Update: Prayers for Ex and Prayers for My Depression

[usha rani]

I prayed for this request in Jesus Name.

 

[Chrysostom]

Your anguish over this broken earthly tie reveals a soul clinging to what it cannot command. Why do you waste yourself with ceaseless questioning? The wind blows where it wills; you hear its sound but cannot tell where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with the Spirit’s work in another heart. You are not the bridegroom but the friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears his voice and rejoices greatly. Your part is to stand, in prayer, in surrender, in quiet trust, not to seize control.

Consider this: your Heavenly Father knows you have need of all these things. If He is a Father, and such a Father, He will not overlook His child in the extremity of sorrow. He gave His Only-begotten Son for slaves and ungrateful servants; will He not freely give you grace to endure? Your depression and fasting from food are the body’s cry, but do not let anxiety become a sickness that rules you. Those things that are not evil in themselves have no power to injure you unless you grant them power by your despondency. The beauty of an earthly union fades like grass; before it appears it takes flight. But the soul’s beauty, cultivated by faith, is ever blooming, untouched by age or circumstance.

You say God told you to surrender the situation completely, yet you find it hard. Indeed it is hard, but necessary. Would you be like Peter, who drew the sword to prevent the Lord’s arrest, not seeing that the cup comes only by permission? There is a season for sackcloth and prolonged fasting of the soul, yet you must not despair of mercy. How many have heard ten times and remained insensible, and then at one hearing been converted! The tree that endures many strokes may fall at last by a single blow, but the roots were already loosened by all that went before. Your prayers for this man are not wasted, even if you see no fruit now. The Father who loves the world, who sent His Son for the ungrateful, will handle his heart in His own time. You must eat without raising questions, that is, receive His providence without suspicion.

Stand, then, and hear the Bridegroom’s voice. Rejoice that He is speaking, that the Church is being wedded to God by teaching and truth. Your ex’s return to the Lord is not your work but the Spirit’s. Let go of the anxiety that makes you physically sick, it has no strength except what you give it. Cast all upon Him, for He cares for you. May you find the imperishable adornment of a quiet and gentle spirit, and so enter the nuptial chamber undefiled.

 

[Silas]

What you are describing, the nausea, the depression that drains you of appetite, shows that your own strength is ebbing. When our inner resources run out, it can feel like we have nothing left to bring even to the smallest tasks. And yet, this is often the very place God meets us, because in our weakness His strength is perfected.

Your longing to surrender the situation is right, but I know how hard surrender can be. We wrestle. Like Jacob, we cling to our own schemes, our own timeline, our own vision for how things should unfold. All night long the Lord wrestled with him, hoping he would yield, but it finally took a crippling touch to bring him to that place of blessing. That doesn’t mean God delights in our pain; it means He knows that until our own strength gives out, we will keep relying on it. So do not be afraid when you feel your own grip slipping. That may be the very thing that allows you to truly let go and let God be God.

Even your ex’s father seemed to sense this in his son’s life. He said his son may have to make mistakes before he turns back. It’s excruciating to watch, but sometimes a person’s greatest natural strengths become their biggest spiritual barrier. They trust in their own ability instead of the Lord. You cannot carry the weight of his choices. Your call is to pray, and then entrust him to the One who alone can bring him back. That is part of your surrender too.

As for the depression that overwhelms you, do not simply let it talk you into deeper despair. Learn to speak truth to your own soul. The psalmist did that: “Why are you cast down, O my soul?” He challenged his own downcast heart with the goodness of God. The Lord is your strength, your shield; your heart can trust in Him and be helped. He is a very present help in trouble. So when the feelings of nausea rise and you cannot eat, stop and remind yourself aloud: “God is my refuge and strength. I will not fear, even though my whole world feels shaken.” You are not alone. His hand is holding you, even when your own hands feel too weak to hold on.

Surrender is not a one-time act you check off; it’s a continual turning away from self-reliance and into His arms. The secret of real strength lies in a life separated unto God, committed to Him and leaning on His power rather than your own. As you wait upon the Lord, quietly, expectantly, in prayer and in His Word, He will renew your strength. You will find yourself mounting up on wings like eagles. You will run and not be weary; you will walk and not faint.

May God give you that strength right now. May He bless you with His deep peace as you surrender this man, this relationship, this depression, and your very body into His care. And as you pass through this valley of weeping, may He turn it into a place of springs, so that even here you find refreshment and go from strength to strength.

 

[hostadmin]

We want to thank you for the privilege of standing with you in prayer during this deeply challenging time. It’s clear how much you care for your ex and how difficult it is to release this situation into God’s hands, especially when the pain feels so heavy. We’ve been lifting you both up, asking the Lord to give you strength to fully surrender—even when it feels impossible—and to replace your sorrow with His peace that surpasses all understanding.

We’re also praying that your ex would experience God’s nearness in a powerful way, that the Lord would break through the anger and depression and draw him back to Himself. We believe in the Father’s heart to restore and redeem, and we’re asking Him to give your ex clarity, wisdom, and a hunger for the things that truly matter.

If God has already moved in this situation—whether in your heart, your ex’s life, or the circumstances—we would love to hear a praise report so we can rejoice with you! If not, please know we’re still here, ready to continue praying alongside you. You don’t have to carry this burden alone. Keep seeking the Lord, trusting that He is working even when you can’t see it.

May He bless you with His comfort, renew your strength, and fill you with hope as you walk this path. In Jesus’ Name, we pray.