Trip with mother Update and One praise report

[Jonathan_M]

I prayed for this request in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[JesusIsMyTrueNorth]

First, a small, albeit worthy, praise report to share that my son-in-law has backed off all week on his gas lighting and berating posture towards my daughter. We have had a peaceful home all week - although - this weekend, I did overhear a conversation between he and my daughter - I was sitting in the backyard reading my bible and they were on the patio - and he was being critical, but posturing his outward body language and verbal cadence to look and sound like he was having to say what he was saying as a caring husband who noticed things about my daughter that he felt was wrong - it was total theatre since I was in plain view of them. Thankfully, I overheard my daughter lovingly and firmly rebuke what he was saying. I thank God for her love for God and for the wisdom she is growing in every day. So, I thank all who have prayed over that situation. I would like to add that I have posted a few prayer requests over the past 4 weeks requesting prayer for my family. I need to mention that my ### year old youngest son on Monday night felt a terror strike him in the middle of the night and he turned on his lamp to sleep with the light on as he felt fearful - he said he's never felt that before. My youngest son knows me, my daughter, son-in-law, and grandkids are Christians; however, he (and his brother and sister-in-law) is not, yet - in fact, my youngest son recoils whenever I speak about prayer, salvation etc. I took a leap of faith and explained to my son that what happened to him was not irrational fear, but an absolute demonic attack, that there's been a lot of demonic attacks on our family lately, and that I would pray for him. Second point to mention is an update concerning a trip I have been ensnared into going on with my mother - prayer was that the trip would either be cancelled or someone else would step up to drive - I can report that no one has stepped up to drive my mother to see her brother and the trip has not been cancelled. If I remove myself from this trip as I have a right to do, my mother will do what she always does when she feels slighted by someone or when someone does something like stand up for themselves to her, she will become revengeful in whatever way she feels will get back at that person and hurt them the most. So, on Wednesday, I will be driver/care giver to my narcissistic mother. It will be a 7 hour trip one way with a ferry sailing in between to get to my uncles place. I confess, I feel let down that God who knows my mother and her tactics, her selfishness, her controlling behavior and meanness, did not intervene. I have asked God to show me what the point is for me to have to endure what will be a very challenging five days. I am praying for protection over my mind, emotions, words and heart. I have taken four paid vacation days for this trip - four vacation days that I wanted to use for myself later this year, but have had to take them for this trip. There is a silent request I have sent up to God as an outcome to this trip - it is a silent financial request. Thank you all so much for your prayers and for lifting up me and my family in prayer this year.

If I could delete the above post, I would - or at least I would edit it, if I could. This post was written in anger, unrighteous anger - I felt the outcomes to the prayer requests that elicited the above follow up post, were not the outcomes I anticipated they should have been - and I was wrong. God has been working in my heart since writing that post. He is speaking to me, instructing me, and teaching me through that post. I do wish I could delete the above post as I feel ashamed for it - yet, God is so merciful. He is revealing my heart and my understanding because of that post, and He is doing it in a way that is growing me into an understanding He wants me to have. So much has happened within my heart and mind since posting the above post. He is doing a great work in my heart. Thank you Father God for never leaving me nor forsaking me. Thank you Father God, in Jesus name, for not giving up on me - I have been a fool throughout my life as you know - I have acted foolish, made foolish decisions, said and done such stupid, hurtful and destructive things- in your word, when you describe scenarios of the fool - it often reveals to me that I have been that very fool. I have and do acknowledge, as You know God, that Jesus is my Lord and Savior. In Jesus name, I ask you Father God to change in me everything that needs to be changed, please make me more like Jesus - change my foolish heart, my foolish mind, my foolish actions, my foolish responses - change me into a peaceful, obedient, wise, discerning, and righteous daughter in Christ. I ask this in Jesus mighty, precious and Holy name! Amen

 

[Silas]

You are right to give thanks for that moment of peace, and even more for the wisdom you saw in your daughter. That firm yet loving rebuke was a move of the Spirit, and it’s no small thing that you recognized it for what it was. The kind of theatrical posturing you described is exactly the sort of emotional veneer that seeks to manipulate, but it has no lasting substance. True change isn’t found in a carefully staged show of concern; it’s found when a life is anchored in the word and the will of God. I’m glad you saw the difference so clearly on that patio.

What you told your youngest son took real faith, and it was the truth. What struck him in the night was not irrational fear; it was an assault, and a child who does not yet know the Lord is especially vulnerable to that terror. You did right to name it and cover it in prayer. Even someone who recoils at the mention of salvation can be shielded by the prayers of a parent who refuses to let go. Keep praying for his protection, and trust that God’s arm is not too short to guard him through the night, even when his own lamp seems a small comfort.

I hear the ache in your words about the trip. You asked God for a way out, and it seems the door did not open. But a closed escape route does not mean you are outside the will of God. Difficulty is not a sign of his absence. There is a kind of thinking that says if things are hard, I must have missed God’s direction, but that’s not Scripture. Even the apostle Paul saw a disagreement with Barnabas go unresolved over a traveling companion, and their paths simply split. Sometimes God’s will leads us directly into a long drive and a ferry ride with a person whose tongue has caused deep, long-healing emotional wounds.

Those kinds of hurts can feel more damaging than physical ones, and your mother’s pattern of revenge when she feels slighted is a real weapon. You are right to pray for protection over your mind, your emotions, your words, and your heart. But let me offer a sturdier frame for your thinking during these five days. Jesus once asked a question that redraws every family line: “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” He then stretched out his hand toward those who were sitting around him and said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of God is my brother and sister and mother.”

This is not a command to dishonor your mother. The commandment to honor father and mother still stands. But when a mother’s counsel is bent toward wickedness or manipulation, as it was with Athaliah leading her son to ruin, your ultimate kinship is not defined by that. You do not belong to her tactics. Your family is the one that does the will of the Father. You can honor your mother by driving the car and rendering practical care because you are serving the Lord, not because you are surrendering to her control. Your spiritual family the one bonded to you through a common relationship with Jesus is with you in that car. You are not alone. She cannot strip you of that standing.

As for the emotional cost and the lost vacation days you wanted for yourself, that sacrifice is not hidden from God. You may feel that a deep emotion of disappointment is justified, and in a sense it is. But be careful that emotional release doesn’t masquerade as genuine change. Weep before the Lord if you must, but don’t let the ripping of the robe become the only thing that happens. What matters is a heart that stays fixed on him even when the circumstances don’t shift. A strong emotional experience in worship is wonderful, but what will carry you through Wednesday and the days after is a life founded on his word and a faith that is not blown about by which way the wind is blowing.

You also mentioned a silent, private request for a financial outcome. God hears those unspoken things as clearly as the ones we can put into words. I will be praying that the same hand that shields your son in the night will also shield you on the road, that the sun will not smite you by day, and that the vulnerable side of your heart will be guarded. The point of this trip might simply be to show you that you can walk in peace while sitting next to someone who has none, because your true source of kinship and approval is not sitting in the passenger seat. You are a child of the household of God, and nothing your mother does can change that reality.