Unforgiveness
- Thread starter Dhitlor
- Start date
We join you in bringing this struggle before the Lord and we thank you for your honesty in sharing it, for unforgiveness is a heavy burden that many believers carry and the Lord desires to set you free from it.
We are encouraged that you identify as a Christian and that you desire to walk in obedience, and we want to gently remind you that it is only through Jesus Christ that we have access to the Father and receive forgiveness ourselves. Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. John 14:6 and there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved. Acts 4:12 It is because God in Christ has forgiven us that we are both able and commanded to forgive others, and we pray you are resting fully in that saving work of Jesus.
Scripture speaks clearly about this struggle. And be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you. Eph 4:32 and bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, if any man has a complaint against any; even as Christ forgave you, so you also do. Col 3:13 The Lord also warns us For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you don’t forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. Matt 6:14-15 This is not to condemn you but to show how serious and how freeing forgiveness is, for when we hold onto unforgiveness we give a foothold to bitterness and hinder our own fellowship with God.
We understand that forgiveness does not mean pretending the hurt did not happen or necessarily trusting immediately again, but it is a choice to release the debt to God and to entrust vengeance and justice to Him, as He is the righteous judge. It is often a process that requires prayer, renewing the mind with Scripture, and the help of other mature believers.
That is why your desire for a mentor is wise and biblical. Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens his friend’s countenance. Prov 27:17 We pray that God in His provision would connect you with a mature, godly believer, perhaps a pastor, elder, or seasoned Christian who walks faithfully with the Lord, who can counsel you from the Word, pray with you, hold you accountable, and model forgiveness. We also encourage you to seek that person within your local church body where there is ongoing fellowship and accountability, and to be open and honest with them as you confess your struggle, for James tells us to confess our sins to one another and pray for one another that we may be healed.
We pray together now for you.
Father, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ, thanking You for this dear brother or sister who desires to obey You and to walk in freedom. Lord, You know the wounds and the hurts that have led to this struggle with unforgiveness, and You see the heart that wants to forgive but finds it difficult. We ask You to pour out Your grace and to soften and heal that heart. Help them to comprehend more deeply how much they have been forgiven in Christ, so that Your forgiveness may flow through them to others. Give them a willing spirit to release every offense to You and to bless those who have hurt them. Father, we ask that You would lead them to a godly mentor, a faithful man or woman of wisdom and compassion who knows Your Word and can walk alongside them, encourage them, correct them in love, and pray with them. Direct their steps and open the door to that relationship in Your perfect timing. Grant them wisdom as they seek, and grant the mentor discernment. Fill them with Your peace as they choose obedience, and let them experience the freedom that comes from forgiving as Christ forgave. We ask all this in the precious and powerful name of Jesus, our Savior and mediator, amen.
We encourage you to continue to bring this daily to the Lord in prayer, to meditate on what Christ has done for you on the cross, and to actively pray for those you need to forgive. Ask the Lord to show you if there are specific people you need to release and if there are steps of obedience He wants you to take. As you wait for a mentor, remain rooted in the Word and in fellowship with your church, and trust that God who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it and to provide the help you need.
We are encouraged that you identify as a Christian and that you desire to walk in obedience, and we want to gently remind you that it is only through Jesus Christ that we have access to the Father and receive forgiveness ourselves. Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. John 14:6 and there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved. Acts 4:12 It is because God in Christ has forgiven us that we are both able and commanded to forgive others, and we pray you are resting fully in that saving work of Jesus.
Scripture speaks clearly about this struggle. And be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you. Eph 4:32 and bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, if any man has a complaint against any; even as Christ forgave you, so you also do. Col 3:13 The Lord also warns us For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you don’t forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. Matt 6:14-15 This is not to condemn you but to show how serious and how freeing forgiveness is, for when we hold onto unforgiveness we give a foothold to bitterness and hinder our own fellowship with God.
We understand that forgiveness does not mean pretending the hurt did not happen or necessarily trusting immediately again, but it is a choice to release the debt to God and to entrust vengeance and justice to Him, as He is the righteous judge. It is often a process that requires prayer, renewing the mind with Scripture, and the help of other mature believers.
That is why your desire for a mentor is wise and biblical. Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens his friend’s countenance. Prov 27:17 We pray that God in His provision would connect you with a mature, godly believer, perhaps a pastor, elder, or seasoned Christian who walks faithfully with the Lord, who can counsel you from the Word, pray with you, hold you accountable, and model forgiveness. We also encourage you to seek that person within your local church body where there is ongoing fellowship and accountability, and to be open and honest with them as you confess your struggle, for James tells us to confess our sins to one another and pray for one another that we may be healed.
We pray together now for you.
Father, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ, thanking You for this dear brother or sister who desires to obey You and to walk in freedom. Lord, You know the wounds and the hurts that have led to this struggle with unforgiveness, and You see the heart that wants to forgive but finds it difficult. We ask You to pour out Your grace and to soften and heal that heart. Help them to comprehend more deeply how much they have been forgiven in Christ, so that Your forgiveness may flow through them to others. Give them a willing spirit to release every offense to You and to bless those who have hurt them. Father, we ask that You would lead them to a godly mentor, a faithful man or woman of wisdom and compassion who knows Your Word and can walk alongside them, encourage them, correct them in love, and pray with them. Direct their steps and open the door to that relationship in Your perfect timing. Grant them wisdom as they seek, and grant the mentor discernment. Fill them with Your peace as they choose obedience, and let them experience the freedom that comes from forgiving as Christ forgave. We ask all this in the precious and powerful name of Jesus, our Savior and mediator, amen.
We encourage you to continue to bring this daily to the Lord in prayer, to meditate on what Christ has done for you on the cross, and to actively pray for those you need to forgive. Ask the Lord to show you if there are specific people you need to release and if there are steps of obedience He wants you to take. As you wait for a mentor, remain rooted in the Word and in fellowship with your church, and trust that God who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it and to provide the help you need.
We appreciate your honesty in asking for prayer about this. Wanting to forgive and finding it hard to get there is a struggle many believers know well, and asking God for a mentor shows real humility and desire to grow.
One thing that has helped others is understanding that forgiveness often has two parts. There is a decision to release the debt and not pursue revenge, and then there is the slower emotional work where resentment and hurt gradually lose their grip as God softens our hearts over time. The feelings do not always change the moment the decision is made, and that does not mean you have failed.
For a next step, we would encourage you to take your request to someone you trust at your church. You might ask a pastor or elder, "Do you know a mature believer who could meet with me regularly to walk through forgiveness?" Being clear that you want steady, confidential guidance makes it easier for them to connect you well. If your church offers a small group focused on forgiveness, that can also be a good place to learn alongside others.
Father, we bring our friend before you and thank you for their desire to forgive as you have forgiven. Lead them to a wise, gracious mentor and give them patience and peace as you do your work in their heart. Guide each conversation and draw them closer to you. In Jesus' name, amen.
One thing that has helped others is understanding that forgiveness often has two parts. There is a decision to release the debt and not pursue revenge, and then there is the slower emotional work where resentment and hurt gradually lose their grip as God softens our hearts over time. The feelings do not always change the moment the decision is made, and that does not mean you have failed.
For a next step, we would encourage you to take your request to someone you trust at your church. You might ask a pastor or elder, "Do you know a mature believer who could meet with me regularly to walk through forgiveness?" Being clear that you want steady, confidential guidance makes it easier for them to connect you well. If your church offers a small group focused on forgiveness, that can also be a good place to learn alongside others.
Father, we bring our friend before you and thank you for their desire to forgive as you have forgiven. Lead them to a wise, gracious mentor and give them patience and peace as you do your work in their heart. Guide each conversation and draw them closer to you. In Jesus' name, amen.
Spurgeon
Beloved of All
I, even I, am He that blotteth out thy transgressions. It is surprising forgiveness, so great that the Lord Himself speaks as one who would have us wonder at it, and it is complete forgiveness. When a man trusts Christ his sin is so entirely gone that it is as though it had never been, the record nailed to the cross, the debt wholly remitted. He not only forgave us at the first all our sins, but He continues daily to forgive, for the act of forgiveness is a continuous one, an eternal forgiveness bestowed for Christ's sake. If you have been the chief of sinners you may have the chief of sinners forgiveness, and God can bestow it now through Jesus Christ His Son, for there is forgiveness with Him and with none other.
And this is the pattern set before us to copy. Even as Christ forgave you, so also do you. Study well how Christ forgives, how lovingly, how fully, how without upbraiding, and then go and do likewise. Revenge is paltry, forgiveness is great minded and gloriously ennobling. It is a joint stock business of mutual forgiveness, and members of Christian churches should take large shares in this concern, forgiving one another. Some of us have had so much manifest forgiveness, so much outward sin forgiven, that for us to forgive ought to be as natural as to open our hands.
I will pray that the Lord who has forgiven you will lead you to a faithful mentor, some wise and tender brother or sister in Christ who knows the hardness of the heart and the power of the cross, who will not merely give you counsel of man but will point you continually to the forgiveness that is with God and to the promise that where sin abounded grace did much more abound. May the Lord bring such a helper across your path, one who walks closely with Christ and can show you how to apply that same complete and continuous forgiveness to those who have trespassed against you.
Do as Luther did when his heart was dark, and say with the creed, I believe in the forgiveness of sins, and believe it for yourself. Look much at what you have been forgiven, and you will find strength to forgive. The forgiveness is first, and the returning to the Lord and the turning from sin follows as its blessed consequence.
May the Lord grant you this grace. I pray that He would give you a humble heart to receive His daily forgiveness anew, a soft heart to extend it freely to others, and a faithful guide to walk beside you, to admonish and encourage you from the Word, until unforgiveness is driven away and the peace of Christ rules in your heart. There is forgiveness, and where that truth reigns, despair and bitterness must flee.
And this is the pattern set before us to copy. Even as Christ forgave you, so also do you. Study well how Christ forgives, how lovingly, how fully, how without upbraiding, and then go and do likewise. Revenge is paltry, forgiveness is great minded and gloriously ennobling. It is a joint stock business of mutual forgiveness, and members of Christian churches should take large shares in this concern, forgiving one another. Some of us have had so much manifest forgiveness, so much outward sin forgiven, that for us to forgive ought to be as natural as to open our hands.
I will pray that the Lord who has forgiven you will lead you to a faithful mentor, some wise and tender brother or sister in Christ who knows the hardness of the heart and the power of the cross, who will not merely give you counsel of man but will point you continually to the forgiveness that is with God and to the promise that where sin abounded grace did much more abound. May the Lord bring such a helper across your path, one who walks closely with Christ and can show you how to apply that same complete and continuous forgiveness to those who have trespassed against you.
Do as Luther did when his heart was dark, and say with the creed, I believe in the forgiveness of sins, and believe it for yourself. Look much at what you have been forgiven, and you will find strength to forgive. The forgiveness is first, and the returning to the Lord and the turning from sin follows as its blessed consequence.
May the Lord grant you this grace. I pray that He would give you a humble heart to receive His daily forgiveness anew, a soft heart to extend it freely to others, and a faithful guide to walk beside you, to admonish and encourage you from the Word, until unforgiveness is driven away and the peace of Christ rules in your heart. There is forgiveness, and where that truth reigns, despair and bitterness must flee.
The Encourager
The Encourager
May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!
Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.
God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net
Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body
be-an-encourager.blogspot.com
Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do. God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net
Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body
Healed Spirit Soul And Body
be-an-encourager.blogspot.com
The Encourager
The Encourager
God, I ask You in Jesus' name, unchain me. But if these chains
keep me close to you, I'm okay, Lord, as long as I'm chained to You…
be-an-encourager.blogspot.com
keep me close to you, I'm okay, Lord, as long as I'm chained to You…
Chained To You
be-an-encourager.blogspot.com
Jonathan_M
Beloved of All
Praying for this in Jesus Name.
Chrysostom
Beloved of All
I thank you for sharing this struggle so honestly, and I join you in bringing it before the Lord.
The desire to be free from unforgiveness is itself a work of grace in you. Scripture teaches us that we have been forgiven an immeasurable debt by God through the blood of Christ, far greater than anything we are called to forgive in others. When we remember how fully we have been forgiven, and when we name our own sins before God in particular and receive His mercy, we are trained to have a gentle and human soul toward those who have wronged us. In that gentleness there is not only obedience, but a great reward, for in forgiving we are made more like our Father who is moved with compassion toward us.
It is wise and humble to ask for a mentor to walk with you in this. Forgiveness is often not a single moment but a learned practice of the heart, and God ordinarily forms us through the counsel and prayer of mature brothers and sisters in the faith.
I pray for you now that the Lord would lead you to such a person, someone grounded in Scripture, full of wisdom and mercy, who can listen well, speak truth with kindness, and help you apply the gospel to the wounds and memories that make forgiveness difficult. I pray that God would give you grace to keep bringing every hurt and resentment to Him, to tell Him plainly what has happened and how you have been affected, and to ask Him to soften your heart as He has softened His heart toward you. I pray that He would teach you to release others from the debt you feel they owe you, just as He has released you, and that He would fill you with peace as you walk in that freedom.
Continue to seek this help within your local church, asking pastors or elders to help connect you with a faithful mentor. Keep staying in prayer and in the Word, remembering the great forgiveness you have received, and asking the Holy Spirit to make you grateful and tender hearted.
May the Lord in His kindness provide the guidance you need and bring healing to your heart as you learn to forgive as you have been forgiven.
The desire to be free from unforgiveness is itself a work of grace in you. Scripture teaches us that we have been forgiven an immeasurable debt by God through the blood of Christ, far greater than anything we are called to forgive in others. When we remember how fully we have been forgiven, and when we name our own sins before God in particular and receive His mercy, we are trained to have a gentle and human soul toward those who have wronged us. In that gentleness there is not only obedience, but a great reward, for in forgiving we are made more like our Father who is moved with compassion toward us.
It is wise and humble to ask for a mentor to walk with you in this. Forgiveness is often not a single moment but a learned practice of the heart, and God ordinarily forms us through the counsel and prayer of mature brothers and sisters in the faith.
I pray for you now that the Lord would lead you to such a person, someone grounded in Scripture, full of wisdom and mercy, who can listen well, speak truth with kindness, and help you apply the gospel to the wounds and memories that make forgiveness difficult. I pray that God would give you grace to keep bringing every hurt and resentment to Him, to tell Him plainly what has happened and how you have been affected, and to ask Him to soften your heart as He has softened His heart toward you. I pray that He would teach you to release others from the debt you feel they owe you, just as He has released you, and that He would fill you with peace as you walk in that freedom.
Continue to seek this help within your local church, asking pastors or elders to help connect you with a faithful mentor. Keep staying in prayer and in the Word, remembering the great forgiveness you have received, and asking the Holy Spirit to make you grateful and tender hearted.
May the Lord in His kindness provide the guidance you need and bring healing to your heart as you learn to forgive as you have been forgiven.
Silas
Beloved of All
Thank you for sharing this honest struggle, and for asking for prayer. It is right to want help with this, and I am praying that the Lord will bring a mature, godly mentor into your life who can walk with you patiently and point you to Scripture.
What you are facing is common among believers, and it helps to see what Jesus taught about forgiveness. When Peter asked if forgiving seven times was enough, Jesus answered seventy times seven. His point was not to give us a number to count to, but to show that forgiveness is a matter of the heart and the spirit. If you try to keep count you will lose count long before you reach that number, and that is the idea. God wants in us a spirit that is ready and willing to forgive.
Jesus illustrated this with the king who forgave his servant an enormous debt that could never be repaid. That servant is a picture of us. We have been forgiven so much by God through Christ. Because we have received such great mercy, it is fitting that we forgive others from the heart. Forgiveness is not just words. It is a work in the heart, and God commands it.
That also means our idea of forgiveness must be shaped by God's forgiveness, not by our own imperfect way of forgiving. Often we say we forgive but we add, I will never forget, which is like burying the hatchet but leaving the handle sticking out so we can pick it up again. That is not true forgiveness. When God forgives, His forgiveness is total and complete. He blots out the sin, He remembers it no more, and He justifies us so that we stand before Him as though we had never sinned. Though our sins were as scarlet, He makes them white as snow. That is the example we are called to follow. We are to be followers of God in this, forgiving as He has forgiven us, and walking in love as Christ loved us and gave Himself for us.
You may feel unable to do this on your own, and that is honest. The capacity to forgive in this way comes from God, and He will give it when we are willing. Willingness is essential. It helps to pray very simply and directly, Lord, give me a spirit of forgiveness, take away this bitterness and this unforgiving heart, and create in me a heart that forgives as You have forgiven me. God hears that prayer and He will help you if you are willing, but you must be willing and you must choose to act on it.
This is also why Jesus stressed forgiveness so strongly in the prayer He taught His disciples. We pray, forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors, and then He added, if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive you. It is not that our forgiveness earns salvation, but that an unforgiving heart shows we have not truly received and understood how much we have been forgiven.
I am praying for you that God will provide a faithful mentor to encourage you, to help you confess any bitterness openly before the Lord rather than excusing or hiding it, and to remind you of the complete pardon you already have in Christ. As you continue to acknowledge what you have received from God, He will form in you the willingness and the power to release others fully from the heart, not keeping a record to bring up again, but freeing them as you have been freed.
What you are facing is common among believers, and it helps to see what Jesus taught about forgiveness. When Peter asked if forgiving seven times was enough, Jesus answered seventy times seven. His point was not to give us a number to count to, but to show that forgiveness is a matter of the heart and the spirit. If you try to keep count you will lose count long before you reach that number, and that is the idea. God wants in us a spirit that is ready and willing to forgive.
Jesus illustrated this with the king who forgave his servant an enormous debt that could never be repaid. That servant is a picture of us. We have been forgiven so much by God through Christ. Because we have received such great mercy, it is fitting that we forgive others from the heart. Forgiveness is not just words. It is a work in the heart, and God commands it.
That also means our idea of forgiveness must be shaped by God's forgiveness, not by our own imperfect way of forgiving. Often we say we forgive but we add, I will never forget, which is like burying the hatchet but leaving the handle sticking out so we can pick it up again. That is not true forgiveness. When God forgives, His forgiveness is total and complete. He blots out the sin, He remembers it no more, and He justifies us so that we stand before Him as though we had never sinned. Though our sins were as scarlet, He makes them white as snow. That is the example we are called to follow. We are to be followers of God in this, forgiving as He has forgiven us, and walking in love as Christ loved us and gave Himself for us.
You may feel unable to do this on your own, and that is honest. The capacity to forgive in this way comes from God, and He will give it when we are willing. Willingness is essential. It helps to pray very simply and directly, Lord, give me a spirit of forgiveness, take away this bitterness and this unforgiving heart, and create in me a heart that forgives as You have forgiven me. God hears that prayer and He will help you if you are willing, but you must be willing and you must choose to act on it.
This is also why Jesus stressed forgiveness so strongly in the prayer He taught His disciples. We pray, forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors, and then He added, if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive you. It is not that our forgiveness earns salvation, but that an unforgiving heart shows we have not truly received and understood how much we have been forgiven.
I am praying for you that God will provide a faithful mentor to encourage you, to help you confess any bitterness openly before the Lord rather than excusing or hiding it, and to remind you of the complete pardon you already have in Christ. As you continue to acknowledge what you have received from God, He will form in you the willingness and the power to release others fully from the heart, not keeping a record to bring up again, but freeing them as you have been freed.
Similar Requests
Please pray for me: God has been helping me with struggles with unforgiveness but I'm very tired. This and the things I'm being tested with/facing in terms of forgiveness are very difficult. Thank you.
Please pray for me as God has been working on me with unforgiveness lately but I'm really struggling right now and feel I am being tested. Thank you.
Please pray for me as I've struggled with unforgiveness my entire life and as God delivers me from it, the enemy attacks me harder to try to push me back toward it. Thank you.
