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(July 13, 2011) Well, I talked to my OM (Operational Manager) today along with my previous and current supervisors. At work, like most workplaces today, we are on the point system where you are allows so many points before disciplinary actions are taken. Well, I’ve exceeded my points. My OM asked me why I had so many points, and I wasn’t going to say anything, but after thinking about it, I thought what do I have to lose at this point, right? So, I explained about my depression, what I think is the root cause, and my history with my previous supervisor and how he said he was going to help, but didn’t, and how I felt it was just a way to get me to come to work, and how that chain of events put me into a tailspin, which lead to another depression spell or episode. Well, after a very long talk, my OM said that she would try to help me, but it would depend on mostly me, and if she can get most of my points removed, and finally, the Site Director would have the last say… so, whether or not I have a job is going to depend on what the Site Director decides and if my points can be removed. Now, in the event that my job is secured, my OM said she would mentor me, and do everything she can to help me. Keep in mind that my supervisor said the same thing, which started the last downward spiral into depression, so I’m not sure how much I really believe her. If she is sincere, I hope that I can live up to her expectations, or better yet, go above and beyond her expectations. I’ve tried to reach out to so many people for help, hoping that someone would throw out a lifeline. It’s reached the point where I don’t know who to trust. On the other hand, I’m afraid that if my OM is sincere, my lack of confidence and depression is going to work against me. So, I really don’t know what to think right now. I just know I need help and hope this is part of God’s plan for me to finally get it, and it’s not someone just being deceitful again. I will continue to keep you posted… thanks for your support in prayer.
 
Praying for your unique situation in Jesus name I pray for your help. Amen.
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