We come before you with heavy hearts, grieving for the deep pain and despair you are carrying. Your suffering is real, and we do not take lightly the weight of your sorrow, fear, and hopelessness. Yet we must speak truth in love, for your words reveal a heart that is crying out for answers in the wrong places—and we long for you to find the *true* peace and purpose that can only come from Jesus Christ, the One who conquered death itself so that you might have life abundantly.
First, we must lovingly but firmly rebuking the desperate cry for your life to end. Your life is *precious* to God, even when you cannot feel it. The enemy of your soul seeks to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10), and these thoughts of despair are not from the Father of lights, who gives every good and perfect gift (James 1:17). Suicide is a permanent solution to temporary pain, and it robs you of the chance to see God’s redemption in your story. He is not finished writing it yet. The psalmist cried out in similar anguish: *"Why are you in despair, my soul? Why are you disturbed within me? Hope in God! For I shall still praise him: my Savior, my helper, and my God"* (Psalm 42:5-6). Even when you cannot see the way forward, He is there.
You have asked why God seems silent, why He allowed suffering in your past—cancer, loss, and now this crushing fear for your nation. These are honest questions, and we do not dismiss them. But we must challenge the lie that God’s silence means His absence. Jesus Himself, in His darkest hour, cried, *"My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"* (Matthew 27:46)—yet even in that moment, He trusted the Father’s plan. The Bible never promises a life free from pain, but it *does* promise that God is near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18) and that He works *all things*—even suffering—together for good for those who love Him (Romans 8:28). Your pain is not meaningless. Your life is not without purpose.
You mentioned that at 24, you felt God "packed His bags and left town." But it is *we* who turn away, not Him. Jesus said, *"Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, then I will come in to him, and will dine with him, and he with me"* (Revelation 3:20). He has never stopped knocking. The issue is not His existence or His care—it is whether you will let Him in *again*, this time with your questions, your anger, your doubts. True faith is not blind; it is *tested* and refined like gold in the fire (1 Peter 1:7). God is big enough for your hardest questions. He invites you to *"come now, and let’s reason together"* (Isaiah 1:18).
As for the state of our nation, we share your grief over the brokenness we see—corruption, division, and moral decay. But we must remind you: *God is still on His throne.* He raises up kings and brings them down (Daniel 2:21). His Word says, *"Don’t be afraid of sudden fear, neither of the desolation of the wicked when it comes. For Yahweh will be your confidence, and will keep your foot from being caught"* (Proverbs 3:25-26). Your security is not in governments or economies, but in the One who holds all things together (Colossians 1:17). If you are in Christ, no scheme of man or devil can separate you from His love (Romans 8:38-39).
Yet here is the most urgent truth: *You cannot have peace apart from Jesus.* You mentioned you "became a Christian" at 16, but salvation is not a one-time decision—it is a *daily surrender*. It is not about religion, but a *relationship* with the living God. If you have never truly repented of your sins and placed your faith in Christ alone for salvation, then no amount of begging the "universe" will fill the void in your soul. Jesus said, *"I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me"* (John 14:6). There is no other name under heaven by which we must be saved (Acts 4:12). Have you ever *personally* asked Jesus to be your Lord and Savior? Have you turned from your sins and trusted in His death and resurrection for your salvation? If not, we plead with you to do so *today*. Eternal life does not start when you die—it begins the moment you give your life to Christ.
Now, let us pray for you:
Heavenly Father, we lift up this beloved soul to You, broken and weary, drowning in despair. Lord, You see every tear they have cried, every sleepless night, every moment they have felt abandoned. We ask that You would *break through* the darkness with Your marvelous light. Send Your Holy Spirit to comfort them, to remind them that they are *not* alone, that You have *not* forgotten them. Father, rebuke the spirit of suicide and hopelessness in the mighty name of Jesus. Replace it with Your peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7).
Lord, we pray that You would open their eyes to see that their life has *purpose*—that You created them for *such a time as this* (Esther 4:14). Remind them that even in the valley of the shadow of death, You are with them (Psalm 23:4). Give them the courage to bring their questions, their anger, their doubts to You, knowing that You are big enough to handle them.
Father, if they have never truly surrendered to Jesus, we pray that today would be the day of salvation. Softens their heart to receive Your grace. If they have wandered, bring them back to the Shepherd of their souls. Fill them with Your Holy Spirit, that they may know the *hope* to which You have called them (Ephesians 1:18).
We pray for supernatural intervention in their circumstances—provision for their needs, protection from harm, and a renewed mind to see this world through Your eyes. Give them godly community, brothers and sisters in Christ who can walk with them, pray with them, and remind them of Your promises.
And Lord, we pray for our nation. We ask for Your mercy, for revival, for leaders who will seek Your wisdom. But even if the worst comes, help us all to remember that *You* are our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble (Psalm 46:1).
In the mighty name of Jesus, we bind every lie of the enemy and declare that *this life is worth living* because You have a plan for it. Satan, we command you to flee in Jesus’ name. Holy Spirit, fill every empty place with Your presence.
Father, we ask that You would give them the *will to live*—not just to endure, but to *thrive* in You. Restore their joy. Renew their strength. Let them testify one day of how You turned their mourning into dancing (Psalm 30:11).
We love you, dear one. Your life *matters*. You are not a mistake; you are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). The God who numbers the hairs on your head (Luke 12:7) has not forgotten you. Turn to Him. Cry out to *Jesus*, not the universe. He is listening. He is waiting. He loves you more than you can imagine.
*"Cast all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you"* (1 Peter 5:7). Will you do that today? Will you let Him carry this burden for you?
We are here. We are praying. And most importantly, *He is with you*. Do not give up. Your story is not over.
