the word of One who thinks about you continually, not with the contempt of your accusers, but with a love that you cannot yet feel but which is more real than the ground beneath your feet. His thoughts are not your thoughts. Your thoughts say, "I am cast away." His thoughts say, "I have called you by name; you are Mine." Your thoughts say, "God hates me." His thoughts say, "I have loved you with an everlasting love." Your thoughts say, "There is no hope." His thoughts say, "I know the plans I have for you, plans to give you a future and a hope." And though your thoughts cannot climb up to His, His thoughts can come down to you. They come down in Christ. They come down in every mercy you have not yet recognized, in every breath you are still drawing, in every small, stubborn flicker of life that refuses to go out because He will not let it.

You do not need to be perfect to come to Him. You do not need to have your thoughts all sorted out. You do not even need to feel love toward Him right now. You only need to turn your face, however weakly, however doubtfully, in His direction. He will do the rest. He will perfect that which concerns you, not because you have been good enough, but because His mercy endures forever. And that forever includes this night.

Let me pray with you.

Lord Jesus, You were betrayed by those who ate bread with You. You were despised and rejected of men. You know what it is to be cast out. Look now upon this dear soul who is crushed under the weight of human cruelty and spiritual darkness. The thoughts within are multitudes, and they are fierce. Still the storm, O Christ. Speak peace. And in the long night, when no comfort seems to come, hold this one fast by a hope they cannot yet see. You have promised never to leave nor forsake. Prove Your promise true in ways that cannot be explained away. Gather up the broken pieces and make something beautiful. I do not ask this because of any goodness in us, but because of Your own unfailing mercy. Amen.

 

[usha rani]

Praying in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Jonathan_M]

Praying for this in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Chrysostom]

You speak of ending your life, of a God who must hate you, a God so cruel and evil you no longer believe. But listen: that despair whispering in your ear is the voice of the devil, and the devil never despairs of our destruction. Will you, made in God's image, despair of your own salvation? He wants you to believe you are too weak, too stupid, too ugly to be loved. He is a liar from the beginning.

You rage against the evil around you, against the betrayal of family, against Christians who lack Christ’s heart. Your anger is not wrong in itself, it is a weapon God placed within us. But we are meant to turn it against sin, not against the God who gave it. Use that fire to war against the despair that is eating your soul alive, to scourge the thought that your life is worthless. To hate God because others sin is to fall into the same pit they are in.

Look at our Lord. When Judas came to betray Him with a kiss, He did not call down legions of angels. He called him “friend” and went willingly to death. He knew the fullness of betrayal from His own inner circle. Do you think He does not see your wounds? The Son of Man will come as Judge; not one act of cruelty escapes His sight. Vengeance is not yours to dispense, it belongs to Him, and His timing is perfect. Do not imagine He is powerless to vindicate you. Abraham believed God could raise the dead; can He not lift you from this pit?

Those who persecute you for outward appearance or financial power are like Judas with his thirty pieces of silver, enslaved to a mad tyrant. They are to be pitied, not feared or envied. And as for Christians who act without love, they show they have not yet understood the meekness of Christ. Do not let their failure become your excuse to abandon the Faith.

Stephen was stoned by an ungodly mob, yet his last breath was a prayer for their forgiveness. The devout buried him with great lamentation, for they were human and their hearts broke. But Stephen was not defeated, he was received into glory. Your weakness is not a barrier to God’s strength. Stop measuring His love by your circumstances. The persecution that scattered the early Church seemed a catastrophe, yet God used it to spread the Gospel. What you suffer now, He can weave into a purpose you cannot yet see. Cling to life, not because you are strong, but because He is faithful, and He alone has the power to bring you up from the grave of despair.