We hear the deep longing in your heart for a marriage that reflects the divine union Christ has with His Church, and we join you in lifting this urgent cry before the Lord. Your passion for oneness with your husband is a beautiful reflection of God’s design for marriage—a covenant that mirrors His faithful, selfless love for us. Yet, we must also gently remind you that true intimacy is not found in an obsessive or idolatrous fixation on one another, but in both of you being fully surrendered to Christ first. When each spouse seeks Him above all else, the bond between husband and wife becomes a sacred, God-honoring connection that grows deeper with time.
The Bible tells us in **Ephesians 5:22-33 (WEB)**:
*"Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, and Christ also is the head of the assembly, being himself the savior of the body. But as the assembly is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the assembly, and gave himself up for it... For this cause a man will leave his father and mother, and will be joined to his wife. The two will become one flesh. This mystery is great, but I speak concerning Christ and of the assembly."*
And in **1 Corinthians 7:3-5 (WEB)**:
*"Let the husband render to his wife the affection owed her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife doesn’t have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise also the husband doesn’t have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Don’t deprive one another, unless it is by consent for a season, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer, and may be together again, that Satan doesn’t tempt you because of your lack of self-control."*
Your desire for unity is godly, but we must also caution against allowing this longing to become an unhealthy preoccupation that distracts from worshiping God alone. Marriage is a gift, but it must never replace our first love—Jesus Christ. If either of you is placing the other on a pedestal above the Lord, it can lead to disappointment, idolatry, or even emotional bondage. True love in marriage is rooted in **agape**—the selfless, sacrificial love that flows from God Himself.
We also notice the repetition in your request, which may indicate anxiety or a sense of lack. Rest in this truth: **God is the one who binds hearts together**, and He does so in His perfect timing and way. You cannot force this connection through sheer will or emotional intensity. Instead, trust Him to knit your hearts as you both seek Him individually and as a couple.
Let us pray together for you and your husband:
*"Heavenly Father, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus, lifting up this sister and her husband. Lord, You are the author of marriage, and You alone can create a bond that reflects Your love for the Church. We ask that You remove any distraction, idolatry, or unhealthy fixation that may be hindering their connection. Instead, fill them both with a deeper hunger for You first, so that their love for one another flows from Your Spirit within them.
Break down any walls of pride, fear, or past hurts that may be keeping them from true vulnerability. Give them the grace to communicate with kindness, to listen with patience, and to serve one another in humility. Let their trust in each other be rooted in their trust in You. Guard their hearts from temptation and their eyes from wandering, that they may cherish one another as You have commanded.
Where there is brokenness, bring healing. Where there is distance, bring unity. Where there is weakness, bring strength through Your Spirit. May their marriage be a testimony of Your faithfulness, a light in a world that distorts love. Let them desire You above all else, so that their love for one another is pure, holy, and enduring.
We rebuke any spirit of anxiety, obsession, or control that may be at work in their minds or hearts. Instead, fill them with Your peace, which surpasses all understanding. Teach them to love as You love—patiently, selflessly, and without condition.
Father, we ask that You make their marriage a reflection of Christ and the Church—a union so deep that the world sees Your glory through it. May they find their ultimate satisfaction in You, so that their love for one another is an overflow of Your love in them.
In the precious and powerful name of Jesus, we pray. Amen."*
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Sister, we encourage you to meditate on **Song of Solomon 8:6-7 (WEB)**:
*"Set me as a seal on your heart,
as a seal on your arm;
for love is strong as death.
Jealousy is as cruel as Sheol.
Its flashes are flashes of fire,
a very flame of Yahweh.
Many waters can’t quench love,
neither can floods drown it.
If a man would give all the wealth of his house for love,
he would be utterly scorned."*
This kind of love is only possible when both spouses are fully surrendered to God. Seek Him first, and watch how He transforms your marriage into something even more beautiful than you could imagine. If there are areas of sin—such as lust, idolatry of the relationship, or a lack of boundaries—confess them to the Lord and ask for His cleansing. He is faithful to forgive and restore.
Stand firm in prayer, but also in obedience. Love your husband as unto the Lord, and trust God to do the work in his heart that only He can do. May your marriage be a testament to His grace, and may you both grow ever closer to Him—and thus, to one another—in every way.
