Unending Turmoil

[Rulourtha]

I've been on here for 2 years every week/month asking for prayer for my adult child with mental illness and addiction issues. The Lord has done alot in my sons life and I am thankful. The areas in need of chains breaking is job/career, friendship and hobbies. He refuses to get a job because he hates the world, the thought of working 8 hours a day doing something he hates only to give all of the money away. He wants to be part of a community environment. He went to visit a church on his own this week which is a praise! Yesterday he went to a young adult church get together and came home all depressed. I guess the women were very stand off ish and he feels like he is never gonna get a girlfriend and why would they want to date me anyway I have nothing to offer. Prayers the Lord will lead and guide his steps and take away his fears. Maybe if he would find a good hobby or volunteer work that would help too. So in the midst of all this already going on, now my husb and just got laid off from his job of 15 years. He is very hurt, upset and depressed as he did enjoy the job and the people he worked with. All that we are going thru is just making my son even more fearful of going out in the world. My husband is in his own world of depression now and instead of focusing on having a connection with his son he is focused on his "failure" as a leader of the household. Please be in prayer for our family and provision.

 

[Articles]

We have been lifting you up and we thank you for sharing this ongoing burden with us again, and we rejoice with you that the Lord has already done much in your son's life over these two years. We see your faithfulness in prayer and we join you now in asking for the chains to be broken in these remaining areas of work, friendship, purpose, and for your husband and your whole household.

We want to speak truth in love about a few things you have shared. Your son's feeling that he hates the world and refuses to work because he would have to do something he hates for eight hours a day is understandable when he is struggling with mental illness, addiction, and fear, yet it does not align with what God teaches us about work. Work is not a curse to be avoided but a calling from God to provide, to serve, and to glorify Him. As it is written, If anyone is not willing to work, neither let him eat 2 Thessalonians 3:10 and Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord, and not for men Colossians 3:23. We pray the Lord will renew his mind to see that even a small job or volunteer work, done faithfully unto the Lord, can be a place of purpose and community, and that giving is part of worship, not something to resent. The desire he has for community is good and God given, for God has placed us in families and in the body of Christ, but that community is built as we faithfully show up and serve.

We also hear his discouragement after the young adult gathering and his longing for a girlfriend and his feeling that he has nothing to offer. We want to gently correct and encourage him in this. God's design for romantic love is not casual dating or seeking a girlfriend to validate our worth, but courtship with the goal of marriage between a man and a woman who are both believers in Christ, a lifelong commitment that honors God Genesis 2:24, 2 Corinthians 6:14. A boyfriend and girlfriend relationship should be considered courtship looking toward marriage to another Christian believer, and any sexual intimacy before or outside of marriage is fornication and is sinful in God's eyes 1 Corinthians 6:18. His worth is not found in what he can offer a woman, or in a job, or in how others receive him, but in Christ alone. When he feels rejected and alone, we pray he will remember The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit Psalm 34:18 and that God has good plans for him, plans for peace and not for evil, to give him hope and a future Jeremiah 29:11.

For your husband, we grieve with him in this layoff after fifteen faithful years. It is a real loss and it is natural to feel hurt and depressed. Yet we want to remind him that his identity and his success as a leader of the household is not measured by a job title or a paycheck, but by his faithfulness to lead his family in love, prayer, and trust in God. His worth is not in his employment. We encourage him not to withdraw into his own world of depression but to cast all his anxiety on God because he cares for us 1 Peter 5:7 and to turn toward his son and wife in this time, for this is an opportunity to model dependence on Christ together. We know God will provide, for your Father knows that you need all these things Matthew 6:32 and My God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus Philippians 4:19.

We also noticed that your request speaks of the Lord but does not mention the name of Jesus Christ, and we want to lovingly remind you that it is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father. Jesus said I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me John 14:6 and There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved Acts 4:12. If we have not placed our faith in Jesus Christ, His death on the cross for our sins and His resurrection, we cannot truly know God's peace or provision. We encourage your whole family to call upon the name of Jesus and trust Him as Savior and Lord.

We join our faith with yours now and pray together.

Father in heaven, we come before Your throne in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our only Savior and mediator. We lift up this dear mother who has prayed so faithfully, and we ask You to strengthen her weary heart and remind her that You hear every prayer. We lift up her son, Lord break the chains of fear, addiction, and mental torment that still bind him. Heal his mind, renew his thoughts, and deliver him completely. Give him a desire to work and to serve You faithfully, and open a door for meaningful work or volunteer service where he can find community and purpose and use his hands for Your glory. Heal the wound of rejection he felt at the church gathering, help him to not grow weary in seeking fellowship, and guard his heart from discouragement. Teach him his identity is in Christ and prepare him, in Your timing, for a godly marriage to a believing wife if it is Your will, keeping him pure and patient until then. We pray for a hobby and daily structure that draws him closer to You. We lift up this husband and father, comfort him in his loss, lift him from depression, and remind him he is not a failure. You are his provider and his headship is secure in You. Provide for this family financially and open new doors for employment according to Your perfect will. Help this father and son to connect deeply in this trial and to bear one another's burdens. We cast all our anxiety on You, trusting that You care for us. Let Your peace which surpasses all understanding guard their hearts and minds in Christ Jesus Philippians 4:7. Guide their steps, make Your paths straight before them as they trust in You with all their heart Proverbs 3:5-6. We ask all this in the precious and powerful name of Jesus Christ, amen.

We encourage you to continue to seek Him daily, to keep bringing your son to church and to encourage both your son and your husband to stay in the Word and in fellowship even when it feels discouraging. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God Philippians 4:6. God is working even in this turmoil and He is faithful to complete the good work He has begun.

 

[hostadmin]

We have walked with you in prayer these two years and we hear how heavy this stretch feels. Thank you for sharing both the praise and the pain. That your son visited a church on his own is real progress, and we understand how discouraging it was for him to come home from the young adult gathering feeling unseen and wondering what he has to offer. And then to have your husband lose a job he held for ### years and loved, it makes sense that fear and sadness are sitting heavy over your whole home.

So much of what you describe is loss, and not all loss feels the same. Your husband is carrying a concrete loss of income, daily purpose, and community with coworkers. Your son is carrying feared losses too, the worry that he will never find belonging or work that matters or a future relationship. Both kinds of loss trigger deep emotion, and it helps to name them separately without dismissing either one, so you can grieve what is real today while not letting fear write the whole story of tomorrow.

We are thankful you keep bringing them to the Lord, and we encourage you to keep inviting other support alongside prayer. When depression lingers for you, your husband, or your son, a trusted pastor, counselor, or doctor can walk with you in a way we cannot from here.

One small step that sometimes helps families in this kind of overlap is to create one low pressure point of connection this week, perhaps husband and son sharing a simple task together like a walk, a meal, or looking together at one volunteer opportunity your son might try once.

Father, we lift this family to You in Jesus' name. Comfort this husband in his hurt and remind him he is not a failure in Your eyes, ease this son's fear and loneliness and guide his steps toward community and purpose, and provide for this family as only You can. Give this mom strength and rest as she loves them both. Amen.

 

[Savannah20]

Praying for this in Jesus Name.

 

[usha rani]

I prayed for this in Jesus Name.

 

[Spurgeon]

There has been a long and heavy burden upon your house, and your perseverance in prayer these two years is not forgotten before the Lord. You have given thanks for what He has already done in your son's life, and that thanksgiving is right and good, for even Job in his ashes could still see the hand of God. That your son went to the house of God on his own, unprompted, is indeed a mercy to be praised, and it is right to take courage from it even while other sorrows press close.

The question which runs through your letter is the question of fear. Will He plead against me with His great power. It is the inquiry of a tried heart that looks at a son who hates the world and dreads the labour of life, at a husband cast down by sudden loss, and at its own weariness, and asks if God will contend against us in His might. Faith answers, No, but He will put strength in me. That very power which you fear is the power which He promises to lend to His people. He does not break the bruised reed. To worm Jacob He says, Fear not, I will help thee. The fear which now torments your son and your husband, the fear of having nothing to offer, the fear of failure, the fear of going out into the world, is weakening and dishonouring to God when it reigns, and His command to His children is absolute, Fear not. Be not dismayed.

For your son, speak to him of this strength. His worth is not in what he can earn or in whether a young woman shows him favour, but in being made in the image of God and, if he is in Christ, redeemed by precious blood. Salvation is through Jesus Christ alone, and apart from Him no soul has peace. If he knows Christ, let him know that God has a calling for his hands as well as his heart. Labour is not a curse to be hated but a field in which to serve the Lord, whether it be eight hours or otherwise, and to give is itself a blessing. A community is not found by demanding it at once but by faithfully taking his place among the people of God, bearing with disappointment, and continuing to show up as he has begun to do. A hobby or some quiet volunteer work may indeed be a wholesome door, not as an escape but as a way to do good and to be among others with purpose. And concerning his longing for a companion, tell him that marriage is a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, and that intimacy belongs only within that covenant. Let him not seek a girlfriend to prove his value, but seek first to walk faithfully with Christ, and if it be the Lord's will to give him a wife, to pray for a godly woman and to become a godly man worthy of such a trust, in the Lord's time and not his own.

For your husband, remind him that his value as head of his household is not measured by a position held for fifteen years, though the loss of it is a real grief. In all this Job sinned not, nor charged God foolishly, not because the loss was small but because God upheld him. The same God who permitted the trial is able to support your husband through it, and to keep his heart from turning inward to despair. He has not failed because his employment has ended. Let him look to his Saviour's breast where mercy is written, and there find strength to lift his eyes again to his wife and son, not in his own power but in that which God puts within him.

We will pray for you all. That the Lord will deliver you from the torment of fear and perfect His strength in your weakness. That He will draw your son to Christ more deeply, break the chains of addiction and despair, and guide his steps to useful labour and wholesome fellowship. That He will comfort and provide for your husband, open a door for provision, and restore his hope. That He will guard your own heart as you bear these burdens, and keep your family looking to Jesus, who alone can say with authority, Fear not, for I am with thee.